


Soulmated

by allicya



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Fantasy, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Attempted Rape/Non-Con
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-25
Updated: 2019-08-25
Packaged: 2020-09-26 08:44:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 56,505
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20386915
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/allicya/pseuds/allicya
Summary: Soulmated; a term for someone who already had his or her soulmate sign or mark.Their relationship went astray at the moment where they least expected it. Baekhyun and Jongdae met again a few years later, one person wished to rekindle their romance again, but one person was conflicted because he was already soulmated.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I'll forever suck in summary, so bear with the lame summary you've just read. Unbeta-ed, completely raw from me.

“You are not allowed to date for as long as you’re signed under the agency; as stated in the Point No. 3, which is for 7 years, starting from the date of your debut, plus additional 6 months for debut preparations.”

This was one of the highlighted condition in Jongdae’s contract, after MS Entertainment deemed him to be ready enough to be debuted under a new group. And that would apparently become a problem for 7 years to come, although the 18 years old Jongdae still didn’t realize the complications that simple sentence would bring him. He was young and naive, and he thought that he could hide anything from his employer.

He was supposed to debut with another three Kims; Minseok, Junmyeon and Jongin. And the name of their group was speculated to be called as The Kims. He was scouted together with Baekhyun at their school festival and they became trainees for 6 months before MS Entertainment decided to sign Jongdae as their artist officially, while Baekhyun found true love in fashion and chose to pursue a career as a stylist instead under the same agency.

And the problem was Baekhyun and Jongdae were childhood sweethearts. The man that scouted them thought they were bestfriends due to their closeness but never once suspected something more between the two young men. So both of them chose to hide their relationship too from the beginning since they knew about the no dating rumors in the agency. They didn’t want to jeopardize their futures, but still believed that they could somehow work as a couple without other people knowing it. It was easy during their time as trainees since they still could go back to their own homes and went to school together, the agency’s shackles on them wasn’t strong enough at that time.

Jongdae remembered the quick rush of fear that he felt when he read his contract, everything sounded too good and wonderful, except for that one simple sentence.

“You are not allowed to date for as long as you’re signed under the agency.”

Baekhyun looked at Jongdae who was reading his contract carefully. “You don’t really have to worry.” he said, paused for a long moment when he saw Jongdae bit his lower lip, his eyebrows furrowed tensely. Baekhyun tapped Jongdae’s arm to get his attention. “Dae, we managed to hide our relationship all this time.”

Jongdae looked back at Baekhyun and sighed heavily, his tone was serious and worried, “7 years, Baek. What are 6 months compared to 7 years?” His eyes searched for Baekhyun’s, tried to find some solace in his lover’s gaze.

Baekhyun sighed and reached for Jongdae’s palm, “We can hide it well if we are determine to do it well.” He paused. “With hectic schedule, we will get used to it.”

“You will be transferred to the styling division soon, don’t you forget.” Jongdae said, his face was worried.

With that, Baekhyun focused back on the papers in front of him. If Jongdae received a contract as an artist, Baekhyun received an offer letter as a part time worker cum junior stylist. “Can’t believe Lee PD really recommended me to the styling department.”

Jongdae smiled encouragingly at Baekhyun, he was so glad that the agency was fast enough to realize Baekhyun’s true talent is in fashion.

Baekhyun looked up at Jongdae and smiled back at him. They would be fine, he thought.

Jongdae was born to be a singer. While Baekhyun had a nice voice himself, he preferred to play with the wardrobes and makeup tools more rather than spending his time to practice his dancing skills or concentrating more in vocal classes.

Jongdae rearranged the documents in front of him and decided to go back home to further discuss the other details with his parents. Baekhyun understood his actions and did the same too. Thankfully they lived in the same neighborhood, they could go back home together. “Imagine mom’s reaction when I gave her these documents later.” Jongdae said, smiling wide.

Baekhyun paused and thought for a while. Jongdae’s mother always so supportive of his singing ability. “She will cook a fest tonight.”

“I agree.” Jongdae nodded. “Not sure if she’ll handle it fine about the rules that I’ll need to stay at the company dorm for at least one year after signing the contract though.” He sighed again. “Want to hang out at my house?”

Baekhyun checked the time, his parents would only return from work near midnight. “Alright.”

Jongdae grabbed his bag pack and linked his arm with Baekhyun who looked at him happily. People didn’t question their behavior, always concluded themselves that it was normal between best friends.

But they should have known that often times relationship faltered not because of other people, it was usually the couple itself. But they were young and naive, and they didn’t think much at that time.

Little did they know the dating ban would eat their relationship soon, inside out.

* * *

Baekhyun and Jongdae had one year left before they could graduate high school. They tried their best to juggle between school and work, and now that they were literally in different paths even though still in the same agency, they still managed to find quality time together. And now that The Kims would officially debut soon in August, Jongdae was getting more busy with training until late night and Baekhyun needed to learn from scratch about wardrobe, hair, makeup and art in general. It wasn’t hard to convince people that Baekhyun was single, his friendliness and extremely good social skills made people believe that he was a free soul, originally carefree. And he worked extremely well too, to the point that he caught the attention of one of the lead stylist in the agency, Ms Kwon.

At that time, he didn’t think much, Ms Kwon was his teacher and he respected her so much since she never held back any knowledge from him.

And when The Kims finally debuted, Ms Kwon was kind enough to pick Baekhyun as one of the crew for the stylist group, despite his lack of experience and his status as a student. During the first music show for The Kims, which fortunately fell on weekend, he was the person who pushed the wardrobe trolleys, brought dozens of luggage bags, boxes of makeup tools. But it was all worth it when he could share a few glances with the nervous Jongdae. Baekhyun would come near Jongdae and gave him fist bump, as a good luck.

The Kims was created to be an idol group with each members had a different style of singing, and Jongdae was the master of broad range, so he often the one that kicked the high notes in their songs. Despite his nervousness, Jongdae did extremely well, his voice awed all of the audiences and the youth in his voice was extremely addicting. It was not a hard feat for The Kims to gain new fans with his voice alone. But then each members have their own charms, The Kims’ debut was an instant and extreme success under that first performance alone.

“Baekhyun,” Jongdae approached him immediately after they finished their live performance. “Did I do okay?”

“Are you crazy?” Baekhyun replied with a serious face. Jongdae’s face immediately changed, tried hard to think if he did mess up somewhere. “You just nailed it! You probably already have a fansite the moment you walk out from this building!” Baekhyun shouted happily.

They immediately hugged each other, both were so happy.

“Don’t scare me like that!” Jongdae said as he released the hug. Baekhyun smiled happily at him, then noticed the other three Kims walking towards them which made Jongdae turned his head towards his members.

Baekhyun continued to smile at four of them. “I’m so glad all of you did so well on your first performance.” He gave each of them a hug, they were no strangers since Baekhyun was once a trainee with them too.

Jongdae’s smile never faded, as Minseok, their leader, asked for a group hug from them. It was an emotional moment for them.

They stayed until the closing ceremony, where The Kims where required to go on stage again to celebrate with the other artists. They bowed down towards the senior artists, who often patted their shoulders and wished them good luck on their journey as an idol group. Some even wanted their CD with their signatures on it, since they had already became fans.

“Baekhyun,” Jongdae said nervously, as Baekhyun helped removing his coat. “I still can’t believe that I’m debuting, but when I saw the crowds with eager eyes, crews shouting for us to get ready,” he took a breath. “Then I realize I finally did it.”

Baekhyun smiled, he smiled a lot this day, so proud of Jongdae. He blew dry Jongdae’s sweat on his forehead. “You are debuting.”

“Last year I’m still a normal student, Baekhyun.” Jongdae said excitedly.

Baekhyun fixed Jongdae’s hair, out of habit. “You are an idol now. You are one of The Kims. The one that hits the high note perfectly.” Baekhyun reassured him.

Jongdae blinked at him, embarrassed. “The others can sing nicely too.” He tried to hide his smile. “And Jongin got the most request for signatures.”

“You didn’t give me one.”

Jongdae grinned at him. “I can give you a personal one.” He let Baekhyun removed a little bit of his makeup, before one of The Kims’ junior crew, Chanyeol, called them to get ready to go back to the agency. “Call me when you’re done later.” He told Baekhyun, who needed to stay with the other crews to gather all the things back before returning them at their agency’s building. The Kims was asked to return first since they needed to do the post performance meeting, and to have a quick reassessment with the higher-ups regarding the public response on their debut.

Baekhyun watched Jongdae left with his members, proud of Jongdae’s achievement for today. He grabbed Jongdae’s coat that he wore for the performance and sniffed the material. It smelled like Jongdae’s sweat, which he didn’t mind, since that smell was his favorite one in his life.

* * *

Baekhyun somehow became a common face among The Kims’ crews, not just to learn to be a stylist but literally doing any work that needed any help from anyone. It gave him more time to be with Jongdae, and no one really cared about their closeness. Except for another junior crew of their team, Kyungsoo. But then, Kyungsoo was very observant in his silence, and the fact that he was now attached emotionally with his crewmates, brought him to action. They were at a photoshoot session the next day after The Kims’ debut performance, where The Kims were on the scene now and Baekhyun looked fondly at Jongdae from the sideline. Kyungsoo tapped Baekhyun’s back to get his attention.

“Yes?” Baekhyun asked, his eyes were still glued at Jongdae.

Kyungsoo dragged Baekhyun by his arm, farther than where the crews gathered.

Baekhyun gave him a questioning look, he knew Kyungsoo since his trainee days but they weren’t that close.

“I know this isn’t my place to say so, but I really like you guys so I need to say this out loud,” Kyungsoo paused, “if you and Jongdae are dating, please be extra careful.”

Baekhyun was completely taken aback from the sudden reminder from Kyungsoo, he was dumbfounded for a while.

“I...we...wait, wait. How did you know?”

“It’s freaking obvious in my eyes.” Kyungsoo answered, concerned.

Baekhyun was silent, he really didn’t know how to reply Kyungsoo. Heck, he never expected this kind of situation. So he looked at Jongdae’s direction, his inspiration. Jongdae was been briefed by the photographer on the correct poses and the correct angles of face and body, completely oblivious to Baekhyun’s sudden panic. He just kept staring at Jongdae.

Until Jongdae met his eyes, who was quick to see Baekhyun’s worried face.

_What happened, Baek?_ Jongdae mouthed.

Baekhyun knew Kyungsoo was watching them with a worried face too, and he somewhat found peace in knowing that Kyungsoo was actually on their side.

Baekhyun mouthed _nothing_ to Jongdae and pointed at the photographer so that Jongdae would focus back on the photoshoot session. Then he turned towards Kyungsoo and patted his shoulder, mouthing a simple thanks. 

* * *

The Kims’ debut was phenomenal, the general public loved their songs, and the differences of personalities but overall handsomeness of all four of them managed to make them gained young and old fans quickly. Their mini album which contained 5 songs, also featured various kind of genres; pop with a mix of hip hop, R&B and one ballad song. Their 3 weeks promotion ended well, the album selling was good enough for rookies. Baekhyun managed to join any schedule which fell on weekend, and managed to spend some time with Jongdae whenever both of them weren’t occupied with their works. But it wasn’t enough for Baekhyun, and the fact that Jongdae was getting more attention now that people started to get to know him as an idol somehow made Baekhyun felt insecure with himself. No, he would never doubt Jongdae’s loyalty for him, it was just that he hated that he still didn’t progress much in his work. He still one of the crews who did the hard labor, and he still couldn’t even touch even one small makeup brush.

Finally Jongdae had a free day a week after his group’s promotion ended and Baekhyun was free too that day, so decided to have dinner at Baekhyun’s house since his parents always came back home late. “Baekhyun, something on your mind? You didn’t talk much.” Jongdae asked, as he wiped his mouth with a tissue.

Baekhyun stared at him for a while, Jongdae really knew him inside out. He tried to arrange his words properly, didn’t want to word his thoughts wrongly. “I really want to learn more about makeup but Ms Kwon still doesn’t want to give me the green light.”

Jongdae stared back at him. “You mean..?”

“The most she would let me do is to remove the artists’ makeup which is literally just wiping the face with a cotton pad absorbed in micellar water.” Baekhyun sighed.

Jongdae grabbed Baekhyun’s hand on the table, “You can always start trying to paint my face, you know I don’t mind.”

Baekhyun sighed, “I know, but I still haven’t received a proper lesson.”

“Observations are always another way of learning, Baek. We can go buy makeup stuffs online and you can practice with my face.” Jongdae suggested.

Baekhyun smiled, Jongdae never failed to lift his mood up. “You know that I love you.”

Jongdae smiled back at him fondly, and finally realized that they were always on their feet, hurried here and there due to work, that in this peaceful silence, he felt that sudden longing for his Baekhyun. Jongdae stood and approached Baekhyun, opted to sit on Baekhyun’s lap instead which Baekhyun was quick to hug Jongdae’s waist. He cupped Baekhyun’s face softly, heart softened by the loving look that Baekhyun gave him. They stared at each other like that for a while, eyes sending messages that words couldn’t say. 9pm, there were a few more hours for them to have the house for themselves.

The moment was perfect, and it had been a while since they last kissed, so when Jongdae leaned in closer and pressed his lips on Baekhyun’s, Baekhyun already angled his head. The kiss wasn’t eager and rush, it was more to longing and remedy. Their remedies. Jongdae tugged Baekhyun’s hair softly using both of his hands for greater access, Baekhyun held Jongdae’s waist firmer, easily gave Jongdae what he wanted. Baekhyun noted the soft texture of Jongdae’s lips, must had been all the lip balm and lip stick that he had been using nonstop since preparations for debut until now. But Jongdae still tasted like Jongdae, and Baekhyun found extreme comfort in Jongdae.

“Stay the night. I’ll send you to your dorm before dawn.” Baekhyun said between their kisses, which Jongdae just kissed him deeper as a form of saying yes.

* * *

Baekhyun and Jongdae lived in a soulmate world. It was a world where one person was destined for another person, and the connections differed from each couple. It could be a name on the wrist, one of the most wanted connection since they would waste no time to find their soulmate with the name so vaguely on their skins. Or it could be an image on their skins where they first touched, which was one of the hardest since anyone could miss the small image.

And the soulmate signs would only appear when both of the parties were ready to commit for each other until the end; or what the commoners called “the perfect timing”. That was the hardest rule ever, since some couples only received their soulmate signs when they were 40s even when they already dated the same person back when they were 20s. The rule somehow made some people didn’t believe in soulmate signs since the absurdity of the so called “the perfect timing”.

And that was the problem. Baekhyun didn’t believe in the soulmate system. He and Jongdae already dated seriously for 4 years and there wasn’t even a tiny bit of soulmate sign between them. But he could swear with all his life and soul that Jongdae was the one for him. And the other problem was that Jongdae believed in the system. He often said to Baekhyun that probably they weren’t ready to commit enough, with all their studies and now with all their work for their dreams.

Baekhyun respected Jongdae’s view on soulmate sign, just like Jongdae respected his. But he always told Jongdae that even if Jongdae wasn’t his destined soulmate, he would never look at his soulmate and would stay with Jongdae. Jongdae would just smile at him, said that he could feel in his bones that Baekhyun would be his destined soulmate.

The next month, The Kims were being called on a meeting to discuss their next comeback which was scheduled on the next six months which fell in March, which also would be a month after Jongdae and Baekhyun’s graduations. They couldn’t wait to graduate, to divide time between school and work was hard enough. And two months after that would be their coming of age celebration, meant that finally Baekhyun would be able to rent an apartment and live independently, as what his parents already agreed with him.

Jongdae read the documents which already provided by their agency on the list of team for the upcoming comeback. He searched for Baekhyun’s name on the styling department and his face lit up as he saw his beloved’s name.

“Baek,” Jongdae called him right after the meeting ended, which only finished after 5pm. “Your name is listed as one of the junior makeup artist.”

Baekhyun’s gasped clearly could be heard on the phone. “Where are you? I’m at the wardrobe room.”

“The Kims’ wardrobe?” Jongdae replied. “I’m coming.”

“Okay.” Baekhyun ended the call and tried to calm himself. Junior makeup artist? Ms Kwon did gave him a few hints about taking him as a permanent stylist after he graduated but he didn’t put much hope in it, afraid that he was reading the lines differently. But after Jongdae himself told him, he really didn’t know what to do, he finally, somehow, would progress in his dream, would be a permanent member to a team which Jongdae would be there too.

He stared at the colorful suits in front of him, he was alone in that big room which could easily be called as warehouse due to the amounts of the clothes inside. Ms Kwon loved to put him in charge of arranging the suits as a way for him to familiarize with the brands. Certain brands had their own certain trademarks, it might be in their pleats, their cuttings or anywhere else in the clothes. Ms Kwon would sometimes gave Baekhyun pop quizzes on which brands emphasized on which details. But it were the makeup things that enticed Baekhyun’s interest the most. How to blend the color, how to blend the fluid, how to cover the imperfections.

He couldn’t believe that after few months handling the wardrobe section, he was actually going to venture as a junior makeup artist. He exhaled heavily, tried to steady his trembling fingers. Ms Kwon did text him to meet her after 5pm with the others for a big meeting, and now he knew what the meeting would focus on; the news of latest recruitment for the stylist department.

There was a soft knock on the door and the door was opened slowly to reveal the face that Baekhyun loved the most. Jongdae gave him the biggest smile before he slowly closed the door and walked towards Baekhyun. Jongdae wore a simple grey shortsleeved t-shirt with a pair of jeans; Jongdae’s usual style whenever he wasn’t on stage.

“Dae,” Baekhyun called out, one hand already reached out for Jongdae.

"My Byun," Jongdae smiled at him, long strides towards Baekhyun, hand quick to grab Baekhyun's. They only stared at each other, in the middle of long rows of suits and jackets and dresses and trousers. But Baekhyun could only focus on Jongdae, Jongdae's smile for him never faded. How lucky he was to find Jongdae, one touch and his fingers stop trembling. Were these Jongdae's feelings when he exited the CEO room last year and knew that he was one of the lucky member chosen to be the next debutant?

He interlaced his fingers with Jongdae, too many things crossed his mind, he didn't know where to begin first. "Did you double check if it's really my name?"

Jongdae didn't reply, Jongdae just stepped in his place and held both of his cheeks, eyes looking at Baekhyun's so lovingly, forehead leaned with Baekhyun's softly, intimately. "Congratulations, my love." Jongdae said as he placed his lips on Baekhyun's, softly, and Baekhyun could taste the smile on his kiss, he couldn’t resist to smile too. He grabbed Jongdae’s neck, want to taste more.

The voice outside of the wardrobe room could be heard clearly, they quickly ended the kiss due to panic. Baekhyun dragged Jongdae into one of the fitting room located at the corner, both tried to make no noise as Baekhyun locked the door silently. They rarely let emotions controlled them during work, but then Baekhyun was too emotional not to do anything just now with Jongdae looked at him like that.

And Jongdae was still looking at him like that, both of them crushed their lips again, too heated from the previous session and the adrenaline rush. “I sent Baekhyun just now to check the new suits from Gucci.” They could hear Ms Kwon’s voice as she entered the wardrobe room.

“He’s not here yet,” another voice answered, Chanyeol’s.

“How dare they sent such a revealing suit for Jongin! He’s only 18!” Ms Kwon’s angered voice was loud, Jongdae stopped kissing Baekhyun.

But Baekhyun didn’t really care what happened outside, he continued to kiss the corner of Jongdae’s mouth, down to the side of Jongdae’s neck.

“Why are you so horny now?” Jongdae mouthed the words, smile formed as Baekhyun’s kisses tickled him.

“Feels nice to do this in secret,” Baekhyun mouthed back, his hand already went under Jongdae’s shirt.

Jongdae didn’t stop Baekhyun, he himself was turned on by Baekhyun’s eagerness, so he placed a hand on Baekhyun’s cheek, wanted Baekhyun’s lips back.

Baekhyun quickly gave in, the idea of kissing silently was foreign for them, but they managed to enjoy the kisses nonetheless. Jongdae’s back nearly hit the wall since Baekhyun kept on pushing him backward, but Baekhyun softened the hit by putting his palm on the wall, another around Jongdae’s shoulder. Jongdae smiled again in their kiss, he never thought one day he would do this kind of thing in a fitting room right where Baekhyun’s supervisor was just outside there in a very close range.

“You’re crazy.” Jongdae mouthed, he put both hands on Baekhyun’s chest.

“I’m crazy for you.” Baekhyun mouthed back, hands on Jongdae’s slim waist.

Jongdae stared at Baekhyun for a while, and they just stayed in the silence, not really comfortable since Ms Kwon was still talking with Chanyeol outside.

“Jongdae, I love you.” Baekhyun mouthed, but the honesty in his words was loud enough, Jongdae chose to let the words settled in his heart, as always, ever since Baekhyun first confessed to him years ago.

Their love story was the typical high school plus childhood love story, best friends since kindergarten with feelings slowly turned to love mixed with longing and lust, and that’s when they both confirmed their relationship wasn’t the platonic type. Their families accepted both of them, knew better nothing could separate them.

Baekhyun pinched Jongdae’s waist lightly, “How dare you daredream—“

“I love you more,” Jongdae mouthed, hands went further up to Baekhyun’s neck. “I love you more, no matter what happen.” He mouthed and claimed Baekhyun’s lips back, before Baekhyun could say anything.

No matter what would happen, they would always have each other.

Ms Kwon and Chanyeol already exited the room but they couldn’t hear it, both were too lost in each other. Baekhyun could drink Jongdae like this forever, and for forever to happen he promised to himself that he would do his best to provide for Jongdae, to proof that he was the best person for Jongdae. Jongdae started from a rookie position too, and he would do his best to climb on his dream, he would be the one to style Jongdae’s head to toe, bravely and no longer in hiding, in front of the world whole.

* * *

Minseok was the eldest in The Kims, hence the decision to put him as their leader, plus his long time as a trainee in the agency. Despite his quiet and calm behavior, Minseok was a very observant person. He might be the busiest member with all the meetings with the manager and crew were usually been forwarded to him first so that he could relay to the other members before the official notice from the email arrive. He was the one toask the staffs about anything, even the simplest thing as where to put their handphones during a recording. But despite all of that, he still could observe the smallest thing happening in his group. And he was not a fool to not notice how Jongdae would stare at the crew. One particular crew.

Baekhyun and Jongdae just graduated, and right after the graduation, Baekhyun received the offer letter to work as a permanent staff in MS Entertainment, along with some other junior crews, including Chanyeol and Kyungsoo who were offered to be the assistant managers. And it was during that one small celebration party after they finished filming the MV for their latest comeback (also to celebrate the crew that accepted the permanent position offers) that he saw Jongdae leaned on Baekhyun too comfortably, fingers linked under the table. Not the first time, he saw this scene a few times already and he no longer felt at ease whenever he saw them.

Minseok patted both Jongdae and Baekhyun's shoulder, "Can I talk with both of you for a moment?" Minseok's tone was clearly an order instead of a question, they nodded as they grabbed their padded coats, masks and beanies, proceeded to follow Minseok who exited the restaurant.

It was a cold winter night, as Jongdae and Baekhyun approached Minseok who was sitting at the bench provided at the bus stop in front of the restaurant. "What is it, Minseok?" Jongdae asked, sat at Minseok's left while Baekhyun chose to kneel in front of Minseok.

Minseok released his breathe, a small puff appeared before it disappeared immediately. "Are you guys dating each other?"

If it was possible, both of them were frozen, not because of winter, but due to the sudden bomb dropped by Minseok.

“Look, you guys can be honest with me because I’ve been thinking about this for a while too.” Minseok said again, looking at both of them who were still in silence.

Jongdae was the one to answer him. “We are dating each other. For years already, even before we became the trainees.” He answered honestly, there was no use in lying to his leader.

Minseok sighed, looking at nothing in particular but his eyes were intense. Baekhyun tried to say something, anything, but he wasn’t a member of The Kims so he really had no idea what to explain to Minseok. He didn’t want to harm The Kims, they were doing great and continued to gain more fans and fame right now.

“Minseok, we promise we will never do anything stupid.” Jongdae said, hand reached out for Minseok’s.

“I promise too I will never disrupt The Kims’ career, please don’t tell anyone about us.” Baekhyun finally said a sentence to Minseok.

“I respect your relationship, I’m not that evil.” Minseok looked at Baekhyun. “But you guys aren’t that good in hiding lately, do you know that?”

Baekhyun held his breath for a while, he knew Minseok was directing the words at him. He was the clingier one, he was the one that was touch-craved. “Sorry—“

“What if the higher ups were the one to caught you guys?” Minseok’s tone was serious.

“I’m sorry I’m so careless lately but I really need Jongdae.”

Minseok stared at Baekhyun for a while, Baekhyun wasn’t lying even though that sentence sounded like it came from 16 years old teenager that was madly in love. “What should I do with you guys?” He sighed again. “Anyone else know about this?”

“Kyungsoo knows too.” Baekhyun answered.

Minseok took a deep breath. “I told it before, you guys aren’t that subtle anymore.” He then looked at Jongdae, tried to pick the right words. “I’ll promise to not tell anyone, only if you tell Junmyeon and Jongin too.”

“But—I’ll never disturb you guys with my relationship.” Jongdae tried to reason. “There’s no reason to involve more people in this already, the less the better.”

Minseok shook his head, the couple clearly didn’t get it. “You’re one of The Kims, Jongdae. Anything about you, not just Baekhyun, even the choice of your favorite drink will affect the whole group.” Minseok slowly stood up, his head in a mess. “Tell them at the dorm tonight, or tomorrow night, I don’t care. I’ll talk with you only after you talk with them.” He said before entering the restaurant again.

Once Minseok no longer in view, Jongdae dropped his head on his knees. He was trembling, not because of winter, but because of the fear he thought he nearly caused to Baekhyun and The Kims, to himself. Baekhyun put a hand on Jongdae’s head.

“Hey, sweetheart... I can accompany you to tell Junmyeon and Jongin if you want me to.”

“No, it’s okay...” He looked up at Baekhyun and took Baekhyun’s hand. “It’s just that I thought I really ruin everything.”

Baekhyun thought for a while, he knew Jongdae valued The Kims so much. “Jongdae, I—“ He paused, it was hard and honestly he didn’t want it but the situation forced him to do something about it. “I’ll try to be less clingy, I’ll try not to touch you unnecessarily. No more weird touches.”

Jongdae looked deep inside Baekhyun’s eyes, the guilt was evident. He tugged Baekhyun’s hand, gestured him to sit beside him on the bench. “Baekhyun, I’m sorry that with me now is that stupid dating ban contract baggage.” Baekhyun’s eyes already teary due to extreme emotions. “But I can promise you, for the next six years and forever, I’ll still love you, in hiding or in public. So, please don’t worry too much. For me, please?”

Baekhyun nodded slowly as he looked at Jongdae, smiled as he thought how lucky he was to have an amazing man by his side. “Let’s go back inside, we shouldn’t raise anymore suspicions about us.” Baekhyun stood up, he released Jongdae’s hand. “Sigh, I can’t hold your hands freely anymore. People will question.”

“We can still stand close together tho, for heat purposes.” Jongdae joked, and Baekhyun’s heart felt lighter.

* * *

Jongdae did tell Junmyeon and Jongin after they returned to their dorm that night, accompanied by Minseok only. He didn’t want to burden Baekhyun with talks regarding The Kims since he should handle it himself. Jongin, the naive youngest member, was shocked to hear that while Junmyeon received it coolly, saying that he somehow could feel something else from Baekhyun and Jongdae but refused to think too much about that.

Both of them accepted the news kindly, and all three of them promised to keep Jongdae’s relationship as a secret since they were fond of Baekhyun too, and saw no reason for them to breakup just because of the dating ban. The issue was well kept among the four of them, more carefully now that they were doing their comeback since they would be a lot of interviews and exposure to the media would happen, and they need to control their mouth from answering questions wrongly. Baekhyun was more careful too, and since he was one of the crew for The Kims’ comeback, he was careful not to be too clingy with Jongdae, and chose Jongin as the member that he would help for the comeback.

The Kims’ comeback was a major success. They finally won their first music show, and won a total of four wins in the span of three weeks promotions. It was exhilarating, more intense than their debut, and their names were on the news came out everyday as the rookie that should be watched out by other idol groups. When they received their payment for that comeback, the amount was big enough that Jongin needed to check all four of their bank accounts to believe that it was the payment for their comeback, and not some weird deposits from some weird people.

And soon, it would be their first anniversary as The Kims, and also marked the day where Jongdae could finally sleep somewhere else besides the dorm.

“Let’s find a condominium, Baekhyun. For just the two of us.” Jongdae said one day, when they had lunch together in an empty studio at the agency.

Baekhyun nearly choked on his food, so he cleared his voice before saying. “Are you serious, Dae? Are you asking me to move in with you? But my salary is literally isn’t that much—“

“I’ll pay for the, I don’t know, rent? Or monthly payment? Deposit, for sure. I’ll pay for it first, you can help paying once you are more stable, or you can help buy the groceries and small stuffs first, I don’t mind. But I really want our own place. Rent or buying, doesn’t matter.” Jongdae told him all the things that he already thought for months already. He told his parents about his plan, which they supported him fully since it would help Jongdae and Baekhyun too with their limitation to act like a normal couple in front of other people.

Baekhyun nearly in tears, he knew Jongdae was serious about them but to buy a house for them when he was just 20 years old, that was a big move from Jongdae. “Okay.” He replied short, but Jongdae knew from Baekhyun’s eyes what he really meant and smiled at Baekhyun.

“But I can’t afford a big condominium right away. Maybe a studio apartment? What do you think?” Jongdae’s eyes gleamed with excitement. Finally one of their childhood dreams to live together could become a reality.

Baekhyun stared at him again, tried his best not to leap at Jongdae and shower him with kisses. "Studio apartment. You can't hide anything from me."

"Please, I have no intention to hide anything from you now that I have to hide us for 7 years."

Baekhyun sighed and tried not to think for the next 6 years to come. "When will you start looking for the house? Can I follow?"

Jongdae unlocked his phone to check his schedule. There were so many plans for The Kims, he couldn't even manage to remember his own schedule. "After the anniversary party? Or before the party if I can squeeze one or two free day."

Baekhyun nodded, he watched himself how busy Jongdae was. Baekhyun was still one of The Kims' crew, the new arrangement for the stylist wasn't decided yet for The Kims'next comeback but Baekhyun would still work with The Kims for the anniversary party. "We can start look for it online. I can help you to call the agency if you want to, that's the least I can help you for the time being." Baekhyun said as he played with his chopsticks, mind already wandering about their new home.

Jongdae locked his phone, "Sure, I think I want to buy it using both of our names."

Baekhyun stopped playing with the chopsticks, exhaled before replying. "Won't the people query about that later? You know how scary the netizens can be to search for information."

Jongdae just continued to chew his food, clearly considering Baekhyun's words but then he already thought about it too numerous times. "I don't mind. I can't mind."

Baekhyun put down his chopsticks and folded both arms on the table. "We can't risk anything."

Jongdae didn't reply him, he just sipped his drink slowly. "Bestfriends buying house together. Nothing wrong with that."

Baekhyun stared again, tried his best not to smile at Jongdae. "You're so whipped for me, it's scary."

"You only know that today?"

Now Baekhyun really couldn't hide his smile, kicked Jongdae's leg under the table. "Sugar daddy."

Jongdae kicked Baekhyun back, fondly smiled at Baekhyun. "Pay me back later when you're so successful, people are literally begging you to be their makeup artist and stylist."

Baekhyun gave him a smirk. "Sounds like a plan, I'm in."

Jongdae rearranged his chopsticks on the empty plate, a habit he always had. "Make it come true, Baekhyun. I'll be right beside you, let's carve our names together, achieve our dreams one by one, together."

Baekhyun gave him his pinky which Jongdae was quick to link with his own pinky. "Promise." Baekhyun ruffled Jongdae's hair with his other hand, too fond and in love with his boyfriend. "My meeting will start soon. Talk to you tonight?" Baekhyun slowly stood up.

Jongdae pouted, they only met for an hour. "If our practice end early and if I still have energy left to talk with you."

Baekhyun laughed. "You always have energy for me."

Jongdae continued to pout but moved to stand up too, he needed to see his manager to discuss if he could have some free time to look for a suitable home. Another comeback was already in preparation which was scheduled on a week after their anniverysary party so he really had so little time for Baekhyun. "Baekhyun, can I hug you? Friendly hug." He asked innocently.

Baekhyun didn't question him, Jongdae rarely the needy one so he gave him a big hug since he knew his lover needed it so much. "Don't worry too much, love. You're doing fine, I'm doing fine, we're doing fine." Baekhyun said as he rubbed Jongdae's back.

"I love you, Byun." Jongdae whispered low.

"I love you too, Kim."

* * *

The Kims' schedule was hectic, with photoshoots, practice, comeback preparation and also for the first anniversary party with their fans which easily filled the 3000 seats in their agency auditorium, to the point that the highups of MS Entertainment decided to do a bigger party at a bigger venue next year. The Kims didn't spoil their new mini album during their anniversary party, just to fuel the element of surprise for their next comeback. And unluckily, the anniversary party would be Baekhyun's last project with The Kims for the time being since Ms Kwon arranged him to be a makeup artist for a senior girl group. Even though he was sad that he couldn't work with Jongdae for a while, Baekhyun reallly looked forward to work with a girl group since their makeup were more details compared to boy group and Baekhyun could learn more from this experience.

Jongdae and Baekhyun managed to find a studio apartment that appealed to both of them, after months of searching and researching the perfect one to buy. Jongdae decided to buy the studio apartment instead of renting since he had enough money to buy it, in installment of course.

"We'll sign the agreement after I finish my comeback promotion."

"How about during your birthday? It'll be a good birthday present."

Jongdae smiled as he remembered his conversations with Baekhyun about moving in to their new home soon. He already told the other members about his plan, and they received it well, knowing how attached Jongdae was with Baekhyun. It didn't mean moving out completely from the dorm tho, he already promised them that he would stay at the dorm during the promotion period so that it would be easier for their managers to handle them.

Their next comeback came, with more wins and more fans they managed to gain, and more money entered their bank accounts. It was a nice feeling, but during the waiting time to perform in music show, Jongdae did miss Baekhyun a little too much, and they rarely had the time to meet each other even when they were breathing inside the same building.

He called Baekhyun at 4 freaking AM since they had to shoot their performance for a music show at early morning. He knew Baekhyun was probably sleeping, NSND, the group that Baekhyun was in charge now was still in preparation period.

"Baby, I love you but I'm sleepy." Baekhyun said as he answered the phone. Jongdae just smiled as he listened to the voice, coarse and heavy with sleep, he could imagine Baekhyun's messy bed hair while Jongdae was leaning on a wall with face perfect with makeup and hair was set, ready to make his fans crazy with his looks. They were no irritation in Baekhyun's voice, just purely sleepy, but still delighted to know Jongdae thought of him at this freaking hour. "Are you saving your voice for the performance because I can't hear you."

"I miss you and we only exchanged 10 messages for today." Jongdae whispered, he was standing at a corner where no staffs walked around, but still chose to be careful in case someone might hear him.

"Jongdae, Jongdae! I really have a good news to share!" Baekhyun's voice suddenly changed into full excitement as if he just remembered something important. "NSND will have a world tour soon and Ms Kwon chose me to be one of the crew for that world tour! Jongdae, I'll go places!" Baekhyun nearly screamed on the phone.

Jongdae smiled as he listened to Baekhyun. World tour. It would be nice to have a world tour. "That's great, Baek! I know you really want to be a concert's crew!"

Baekhyun nodded even though he knew Jongdae could not see him. "The intense moment of a concert. God, I really want it, Dae."

"I want to have a world tour with The Kims too." Jongdae whispered again, he had so many dreams for The Kims and his members shared the same sentiment with him. They really wanted to go worldwide.

"You'll one day, Jongdae. I know you'll." Baekhyun smiled, he truly believed that Jongdae would make it, The Kims was starting to be a big deal in their country, with offers kept on coming at them. "You'll, love." He said again, smooched a good luck kiss for Jongdae before hanging up.

* * *

NSND's first stop for their world tour was in Shanghai which was scheduled at the end of September. With both Jongdae and Baekhyun were busy left and right, it was a wonder that they managed to find a day off during Jongdae's birthday to sign the purchasing document for their studio apartment. It was literally under both of their names, although Jongdae was the only one to fork out for the up front payment. Baekhyun promised to top up by buying some of the furnitures later, his income increased steadily too after he was chosen as the concert's crew, the claim was big enough for him to splurge a bit for him and Jongdae. They did buy most of their furnitures online, it was hard to bring Jongdae outside now without people recognizing him as one of The Kims. And by the end of September, when Baekhyun went to Shanghai, they already had a queen size bed, a closet, TV, refrigerator, washing machine and a complete kitchen with dining table, enough to survive a basic life.

Baekhyun was thrilled when he arrived at Shanghai. The crew flew a day earlier than NSND to prepare their stuffs at the venue, so Baekhyun was able to experience the empty stadium with only the staffs setting up the equipment and checking the stadium. Baekhyun never had the chance to go outside Korea before, he was totally out of his element with the difference in language, the foods, the environment but he loved every second of it. Ms Min assigned him to help a senior makeup artist for a member of NSND, Taeng, which already familiar with Baekhyun, but Baekhyun wasn't familiar with the tense during a concert.

And only during the day of the concert itself he finally understood the stress and the tense that everyone talked and reminded him about. They needed to doll NSND up to perfection, no flaws should be seen. The right clothes needed to be double check so that no malfunction would happen on stage, even a loose thread needed to be cut to ensure nothing bad happened on stage. And whenever NSND returned backstage to change their outfits and retouch their makeup, the most that they had was a minute and even that felt like racing with extreme adrenaline. To wipe the artist's face clean from any sweat and immediately put the color back on the face, to dry their foreheads and napes from any sign of wetness, to make sure the in ear's wires was properly stick on the outfit without messing with the outfit itself, to comb the hair neatly according to the concept, and almost every single duty itself backstage was extremely thrilling. Everyone worked so fast but efficiently during the concert, and when NSND finally returned backstage after they concluded the concert, the satisfaction that Baekhyun was so overwhelming.

The after party held that night was a blast too, Baekhyun enjoyed himself so much, mingling with the crews that he just befriended for the tour, and having fun with the crews that he already knew from previous projects. He was totally spent that night, and they only returned to the homestay rented for the staffs some time during midnight, Baekhyun immediately crashed his bed dut to fatigue.

He woke up that morning with a headache, thankfully the crews was scheduled to return back to Korea at noon.

And he also woke up with 24 angry Jongdae's messages, since he didn't contact Jongdae for more than 24 hours already.

* * *

Jongdae's mood was terrible, even the oblivious Jongin could see it as a clear as the day. They had a meeting that day with three of their directors, so Jongdae really tried his best not to spoil anyone's mood.

It was one of the important meeting, a post mortem of their recent comeback, and based on the outcome, the agency would decide the next course for The Kims. Jongdae managed to kick his anger for Baekhyun away when the meeting started, focused on the slideshow that pointed the increase of The Kims's sales in both inside and outside of Korea.

"We decided to give The Kims an Asia tour and a full album." Choi PD announced with a big smile on his face. All of the members were awestrucked, it took them a good one minute after repetitively asked Choi PD to say the sentence again and again that they finally shouted happily.

"Seriously? Guy, seriously, we made it! Our own concert!" Junymyeon shouted happily.

Jongdae's hands trembled, he could only hug Jongin who sat beside him tightly. Asia tour was still a tour, a tour for The Kims only, no longer a performance that required them to share a stage with other artists, this was solely about them.

The others immediately joined in the hug, everyone patted each other at the back and ruffled each other's hair. And in that moment Jongdae realized, these three people were the people that grew so deep in him, he would never want to leave them. He finally had other people that he could trust besides his family and Baekhyun, and the fact made him nearly cried in happines; he finally found a reason to live his life meaningfully, The Kims. The group and each of the Kims.

* * *

Ms Kwon invited Baekhyun for a lunch before their flight back to Korea, and honestly, Baekhyun felt so restless to meet Ms Kwon since she rarely meet a crew one by one. And yeah, Jongdae still hadn't reply any of his messages made him antsy.

He didn't intend to ignore Jongdae, he was just too busy and too nervous with the whole concert that he didn't feel right to hold his phone when the other crews were working so diligently to make sure the concert ran smoothly. So after a good morning and please pray for our success messages that he texted Jongdae early on the morning of the concert, he didn't text anything else even when Jongdae kept asking him if the concert went well or not. He wasn't a good drinker too, so texting Jongdae wasn't really in his to-do-list during the party, he just wanted to enjoy the party just like the other people, with the thought that he would call Jongdae when he reached home. Which he didn't. He was KO'd last night. He knew he could do better, Jongdae never failed to reply his text no matter how busy they were, so Baekhyun really did something out of their norm this time. They always replied each other within 12 hours, and to not make a sound for 24 hours, even Baekhyun felt was too much.

There were a few free times yesterday that he could text Jongdae back but he didn't.

The sound of Ms Kwon's fork clashed with the plate made Baekhyun focused back to his supervisor. "London?"

Ms Kwon smiled at him, "Yes, London. A famous actress offered me to be her personal stylist. And I would love to bring you with me. I see so many potential in you, Baekhyun."

Baekhyun smiled nervously at her, completely off guard. "But I can't talk English. I--I'm afraid I'll just be a baggage to you."

Ms Kwon smiled at his words, Baekhyun was truly an honest person. She was 10 years older than Baekhyun, and she couldn't help to see Baekhyun as her own brothermost of the times. "I'll teach you. I see that you actually understand English, you just don't have the confidence to talk in English. But you still managed to communicate with other people well these past few days despites the language boundary, so I believe there's no problem for you to go with me."

"Ms Kwon, I..." Baekhyun tried to think, but his brain failed to function somehow.

"It's okay if you want to think first Baekhyun. My contract with MS Entertainment will only expires on April next year anyway. I'll move to London after my contract expired. I just want to tell you in advance, since I want you to consider it seriously."

Baekhyun didn't utter a reply, he just nodded in silence. He knew Ms Kwon always encouraged him during work, always gave her opinions whenever Baekhyun asked her opinions, but he never thought Ms Kwon would one day wanted to be his personal mentor. That was truly a huge move from Ms Kwon.

"Think of it carefully, I'll ask you again in March if you still didn't agree with me."

"Give me some time then, it's just too sudden to answer or comment anything right now."

"Of course, Baekhyun." Ms Kwon replied kindly. "But remember, once you follow me then you're no longer bounded to one particular agency, we're practically freelancing."

Baekhyun's face changed into confusion.

"Unattached. I might be attached to the actress, but I'll not attach you with me. You're free to style anyone you want."

Baekhyun gasped, "Freedom to work."

"Wonderful, right?" Ms Kwon sipped her coffee before continued. "The artists under MS Entertainment sure are interesting but we're bounded by their concepts and their limitations. Out there, there are more things to discover. Fashion is limitless, Baekhyun."

Excitement flared Baekhyun's body, he himself was shocked that his passion for fashion was this strong, stronger than anything he ever imagined.

If previously his life was all dedicated for himself, his family and Jongdae; the sudden realization that he wanted to move further in the fashion industry, much more further than the Korea fashion industry itself, to make a name solely for himself; scared and excited him so much at the same time, to the point that he was breathing heavily due to the excitement. But. But he still needed Jongdae in his life.

He unlocked his phone, and excused himself from Ms Kwon, saying he needed to make the phone call. He immediately called Jongdae, international charges be damned, only to receive no response at the end. Jongdae did text him afterwards, "I'm in a meeting with the PDs."

Baekhyun laid his back on the wall, started to imagine his life with Jongdae. It would be hard with the dating ban, but he still would have Jongdae on most of the nights in those 6 years left now that they already had a home together. But then he tried to imagine having his own brand, his own line, his own name. And Baekhyun immediately erased the thoughts from his brain.

Because the thoughts were equally exciting too.

* * *

Baekhyun finally reached home; their studio apartment. It felt homey enough even though the studio was still partially furnished and still lacking here and there, the place was still their safe haven. He immediately sunk on the bed, the sun just set but he was too tired to do anything, even to unpack his stuffs. The bed already smelled like Jongdae, warm and calming, and sleep came to him soon, Baekhyun didn't even fight his sleepiness away.

He stirred from his sleep when he felt an arm wrapped around his waist, and fingers carded his hair. He opened his eyes, the studio was dimmed with little lights so he had a hard time to know the current time. And he looked at the other pair of eyes that were looking at him. Jongdae was there, laid beside him.

"Baekhyun," Jongdae whispered, his eyes were kind. Of course they had their fights before, but it was their first time to fight with such a big distance between each other, under a heavy pressure too, Jongdae didn't even feel the anger anymore when he saw Baekhyun laid on their bed. He just missed Baekhyun so damn much.

Baekhyun scooted closer, he put his hand on Jongdae's cheek, fondly staring at Jongdae. Did Jongdae become thinner in those five days he was away from him? He put an arm under Jongdae's head and hugged him close to him. "Jongdae," Baekhyun's heart was relieved, the distance really killed him inside. "You're so beautiful up close, your selfie isn't doing you any justice."

Jongdae laughed and the vibrations on Baekhyun's chest really healed Baekhyun inside out. "I'll stop giving you my selfies then."

"Please don't stop. I need materials to inspire me everyday. A face for my brand." Baekhyun said it easily, even he himself didn't realize he just utter the words. My brand. Jongdae tilted his head up, wanted to see Baekhyun's face, confused by Baekhyun's words. "Your brand?"

Baekhyun sat up, and pulled Jongdae to sit too. He held Jongdae's hand, tried to arrange his words first. "I want to have my own brand, Jongdae. One day. Maybe when I can somehow put my name on the fashion industry." He paused, he knew Jongdae waited patiently. "And when that day come, please be the face of my brand, Jongdae. Let me put both of my dreams together side by side, please?"

Jongdae always had that dreamy stare when he was looking at Baekhyun, and he still had that look on his face, now laced with proud too. "Of course I'll be your brand's face." He wanted to continue but he was still in awed with Baekhyun.

Baekhyun smiled at him, his biggest supporter. "We are now 20 years old, you're already a successful idol. I'm still going there, maybe will take me, I don't know. Few more years, I'll try. I'll make a name as big as yours. So I can say confidently that I deserve you, I can finally make you mine."

"Silly. I'm yours already." Jongdae tugged Baekhyun's fingers as his sign of disapproval.

Baekhyun frowned and Jongdae didn't miss that. "More people will take interest in you. A better person can come anytime to steal your heart from mine. I really need to make myself worthy for you."

Jongdae noticed that. The way Baekhyun playing with his words around since the start of this conversation, going for somewhere but didn't reach it, yet. "There's something you really want to tell me."

Baekhyun sighed, he really couldn't hide anything from Jongdae. "Ms Kwon..."

Jongdae moved closer towards Baekhyun, it was rare for Baekhyun to hesitate in front of him. "Why? Did she say anything?"

"She offered me to work with her, next year. But I need to follow her to London."

Jongdae literally froze, he could feel the shiver ran through his body as he heard the last word. London. They barely survived Shanghai that came between them in the span of only five days, Baekhyun now threw the word London at him?

Baekhyun panicked as he saw no response from Jongdae. How could he blame Jongdae when he literally froze in front of Ms Kwon too earlier that day. "I kind of want it." Baekhyun admitted, they never lie with each other. "But I want you too. I don't think I can live far from you. No, I can't."

Jongdae was conflicted and Baekhyun could sense it in a heartbeat. "Baek..."

"It's okay, I can achieve my dream here. Longer route but at least I'm here." Baekhyun gave him a smile.

"Baekhyun..."

"Ah, come on, Jongdae! Let's not be sad!" Baekhyun whined as he buried his face on Jongdae's thigh.

But Jongdae knew Baekhyun, he knew him inside out. "Baek, I'm so sorry..."

That was enough to make Baekhyun cried, and Jongdae rubbed his back silently. He hated himself at that time, hated that he became the reason Baekhyun couldn't do something he wanted to do, and hated that he was selfish enough for not telling Baekhyun to just go and achieve his dream.

And he hated himself the most that he was achieving his dream fine but stalling Baekhyun's and he didn't even say a word of it.

* * *

It happened without warning, but then everything always happened without warning. It was a slow damage at first, but then, just like a small pipe leaking could become larger in just a span of a week without a proper treatment, the tense between them somehow became larger with time too. Jongdae would always tried to avoid talking about his preparation for his tour with Baekhyun or anything about his comeback now, chose a safe topic instead since his guilt hung high in the atmosphere with the mere talk of his career alone. Baekhyun looked like he didn't mind it, but Jongdae knew Baekhyun resented him somehow.

The secretary of the CEO of MS Entertainment called Baekhyun some time after that on March, after NSND's world tour ended, told him that the CEO wanted to meet him, which made Baekhyun felt nervous for no reason. Was it about him and Jongdae? Jongdae was in Japan now after wrapping up their latest comeback, for a photoshoot with The Kims, did Jongdae do something wrong there and let their secrets out? They still hid their relationship well, and with the unspoken tense between them, they really didn't hang out much with each other at the agency and only spent those little, little time left in a day at home. They didn't even text and call each other much now, every moves felt like a land mine.

So when Baekhyun knocked on that big door and opened it just to be welcomed by the smiling face of Ms Kwon and the CEO, Baekhyun somehow felt relieved by their friendly smiles. It wasn't about his relationships then but that thought itself made Baekhyun felt nervous again. What was this about?

Ms Kwon gestured for Baekhyun to sit beside her, the wide smile never left her face as Baekhyun nodded and sat on the chair, didn't really know how to begin his words.

"May I know the reason for this meeting, sir?" Baekhyun asked politely to the CEO, Mr Lee.

"Finally I get to meet you, Baekhyun, I'm glad. Ms Kwon here told me something about both of you."

Baekhyun was surprised and turned towards Ms Kwon. "Us? What is it?"

Ms Kwon leaned her body forward. "Mr Lee wanted to continue my contract here but I told him that I wanted to try to be a personal stylist for at least a year and I mentioned that I wanted to bring you too."

Baekhyun nodded slowly, he had no idea that Ms Kwon still offered the same offer and was truly serious about her offer and he still didn't decline her offer even after months since Ms Kwon proposed the idea to Baekhyun. The CEO too, didn't look mad even after Ms Kwon turning down the offer to continue her contract.

"My offer then goes to you, Byun Baekhyun." The CEO said. "After confirmation from the other head stylists that already worked with you and confirmation that you truly have the talents to go further in this fashion industry, I'm offering you a sponsorship to further your study in fashion at London, whichever branch that interest you the most, work together with Kwon Boa here and look carefully how she work. Then make your name known out there. Return to work with us after that as the payback."

Baekhyun literally gasped and he didn't even bother to hide it. He processed the words carefully in his head.

His head, however, provided him with only two words. Jongdae. London. Jongdae. London. Jongdae didn't even care about your dream, Baekhyun but London can give you your dream.

"Starting when?" Baekhyun asked carefully, fighting his thoughts inside.

"Anytime when you're ready." Mr Lee answered, his tone was relaxed.

"But, why me?" Baekhyun finally had the courage to ask the biggest question in his head.

"You're young, Baekhyun. It's still easy to mould you. The trainees here came to learn more how to be an idol, to be moulded into our style. Now that Korea itself ain't enough for them to learn, we send them to experience the world. The same goes to our stylists. You wanted to be a stylist, and if this building is starting to get too small for your talent, there's nothing wrong to send you to experience the world. There's more color there, more open minded world, more new things for you to learn. Korea is too small for your talent. Don't limit yourself, go achieve your dream." Mr Lee answered him with confidence, no bad intentions underneath it.

_Don't limit yourself, go achieve your dream_. Finally. Freaking finally someone said it to him. The words that he knew Jongdae would say to him if they were in another situation but Jongdae was too selfish to throw the words that were there in his head but he didn't say it. And this CEO who never talked with Baekhyun before finally said it naturally in front of his face.

"I accept." Baekhyun suddenly said, surprised by how steady he spoke the two simple words.

"Seriously?" He could hear the excitement in Ms Kwon's tone.

"I can ask my secretary to create the contract anytime if you accept, Baekhyun." Mr Lee added.

"Yes, I accept."

Ms Kwon stood to give him a friendly hug, which Baekhyun kindly accepted and returned back. His supervisor and now soon would be his mentor. Ms Kwon was one of the big name in Korea's entertainment industry as the powerful, creative stylist; and he somehow managed to be her mentee without he even realizing it.

"Just make sure to return him back to us, Boa." Mr Lee joked as he watched the two of them.

"Aww, imagine you have to fight the other agencies for his help later." Ms Kwon joked back.

"Ah, please don't think too highly of me." Baekhyun suddenly added, embarassed that they were joking that way about him when he himself wasn't sure about his ability. Would he manage to make himself known in the big world?

"You'll be fine, Baekhyun. I trust Boa's judgement so I'll trust you." Mr Lee said.

Baekhyun bowed down towards the CEO. "Thank you so much for trusting me."

Ms Kwon patted Baekhyun's shoulder. "So...next month?"

"NSND's world tour is finished and I'm not bounded to any project right now, so next month is okay." Baekhyun answered carefully, still couldn't believe what was happening.

"Next week." Mr Lee suddenly voiced out. "Two of our directors and their staffs will survey some venue for Diamonee's Europe Tour for two weeks starting from London and you can follow them."

Baekhyun started to panic when he heard the word next week and Ms Kwon could sense it. "Next month. Well, next month is just another two weeks from now. He'll fly with me." Ms Kwon replied firmly.

"Okay then, next two weeks. Well, congratulations Baekhyun. My secretary will email you the contract as soon as possible. I guess 2 weeks is enough for you to wrap everything here and pack for London?" Mr Lee stated happily as he extended his hand towards Baekhyun.

It will never be enough to explain this to Jongdae, the back of Baekhyun's mind said it out loud but Baekhyun just shut the thoughts down and shook the CEO's hand. "Thank you so much for this opportunity, sir. I'll make sure not to disappoint you in the future."

"I'll return an awesome stylist to you soon." Ms Kwonwinked at Mr Lee as she exited the room, Baekhyun followed her after bowing down again towards Mr Lee.

Ms Kwon stopped outside of the room and waited for Baekhyun who immediately approached her. Baekhyun looked like he could cry at anytime.

"Come on, Baekhyun, I know you want to shout or something."

"You seriously recommend me to the CEO when I didn't even accept or reject your offer and you expect me not to shout at least after the CEO itself told me to go to London to pursue my dream?" Baekhyun said under one breathe in a panic tone, earning a laugh from Ms Kwon.

"Congratulations, Baekhyun." Ms Kwon said as she rubbed Baekhyun's back.

"You're weird. Mr Lee is weird. How can you guys trust me to do well when all I do is panicking in that room just now?"

"What do you want to eat? My treat since it's such a nice day for both of us."

"Come on, Miss! You didn't even hear me and my panic thoughts out loud!" Baekhyun grabbed Ms Kwon's arm to stop her from walking, the whole situation now slowly entering Baekhyun's mind and settling there to form a realization.

"For a start, you can call me Boa now."

"Boa, I'm on the verge of extreme panic now." Baekhyun said, still didn't let go of Boa's arm. "I'm going to London, enroll to some fashion academy, and learn styling from you personally. Is that what will happen next month?"

Boa smiled at him, finally a person that she could mentor, a person that she saw so many potentials to go forward, who could create so many colors and ideas, not just in makeup, but in outfits and hairs and his talents were limitless. "Yes, Baekhyun."

"We will go to London next two weeks?" Baekhyun asked again.

"Yes. And whatever is holding you from moving forward, you can settle it in these two weeks."

"I wish it's that easy." Baekhyun blurted it out loud, bit his lower lip when he realized what he just said.

Boa just laughed. "Nothing is easy in this life, Baekhyun. Sacrifice is required every day without we even realize it. The bigger the issue, the bigger the sacrifice. And the question is still going to be the same. Will the sacrifice worth it in the end?"

Baekhyun stared at her, the words hit him hard.

"If you're in a relationship now, which I believe you're since you always texting someone, I believe you need to talk it out with the person. Long distance or break it off for some time, anything. Address the issue, don't be toxic." Boa patted Baekhyun's shoulder for reassurance. Young romance was difficult.

"I'll talk with him." Would you, Byun Baekhyun? Would he, when all he wanted now was to run away due to guilt of deciding his future without even discussing with Jongdae first?

"Talk." Boa held Baekhyun's arm before heading to the elevator, leaving Baekhyun with his thoughts.

His thoughts were loud, and he seriously didn't know what to do. He needed to tell Jongdae, that much he knew, but he couldn't face what would happen next. He didn't want to be the person to do the closure, he finally understood Jongdae's feelings when he couldn't even say anything about their situations. It would lead them to the closure, the conclusion. Long distance, break it off for some time, anything; until the end no one was brave enough to say it out loud.

And Baekhyun wasn't a person to give a closure for something that he didn't want to close.

* * *

Jongdae arrived home the next two nights with a dark house. It was midnight, but the darkness was too consuming he felt so stuffy. He could feel the restlessness raising in his body, Baekhyun didn't text him at all for 2 days already. He knew Baekhyun wasn’t as busy as before now that the tour ended, his restlessness created a heavy feelings in his heart since Baekhyun didn't even reply him or call him back.

As he switched on all the necessary lights in the studio apartment, his eyes found a folded note on the dining table. Something told him not to read the note, to just throw it away far, far from his life. But he reached out for it anyway, and unfolded the paper.

_ I'm going for London. _

_ I'll return, somehow, after your dating ban ended maybe, when things are better for me and for you. _

_ I'm sorry. _

Jongdae gripped the chair hard for support before sitting on it, his knees failed to support him anymore. He looked around the apartment, his eyes already teary and he couldn't see properly. Baekhyun's stuffs were still there; the shirts and shoes that he didn't use often were still hung neatly on their racks, the makeup products were still left on the dressing table but then there were only the things that Baekhyun didn't use often.

The t-shirts and slippers that Baekhyun used often were no longer in their places, Baekhyun's toner, moisturizer, creams were no longer there, the small stuffs that marked Baekhyun's existence were no longer there. And Baekhyun's smell no longer lingered in their apartment, replaced by the lavender smell which was supposed to be calming but calm was the last thing Jongdae would described his situation now. He unlocked his phone, tried to call Baekhyun so many times but all of his calls were unanswered.

He should saw this coming, he should saw this beforehand, in the way Baekhyun hesitated in one second during their conversation, in the way Baekhyun's warmth was one degree colder which he thought was due to the AC, in the way Baekhyun no longer looked at him one second longer, in the way Baekhyun's kisses were no longer one centimeter deeper. Jongdae should saw this coming.

Jongdae rushed out of their apartment and ran outside, immediately stopping a taxi that was approaching his position and hopped inside in a hurry. He clumsily gave the driver the address of Baekhyun's house, his parents house, the only place Jongdae knew Baekhyun would stay beside their apartment. He reached there in 20 minutes, and immediately pressed the bell. Panic consumed him, so he repeatitively pressed the bell, didn't even care if he might disturb Baekhyun's parents who were probably already sleeping.

Baekhyun's mother was the one to open the door.

"Mom." He called Baekhyun's mother mom since he was small, but the word somehow felt foreign for him tonight. Jongdae's voice was weak, his tears still didn't stop and he didn't know what words to tell the woman in front of him.

Baekhyun's mother approached Jongdae slowly, before wrapping in a hug, guilt was clear on the woman's face. "Jongdae, I'm so sorry but Baekhyun isn't here..."

"Where is he?" Jongdae asked, didn't know if he could believe Baekhyun's mother now. "Where could he possibly go?"

Baekhyun's mother sighed, she wiped Jongdae's tears carefully as if she was handling a fragile item. "London. He already left for London today."

"Seriously? Without even meeting me first? Seriously?" Jongdae could feel the rage already stirred in him. "Am I even that important to him that he couldn't say it to me even on the phone?"

"You're too important for him that he couldn't face you himself, Jongdae," Baekhyun's mother was on the verge of tears too, she hated to see Jongdae like this. She saw them grew up together, this was no least harder for her.

Jongdae slowly released the hug but still held tight on Baekhyun's mother's arms. He didn't think he could stand properly without anyone's help, he didn't think he could stop shaking with sadness and anger now that he couldn't even talk with Baekhyun. "Call him for me, mom. I know he will pick up your phone. Please call him for me, I really need him."

Tears finally dropped from Baekhyun's mother's eyes, Jongdae suddenly felt bad to force her. "Don't do this to me, Jongdae. Don't let me choose because you know better what I'll choose and it's going to cause bad effects on both of us, dear, please don't." She was shaking, just like Jongdae and Jongdae couldn't stand anymore to hurt the woman that he loved so much, he hugged her back and mouthed sorry so many times, he didn't even know the sorry was for Baekhyun's mother or Baekhyun, or maybe for himself.

Jongdae gathered all of his courage to finally stand up properly while holding Baekhyun's mother's fingers tightly. If there was a love for Baekhyun that he couldn't fight, it would be the love that those fingers he held now had for Baekhyun, the most loyal love Baekhyun could ever had, a mother's love. "If he call you, please tell him I love him. I love him so much, I'll be here if he needs me." Jongdae scoffed at his own words. "And I still love him more than he loves me."

Baekhyun's mother gripped Jongdae's fingers back, full of love and assurance. And guilt. And Jongdae couldn't even blame her for protecting her son, protecting him from Jongdae who didn't treat her son right.

Jongdae retreated slowly, he didn't even looked at Baekhyun's mother for one last time. He was too drown in his sorrow, eyes flooded with tears once again as he sobbed hard, no longer holding back as the realization that Baekhyun was no longer with him hit Jongdae so hard, he couldn't even breathe properly due to his tears and sniffs. His feet dragged him to a house not that far from Baekhyun's neighbourhood, a place that would love him unconditionally too, one knock on the door and the familiar warmth that he loved even before he was born to the world wrapped him in safety was enough for him to survive that harsh night. His heart was crushed, and the warmth collected every fragments of his heart, a promise to mend it back together was spoken by the caress on his back.

Jongdae didn't know another heart was crushed somewhere near him, following him silently in the night, hiding behind the shadows.

Muttering sorry like a prayer, muttering I love you like a vow, muttering I'll be back surely as an oath.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This story started when I accidentally left a baekchen group that I joined, when I woke up too early in the morning, my hands slipped, well, whatever. And because I'm too shy to text the admin to accept me back, I chose to write this angsty stuff instead to release the angst in me lol. I reread it so many times, and I refuse to give baekchen a sad ending because baekchen gives me happiness. Hence, I wrote and wrote and wrote and wrote...


	2. Chapter 2

It was a year after Baekhyun left for London that it happened to Jongdae. Completely unintentional, occurred when he was lounging on his couch at his studio apartment, their studio apartment, finally had a free day for himself. Their latest comeback was delayed, for so many reasons, but somehow this comeback was so successful, they managed to grab 12 wins in music shows. The media said it was a careful planning and preparation, since it took The Kims nearly a year to finally make another comeback. The real reason was a secret among The Kims, which involved so many changes inside the management of The Kims itself.

Jongdae was texting Chanyeol at that time, when suddenly he saw a writing appeared on his left palm. Jongdae immediately dropped his phone, too shock with the sudden appearances of the words.

_ Küçük Ayasofya, 15, Şht. Mehmet Paşa Sk _

The words stopped appearing after a few minutes and stayed there on his palm, didn't even disappear after Jongdae tried to rub it off from his palm. He was too stunned for another minutes before he finally said to himself. "Shit, I'm soulmated." Soulmated. A term for someone who already had his or her soulmate sign or mark. Jongdae's soulmate mark was a writing on the body, a fairly common mark but one of the hardest to be figured out nowadays since everyone had their own handphones to jot down anything in a hurry instead of writing it on palm. And he didn't even understand the words on his palm. It seemed like an address but it wasn't a Korean address, not with all those weird characters.

Jongdae googled the writing on his palm, tried his best to find the weird characters from the keypad. It was an address at Istanbul. Turkey. Jongdae tried to think of anyone that he knew with a connection to Istanbul. None, he didn't even reach Istanbul yet so was his soulmate a foreigner? Not a Korean? His soulmate wasn't...Baekhyun?

Another realization hit him and now it hit him like a train. Baekhyun was not his soulmate, last he heard of Baekhyun that person was still in London. His soulmate was someone who currently at Istanbul now, doing things that even Jongdae had no idea of.

Tears fell from his eyes, knowing that Baekhyun wasn’t his soulmate, but then he guessed it was inevitable. Baekhyun didn’t contact him at all, last was the doomed folded note and that was it. Baekhyun somehow vanished from his life.

Jongdae was in a melange of emotions, happy that he was finally soulmated, sad that Baekhyun wasn’t his soulmate, but he grabbed a pen from his table anyway, out of curiosity. If his soulmate was in Istanbul, was his soulmate a Turkish? Jongdae hesitated for a while, and wrote down _Hi, do you understand English?_ at empty area left on his left palm.

He just kept staring on his palm, and only after 30 minutes passed, that he finally noticed the address had been rubbed away, and another 5 minutes when words slowly appeared on his palm. _Hi, yes, I speak English._ Jongdae sighed, rarely people had a soulmate from different countries and here he was, becoming one of those rarities. Another word started to form before Jongdae could even decide what to reply to his soulmate. _I’m sorry, but I don’t believe in soulmate. _

The absurdity of everything finally crashed down on Jongdae upon reading the words. He believed he would meet his soulmate one day, hell, he believed 100% in the soulmate system, only for his soulmate that he waited for nearly 22 years to throw these words right after he learnt about the person’s existence in less than an hour. Was this his punishment for belittling Baekhyun’s low faith in soulmate system all this time and confidently saying that he was Baekhyun’s soulmate when now he didn’t even really put an effort to reach Baekhyun?

Jongdae just stared at his palm, no longer in the mood to do anything. Chanyeol’s texts was left unread and he didn’t even have the feeling to reply or to pick up his phone back from the floor. He respected people’s views on soulmate system, it was always 50-50 chances of people still believing in the system. Mostly influenced by family, he believed in soulmate because his parents were each other’s soulmate while Baekhyun’s parents weren’t soulmates hence the negative effect of soulmate system on Baekhyun.

While dwelling with his thoughts, the words were rubbed off again, replaced by new words. _I can still be your anonymous friend if you want too. _

Jongdae thought for a while before grabbing his pen back. _Okay, anonymous friend. I’m good with that._ It tickled, both in his heart and on his palm, the way Jongdae decided to be a friend to his soulmate but chose not to disclose their identities towards each other.

And at that time too Chanyeol chose to call him, he knew it was the tall guy, Jongdae set a special ringtone for Chanyeol, who somehow managed to become a big part of him in the last 12 months. “Can you be patient for a while, it’s not like everyday I can have a whole day to myself.”

“That’s why I asked to move in with you, it’s easier to manage you if we live under the same roof.” Chanyeol joked. “Seriously, do you want to take the OST offer or no?”

Jongdae stared at his left palm, it still felt weird. Oh. OST. If he took the offer, that would be his first solo project outside of The Kim’s.

“Jongdae, are you there? If you’re there please know that Choi PD doesn’t mind if you take this offer so please stop thinking too much about it and just say yes.”

Jongdae smiled at Chanyeol’s words. “I’m still here. And yes, okay, I’ll meet the drama’s producer and the songwriter first to see if I can sing according to what they want. So you better find a time for me to meet them ASAP.” He had to remove the phone from his ear for a good few seconds since Chanyeol was shouting happily.

That’s the good thing of having a manager with the same age, Jongdae thought to himself. Chanyeol was officially promoted to be his manager, he and Jongin to be specific, just a few months ago, due to a conflict with previous managers. Kyungsoo was promoted together with Chanyeol to be their manager, his serious behavior deemed good enough to manage both Minseok and Junmyeon despite being younger than them.

“This is nice, Jongdae. Jongin got a call from Gucci to be auditioned as one of their models for the next runway and now, you. Your solo activities are starting now and I feel so glad we managed to pull through these last few months.” Chanyeol nearly sobbed with happiness.

Jongdae grinned to himself happily, prior to these Minseok was accepted as radio DJ for a midnight show, the one that he loved so much, and Junmyeon was casted for a drama, finally debuted as an actor, in fact as a main lead. “Finally everyone have more to put in their resume besides The Kims.”

Chanyeol was silent for a while before decided to just say it anyway. “Baekhyun too. He just opened an Instagram account. This morning, a picture with Ms Kwon. Thought you might want to check. The username is mybyunbh.”

Jongdae gripped his phone too hard. My Byun. Only Jongdae called him that, a nickname he used for Baekhyun. His only Byun. “You know I don’t have any SNS account, Yeol. Don’t care if he opened one anyway.” It was a total lie and Chanyeol could even sense it through the phone. Chanyeol knew about them, knew about the breakup, knew how broken Jongdae because of the breakup. Jongdae never forget Baekhyun, Jongdae still inhaled Baekhyun’s name in his body even though the guy was no longer in Korea.

“You still can check even though you don’t have an account,” Chanyeol replied.

“If he’s happy with Ms Kwon and whatever they’re doing right now then who am I to stop his happiness.” Jongdae sighed, he looked sadly at his palm. It was a good thing too, his brain processed, since he was still in a dating ban to even think about his soulmate. Or Baekhyun. He didn’t have the liberty to do so.

“Okay then, whatever you say. I’m hanging up, I’ll arrange your meeting with the drama producer soon. Rest well!” Chanyeol said as he ended the phone call.

Jongdae put his phone on the table after turning it off, decided that he had enough for that day. He glanced at his palm, had a new writings on his palm.

_ Can we check at which part of our body the writings will appear too? _

Another writings appeared, packed and small since there was no more space on the palm.

_ I’m required to paint a lot and usually will splash on my body. _

A painter? His soulmate was a painter?

Jongdae wrote _yes_ on his thumb, wasn’t in the mood to make anything harder for both of them.

They tried everywhere; on face, on chest, on stomach, on leg, at the back.

And that day Jongdae confirmed that he wad soulmated, with visible writings of anything that his soulmate wrote from fingertips until elbow on both arms would also appeared on him and vice versa, as the soulmate sign.

And he also learnt that his soulmate truly had no intention to pursue a relationship with him.

* * *

A year turned into two years, two years turned into four, and somehow time moved as usual for Jongdae, that now was the fifth year without Baekhyun. The Kims was now a big name all over the world, the Kpop group with four handsome men, with voices like angels. Not that Jongdae wanted to ask the reporters if they ever listened to a real angel’s voice.

All four of them were powerful names in Korea, everyone knew them individually and as a group. And Jongin. Jongin was extraordinary, the top model that could sing, dance and rap, with appointments here and there, Chanyeol already bought a new organizer solely for Jongin. Jongdae would just laughed at how busy Chanyeol because of Jongin, always reminded Chanyeol that he could go for his solo schedule alone if it clashed with Jongin’s schedule since Jongdae’s solo and group activities were all about singing and singing alone. He didn’t venture into other fields like the rest of the Kims, comfortable enough to dedicate his life solely for singing and recordings, knew the processes so well like the back of his hand, that he didn’t need a manager to accompany him.

“You can’t even buy a cup of coffee without those sasaengs trying to approach you, and you think you can live without me?” Jongdae just shrugged whenever Chanyeol reminded him of sasaengs and stalkers. Jongdae didn’t have a fond memory with those people. “Least I can do is ask Sehun to accompany you if I can’t make it, please just don’t go outside alone often!”

And Sehun somehow did become Jongdae’s second manager even though that guy was younger than the members.

The Kims were in the practice room when the news traveled inside the agency that midnight. They were still on tour, just celebrating their sixth anniversary as The Kims last week, and the meeting for their latest comeback would be held anytime soon so they really had no time to play around. Taeyong, the unofficial Kyungsoo’s assistant entered the room with such a big eyes, everyone knew the boy had the latest gossip to spill. The Kims were literally lying on the floor, too exhausted after 3 hours of practicing their dances and perfecting the choreography.

“That famous Korean stylist! Byun Baekhyun! I heard from the coordinators that he will arrive in Korea tomorrow!” Taeyong said excitedly, joined the others sitting on the floor.

Jongdae literally freeze, becoming one with the floor while he digesting the information. Baekhyun never came back to Korea in these 5 years, not that he knew of. Even Baekhyun’s family could only meet him oversea, that was what Baekhyun’s mother told him. “No one knows why, but it seems like he’s coming with that hot Chinese model, Zhang Yixing! That’s quite a bold statement if you ask me!” Taeyong continued, so eager to gossip.

And that was another problem with the topic of Byun Baekhyun. Only The Kims, Chanyeol and Kyungsoo knew about Baekhyun’s history with Jongdae, the senior staffs that already around when Baekhyun was still working with the agency thought that Baekhyun and Jongdae were best friends and nothing else.

Chanyeol, always the savior of the day, replied carefully. “Maybe for work? Or short holiday? They never said they’re an item after all.”

Jongdae could feel the headache sitting on his brain already, he wasn't ready for this conversation. It was still hard to live without flinching whenever he saw Baekhyun's face in the internet or billboard, to make it worst, there was one big billboard with Baekhyun's face opposite of his apartment recently since the grand opening of the Korea’s branch of his brand would be held soon, which also looked like mocking him, yes Jongdae, I finally made it worldwide without you. And now Baekhyun chose to come to Korea, with a hot model?

He rolled closer to where Chanyeol sat, found solace in hiding his face at Chanyeol's waist who was quick to understand Jongdae's restlessness.

"Yixing is that pizza model right? I'm starving for some pizza actually! Want some pizza?" Chanyeol cleverly changed the topic, Jongdae could worship Chanyeol's waist right there as a sign of thank you.

Minseok and Junmyeon quickly shouted yes, too tired to continue their practice without food, and their conversations changed into small talks about their next concert.

Chanyeol quickly texted Sehun to buy some pizza since Sehun was already on his way back to the agency, finalizing some stuffs about transportations in Olympic Stadium, the next venue for The Kims' tour. He raised a brow at Jongdae, their non verbal communication was strong, and Jongdae shook his head, telling Chanyeol that he was okay.

Sehun was quick to arrive 20 minutes later in the practice room, with boxes of pizza which thankfully wasn't the one that Zhang Yixing endorsed. All of them was quick to grab a slice or maybe two, practice always made them tired beyond words. Sehun sat beside Jongdae, unlocked his phone and scrolling on his KakaoTalk, tried to find a particular conversation in the chatroom.

"Jongdae, Jeon PD wants to meet you about that movie OST, something about finalized lyrics." He let Jongdae read the conversation, "Isn't this cafe that he proposed to meet at situated just opposite of your place? You can meet him there first before going to the agency." Sehun suggested.

Jongdae nodded while thinking, the restaurant was indeed located opposite of his apartment, the building with Baekhyun's face was hung proudly mocking him. "When is the meeting? I'll go alone then if it's just a meeting on a cafe."

Chanyeol held Sehun's handphone, wanted to read the conversation too. "That's the day where we are going to have the concept meeting for your latest comeback. Can you change the meeting to someday else, Sehun?"

"That's the problem, Jeon PD will join the crew for shooting, abroad, that early morning is the only time he's free to meet Jongdae." Sehun sighed, it was hard enough to arrange Jongdae's schedule as it was now, he really didn't want to change the schedule anymore.

Jongdae noticed Sehun's conflicted face, feeling sorry for the younger man. "If it's a concept meeting then the crucial thing is usually on the second half of the meeting. I can meet Jeon PD at 8am or maybe earlier, then I'll head straight to the agency for the concept meeting. Is it okay if we do it like that?"

Chanyeol thought for a while, he was more experienced in this compared to Sehun, and he slowly nodded and gave a thumbs up. "Try to make your meeting with Jeon PD compact and short. He tends to talk a lot when he's with you." Chanyeol said.

"I'm that charming, what can I do about it?" Jongdae smiled at Chanyeol and earned a groan from the taller guy.

"That settled it then, I'll inform him that you'll meet him at 8 am." Sehun said happily, always relieved that Jongdae was so easy to manage, and a very considerate human being despite his status as one of the best vocalist in Korea.

Jongdae smiled at Sehun fondly, it was nice to watch Sehun pouted, struggling to arrange his words formally in the textbox.

"Chanyeol doesn't even bother to text any PDs formally now, those PDs are the one that needed to text him formally." Jongdae joked as he took another bite of the pizza.

"You should read Kyungsoo's text then. So short and scary, even the higher ups have no guts to contradict his words."

Kyungsoo who sat at the corner quickly glared at Chanyeol which made him flinched. "We're managing superstars here, there's no time to joke around the words."

Jongdae blinked, it felt weird to be called as superstar by their own manager when they knew The Kims were just normal people too behind the camera.

"Superstar, supermodel. We're the super manager indeed." Chanyeol rubbed his neck. "What's the latest concept that you guys will propose anyway? Still thinking?"

"We already gave Mr Lee a few suggestions." Junmyeon answered. "It's the last comeback before we're deciding either to renew the contract or not too, so we're thinking of something big this time."

The whole room fell silent after that. The last comeback before discussing about the new contract. The last one year with the dating ban. The crucial seventh year for any idols in Korea, the last lap towards a steady career for life.

"We shouldn't think too much anyway, just enjoy whatever the route will lead us. We're doing so well now, don't let the uncertainties of the future make us waver." Minseok voiced out, like the leader he always be. "The higher ups already chosen the crews for our next comeback too, some are the previous staffs, some are new, so let's not give them too many problem for this comeback."

Everyone in the room nodded. Crew change was inevitable no matter how comfortable they were with the current staffs, and with MS Entertainment now had so many big names under their buildings, everyone somehow wishing for the best staffs.

"Let's do our best guys. Come on! Our stomachs are already full. Let's continue our practice!" Minseok clapped cheerfully as he stood up and started to stretch.

Jongdae could feel himself relaxed too. He had The Kims, he had their managers.

This seventh year would be okay.

* * *

It was the day of the concept meeting, all of The Kims except for Jongdae, already on the big meeting room, sitting in one row as always during big meeting like this with that big oval table since the executives would usually sit opposite of them. Some executives and producers already arrived, making small talks with the members. Kyungsoo, Chanyeol and Sehun were there too, sitting besides The Kims since they were the managers, would heavily involve with The Kims so it was for the best for the managers to know the next plan for The Kims. They were waiting for more people to arrive, and mostly the CEO, Mr Lee to finally start the meeting. Some faces never work with The Kims before, so Minseok was kind enough to talk with them first.

It seemed like everybody was already there when Mr Lee finally appeared with his secretary. And a young man. A very confident young man which face earned a loud gasp from Chanyeol. Kyungsoo was quick to pinch Chanyeol's arm so that he wouldn't be too obvious with his reactions.

Byun Baekhyun. That Byun Baekhyun was in the same room with them, who politely bowed down towards the people in the room and walked towards the available empty seat, which happened to be opposite of Kyungsoo. Thank God it was Kyungsoo, the man with the stoic face. Imagine if it was Chanyeol, it would be a disaster to watch.

"Everyone is here? Ah. I don't see Jongdae. Where is he?" Mr Lee asked immediately after he sat on the big chair, deserved for him only.

"He got a meeting with one of the music producer for the movie April." Sehun immediately answered. "He will arrive soon, the meeting shouldn't take too long."

Mr Lee nodded. "Alone? That guy surely can do anything."

"The meeting place is just in front of his apartment so he said it's okay for him to go alone." Sehun hung his head low out of guilty.

"It's okay, Sehun. That's Jongdae that we know." Mr Lee then gestured for his secretary to start the presentation. "Let's start the meeting then. Before that, I want to introduce a new face, not that I think he needs any introduction," Mr Lee paused as he smiled towards Baekhyun. "We managed to successfully snatch him, finally, from the western world. He will be the concept advisor and head stylist hence the stylist supervisor for your next comeback, Byun Baekhyun." Mr Lee pointed respectfully at Baekhyun.

Baekhyun quickly stood up and bowed down again, "I'm Byun Baekhyun, nice to meet you again. Looking forward to work with you guys soon." He said politely before took his seat once again.

Minseok and Junmyeon politely nodded at Baekhyun as a form of respect while Jongin was a second too late to react before nodding too, quickly changed his surprise face to a friendly face. Kyungsoo smiled at Baekhyun, but under the table he already pinched Chanyeol again who openly gaped at Baekhyun. Sehun was too oblivious to understand what was going on, in awed that the famous Baekhyun would work with them soon. Chanyeol was already in some panic as he quickly texted Jongdae in the group chat of The Kims + The Managers, trying to be as discreet as he could while typing under the table when Mr Lee already started to talk again.

_ Jongdaeeeeeee _

_ Red alert, red alert! _

_ Baekhyun is here! _

_ Baekhyun! _

_ Byun Baekhyun! _

Minseok, Junmyeon, Jongin and Kyungsoo who usually put their already in silent mode handphones on the table during a meeting were all alerted by the sudden nonstop vibrations of messages while Sehun's phone which he still kept inside his jeans' pocket, hence he forgot to silent his phone was ping with a lot of notifications.

"Sorry." Sehun quickly fished out his phone and put it on silent mode while reading the notifications.

"All of you got the notifications." Mr Lee said, interested. "Anything happen?"

"No, sir. Just reports from one of our crews." Minseok quickly save the day, as he read the messages, tried his best to act natural.

Baekhyun noticed all of their reactions just now, and he didn't feel at ease at all with how the six people sat in front of him with poker faces, tried their best to stay focus in the meeting.

Sehun was confused with Chanyeol's messages so he discreetly typed his replies.

_ Baekhyun? _

_ Why Baekhyun is a red alert? _

_ And why Jongdae haven't read the texts yet? _

_ Where is Jongdae? _

All of them were already keeping their handphones in their own hands now, even Kyungsoo was uncomfortable with the situation now.

_ Chanyeol quickly typed again. _

_ I'm sorry Jongdae but red alert requires quick responses! _

_ Baekhyun is Jongdae's ex, Sehun! _

_ You need to know that now! _

"What?" Sehun said out loud, eyes big as he looked at Chanyeol out of disbelief, halting everyone in the meeting room. Jongin already coughing out of panic now.

"Any problem there, Sehun? Chanyeol?" Mr Lee eyed at them suspiciously.

"No, sir. Just a problem with the logistics. We'll sort it out later, sorry." Sehun bowed down his head apologetically, but eyes still big, nearly as big as Chanyeol's as they tried to communicate nonverbally with their eyes.

Kyungsoo's text came next.

_ Sehun, Baekhyun is Jongdae's ex, we will explain to you later. _

_Jongdae_ _isn't_ _replying_ _us._

_ Try text him personally, Sehun. _

Sehun exhaled deeply as he read Kyungsoo's texts. He opened the chatroom with Jongdae only, and sent a few messages asking his current location. But none of the messages were delivered.

_ We're dead. _

_ His phone is probably dead. _

_ The texts aren't delivered. _

All six of them sighed heavily at the same time.

* * *

Jongdae just finished his meeting with Jeon PD, who thankfully offered Jongdae a ride to MS Entertainment's office building after Jongdae told him that he would take a taxi since his manager wasn't there with him today. Jongdae totally forgot to charge his phone last night, he woke up pretty late with his phone left with only 5% of battery, and now that he talked with Jeon PD for an hour and more, his handphone was totally knocked out now. Not that he worried much since the others were already in the meeting now and usually there was nothing important to deliver on phone since the important thing was being discussed in the meeting room now.

Jeon PD was a very warm person, he even offered to stop by at Jongdae's favorite bubble tea shop so that Jongdae could buy two cups for them and Jongdae wasn't the type to turn down a good conversation in the car so he just put his phone away, trusting that there was nothing terrible happening now, enjoying his conversation with Jeon PD and his bubble tea.

After he thanked Jeon PD for the lift and exited the car, he quickly fixed his beanie. Summer air was blasting the heat mercilessly, Jongdae didn't really prefer to go out during summer since it was harder to disguise under thick clothes during summer, too tricky and sweaty. He quickly entered the building, mask on his face, since some of the fans loved to hang out at the lobby area just to get a glimpse of their favorite idols. He quickly walked towards the elevator area which were guarded by security. Jongdae scanned his items and himself, before the guard gave him permission to enter the elevator area. He waved at the fans before grabbing his belongings and his cup of bubble tea again, a favorite that he learned to love since he tasted it during their tour at Taiwan.

The elevator was quick to send him to Level 14, where the meeting room was situated. He walked out hurriedly, but suddenly pausing his steps. He didn't feel good enough, something passed his vision, suddenly sharpened but in just a glance. A dejavu? Jamais vu? He couldn't decide.

The receptionist of the level noticed him and gave her friendliest smile, "The meeting already started an hour ago, Mr Kim. Mr Lee's secretary informed me that you would come anytime soon and to lead you there." The worker said as she gestured for Jongdae to follow her. Jongdae smiled back and followed her. As they reached the door to the meeting room, she bowed down politely and walked back towards her table.

Jongdae bowed down too, quickly removing his beanie and mask, then folded them neatly before putting them inside his jeans' pocket. He knocked on the door, a confident yes, enter could be heard from the other side of the room so he quickly turned the knob, a smile was on his face as he pushed the door open.

But the smile quickly vanished after he took a quick glance of the people inside the meeting room, and found an extremely familiar pair of eyes.

Eyes that he missed so much.

Jongdae's vision sharpened again, but it sharpened too much, it sharpened to that eyes only. Byun Baekhyun's eyes. It looked confident, but Jongdae could feel, no, he could probably grab the timidity in Baekhyun's eyes. He stared at those eyes, had no idea what his eyes could probably give away right no. 100% surprise, yes; timidity? No, Jongdae didn't have that in him now. Confident? Baekhyun just shattered that, together with his current bearing.

Nearly 5 years, and Jongdae had no idea how to react with Baekhyun. Nearly 5 years, and Jongdae had no idea how many seconds had passed since he found Baekhyun's eyes. Seconds? Minutes? Hours? Did the world stop now? He had no idea.

Nearly 5 years and the only thing Jongdae knew was that Byun Baekhyun was still the person that had his heart.

His already soulmated heart.


	3. Chapter 3

The last time Jongdae saw Baekhyun blood and flesh, Baekhyun was someone with black hair, no chemicals treated on his hair. Black sweater, Jongdae confirmed it was a black sweater since Baekhyun loved to wear that black sweater during spring. With black jeggings, Baekhyun loved to wear that jeggings. Easy to move, felt like his second skin. He waved Jongdae with a small smile on his face, since Jongdae would depart to Japan soon and of course Baekhyun couldn't send him off due to work and Jongdae's status as an idol.

But that wasn't the last image of Baekhyun that Jongdae could see on media. Byun Baekhyun, the famous makeup artist who somehow no longer did makeup for artist, only himself, was literally everywhere on the internet. The owner of Prive Cosmetics, which already made various collaborations with big names; singers, actresses, actors. Named it, everyone knew Prive Cosmetics which face was Byun Baekhyun himself.

And the same eyes that always stared at his apartment 24/7 was now staring at him. Different but same. Here was Byun Baekhyun, with platinum hair which somehow made Baekhyun a level higher than everyone else in that room, nearly royalty, nearly untouchable. His hair was longer than usual but well kept, true to his image as a worldwide stylist. No longer skinny, with more muscles in his body but his face somehow still with the same baby fat. Baekhyun no longer with a black sweater, but a satin black shirt, probably tucked in, Jongdae had no idea since he couldn't see his lower body-

"Jongdae!" Chanyeol suddenly shouted, earned a gasp from Jongdae.

Jongdae's vision finally returned back to normal, as he finally noticed Mr Lee, his secretary, the executives, producers, supervisors, directors, Minseok, Junmyeon, Jongin, Kyungsoo, Chanyeol, Sehun. Wait. Were they really in the room just now? Jongdae's shock face suddenly met Chanyeol's panic one, and the attention of the whole room suddenly fell on the two of them.

"You scared me..." Jongdae said weakly, as he put his bubble tea on the nearest surface available, which happened to be the unoccupied area of that meeting table, and tried to regain his bearing back. _You're in a meeting room, Jongdae, you're in a meeting room._

"Your phone! Charge your phone!" Chanyeol blurted out again, Kyungsoo nearly facepalm himself right there. "Here, charger!" Chanyeol clumsily searched for his charger before Kyungsoo pushed him his own charger, mouthed _Jongdae uses iPhone, you idiot. _

Chanyeol quickly approached Jongdae who was still standing at his place with the charger, finally able to breathe properly. Jongdae exhaled deeply before bowing down to the rest of the people there, "I'm Kim Jongdae, nice to meet you. I'm so sorry I came in so late since I've a meeting that I couldn't avoid."

It was so sudden that Chanyeol, who already stood beside Jongdae, had no choice but to bow down too. Kyungsoo already sighed for ten times in one minute, it took all in him not to leave the meeting room right at that moment.

"It's okay, Jongdae. We're just starting to get to the serious part." Mr Lee smiled at him. "Do you guys need a moment? Chanyeol seems too keen for you to charge your phone there."

"Ah, yes, thank you. I really need to talk with Chanyeol for a moment. Please continue, don't mind us." Jongdae said as he grabbed Chanyeol's arm, dragging him to the corner of that meeting room since there was one available plug there. Both of them squatted there, Jongdae plugging his phone to the charger.

"Why you didn't charge your phone? Why you didn't bring your powerbank?" Chanyeol whispered angrily as he slapped Jongdae's knee.

"I'm sorry but I usually didn't charge my phone since you or Sehun will be there for me? Today was totally out of norm for me to attend the meeting alone so of course I didn't count the abnormalities?" Jongdae whispered back as his phone came back to life and.....

The ping of notifications came nonstop on his phone, loud and clear and probably more than twenty, no, definitely more than twenty, since it took forever for that ping to finally stop, which made the meeting halted again to focus on the two of them.

Jongdae could only gaped at the amount of notifications, and the only few words he could read in that fast changes of notifications were _Baekhyun, Jongdae's ex, Jongdaeeeeee, Baekhyunnn, Baekhyunnnnnn_. Jongdae then looked at Chanyeol and eyed his members and managers, who apparently weren't focus at all after the meeting started since they managed to gossip about Jongdae's love life in their groupchat this whole hour.

"Both of you okay?" Mr Lee peek at them from his chair.

Jongdae couldn't even react so Chanyeol quickly answered, "Yes, Sir. Jongdae just forget to turn off the notifications for The Kims' Twitter account."

Save. That was one of the lovely thing about Chanyeol that made Kyungsoo decided to keep him as one of The Kims' manager, Chanyeol was quick to save the day.

Mr Lee just nodded and continued the meeting as usual, leaving them both back to their battle of whispers.

"What is he doing here?" Jongdae quickly whispered the biggest question on his mind.

Chanyeol looked at Jongdae for a second before whispering back, "He is our stylist, and concept advisor."

"Huhhh?" Jongdae no longer whispering, nearly shouted the word, and again, the attention back on them.

"What happened there?" Mr Lee asked again.

"Jongdae...Jongdae is shock that you suggested him to rap for this comeback!" Chanyeol answered in a hurry.

Save. Kyungsoo convinced now they need a Park Chanyeol to balance their already chaotic team.

Jongdae made another face at Chanyeol, couldn't decide anymore what to do with the sudden flood of information.

"Why don't you guys return to the table, we can discuss this properly." Mr Lee suggested, fell to Chanyeol's trap.

Chanyeol stood first, as he grabbed Jongdae's arm to pull him. Both of them approached the table, Kyungsoo already stood up to give his seat to Jongdae so that Jongdae could hear Mr Lee better.

"No, it's okay, Kyungsoo. I'll sit beside Sehun, I need to reschedule something with him fast before I forget the details." Jongdae said quickly to Kyungsoo, already pulled the chair beside Sehun.

If Baekhyun was hurted that Jongdae seemed like he didn't want to sit in front of him, he hid it well.

"It's only one of the suggestions, Jongdae, since the fans haven't listen to you rapping yet but your vocal teacher told me that you can rap well." Mr Lee started and Kyungsoo silently thanked again that Jongdae had a very quick concentration ability, compared to the tall guy beside him who was still unfocused and breathing way too loudly.

The meeting went surprisingly well, despite the constant glances threw at Jongdae by his members and mostly Chanyeol, but Jongdae was handling fine on his seat, with Sehun's warmth beside him and his cup of bubble tea. Baekhyun didn't talk much, just a few nods and yes to show that he understood what was going on, and only when the meeting finally arrived at the styling section that Baekhyun finally let out his full aura.

"I don't have much problem with the points that are stated in this handout and I can only give my opinions and input when the concept is finalized later," he referred to the meeting handout which was distributed to everyone of them, "But there are two points here I want a clarification." Baekhyun asked, his tone was serious that he got everyone's attention right away.

"Point no 6, all of The Kims will wear a soulmate band throughout the whole promotion and tour period, the accessory will not be removed under any circumstances." He paused. "May I ask why?" His eyes found Minseok's.

Soulmate band. A large strip around the wrist, created to hide any soulmate sign or mark, for various reasons. And The Kims weren't allowed to date, so to let the fans knew if they were soulmated or not was a large risk for themselves and for their popularities.

"Someone in The Kims is soulmated. One or more, I chose not to disclose, but I can guarantee you there's one member here who is soulmated, and with a mark on his wrist. And that member chose to not disclose his soulmate status." Minseok answered calmly. "To make things easier and less weirder for the member, all of us decided to wear the band, including our managers, if you haven't realize it yet."

Baekhyun took a second to observe all of them, some were wearing sweater so it wasn't visible to the eyes, some wore it proudly like Sehun, who waved his left wrist at Baekhyun's direction. And Baekhyun knew all of The Kims wore the band, it started probably 3 years ago during their comeback, when all of them wore it religiously and never once removed it until today. He knew the answer, but to finally hear the answer directly from The Kims itself was a bit too much for him. What if Jongdae already soulmated?

"I see...Okay, I respected that and I'll bear in mind to make the soulmate band compulsory for you guys." Baekhyun jotted down on his handout, Jongdae only observed him silently.

"And...Point no 12. Kim Jongdae will only have his personal stylists with him to do the styling work and no one else, be it in makeup, outfit, hair, and anything regarding styling. No new or outside stylist will be assigned for Kim Jongdae." Baekhyun stared straight at Jongdae's eyes. "May I know why?"

“That, Baekhyun, I’m afraid is a decision made by all the higher ups and not only Jongdae.” Mr Lee replied fast, didn’t even give Jongdae a time to reply. “It’s for a reason known to the higher ups and certain people only, and I’ll appreciate it if you respect our demand on that. After all, better to work with familiar faces, right?”

Mr Lee’s tone was calm, but Baekhyun could taste the danger in his words, forbidding Baekhyun to ask further about the issue. “Very well. No new stylist for Kim Jongdae.” Baekhyun concluded his part.

* * *

The meeting finished some time during afternoon, and Mr Lee invited them to a lunch buffet which was already prepared by the company. Jongdae literally dragged Chanyeol to walk beside him, afraid of anyone else to walk next to him, anyone meaning a certain Byun Baekhyun.

“Seriously Jongdae, he’ll think that you’re soulmated to me now with the way you’re behaving with me for today.” Chanyeol whispered as they circled the room for the food selections.

Jongdae just shrugged, knew Chanyeol meant well when Sehun suddenly sandwiched him with Chanyeol. “You seriously need to explain me something, I manage you more than Chanyeol now, Jongdae.”

Jongdae made a face, it wasn’t easy to stand in the middle of two extremely tall men.

“You’re his ex? We passed by so many billboard of his and you didn’t even have the intention to drop me that fact?” Sehun whispered low enough for only the three of them to hear.

Jongdae sighed, he filled his plate with food and looked at Sehun. “Yes, I don’t have the intention.”

“You should tell me! I’m totally caught off guard just now!” Sehun led Jongdae to an empty table, Chanyeol followed silently too. “Imagine my minor heart attack when Chanyeol sent that messages.”

“Don’t tell us it’s only a small matter, Jongdae, because you’re clearly not okay now.” Chanyeol added, he took the seat beside Jongdae while Sehun sat opposite of Jongdae. Jongin suddenly joined the table for four, eyes gleamed with excitement.

“Oh, come on! I know you guys are gossiping now.” Jongin said when he saw the other three staring at him.

Jongdae sighed, he tried to cut the meat as calm as he could. “I was surprised. I don’t know how to react now that he suddenly appears in front of me. Just that. Nothing personal.” Chanyeol scoffed, totally not buying anything that Jongdae said.

“Look at him, so friendly with Minseok and Junmyeon. Even Kyungsoo is so sweet to acknowledge an old friend.” Chanyeol gestured at the said guys with his fork, they were sitting on the same table. “I thought you’re the best friend before, not the three of them?”

“Go sit with them if you want to.” Jongdae replied bitterly.

Chanyeol tried his best to tolerate Jongdae, he did. “Try to start a decent conversation? How are you is a good phrase for any situation, Jongdae.”

“You seriously want me to ask him how are you after he left me like that?”

“Holy! Seriously? Baekhyun dumped Jongdae?” Sehun asked, nearly dropped his fork on the table.

Jongdae kicked Sehun under the table, leaned forward to whisper it clearly. “I’m not! I don’t know! It was messy.”

“We can talk for hours about this, Sehun.” Jongin voiced out.

“And days. And you’ll understand and connect everything.” Chanyeol added.

Jongdae just stared at Sehun who was staring back at him, curiousity overflowed from his eyes. Not that he wanted to hide anything from Sehun, he just didn’t see the point to suddenly tell Sehun about his love stories before. And now that they would literally working with Baekhyun, it was fair to tell Sehun everything about the past.

Jongdae bit his lip, felt the bitterness even before he spoke out the words. “We were a couple, long before we joined the agency. It hurts because we were together for a long time, I guess.”

“Reason for the break up?” Sehun asked curiously.

“Jobs. Dreams. And probably my dating ban.”

Sehun made a face, “Come on, I’m sure at least 30% of MS’s idols are dating in secret.”

“It’s that your dreams or mine issue,” Jongdae rephrased himself. Whenever he thought back about their breakup, that was the main reason he chose to blame on. But there was also unspoken stress whenever they couldn’t act like a normal couple in public, when they had to act like best friend forever when all they wanted to do was kiss each other’s skin shamelessly.

“I only knew after they broke up. You aren’t close with us too at that time. But Jongin knew it inside out.” Chanyeol tried to give a better picture of that time to Sehun.

“Jongdae is an important part of me. Of course I need to protect him.” Jongin defended himself. The breakup costed a lot on Jongdae, he was thankful that his members were there for him.

“So...5 years? 5 years already passed but why are both of you look like you haven’t over each other?” Sehun asked, eyes wandering around Baekhyun’s table. “He keeps on glancing at me or maybe Chanyeol, I feel uncomfortable.”

Jongdae stopped eating, too tempted to look at Baekhyun’s direction but at the same time his neck refused to cooperate for that day.

“Maybe he falls for either one of us now. He looks at us but not Jongdae.” Chanyeol said nonchalantly, Jongdae nearly choked on his food.

“Agreed. He should pick a tall guy as a life partner. More reliable.” Sehun said, earned another kick from Jongdae. “What? You’re eating with 3 men that are at least 8cm taller than you, one is a supermodel if you forgot about that, obviously the attention is on us and not you!” Sehun whined.

“I hate all of you.” Jongdae shoved his fork angrily on the meat, then Chanyeol put his arm around Jongdae’s shoulder.

“Oh my god, he’s smiling at me.” Chanyeol said happily, just to irritate Jongdae’s already foul mood.

“Please, you’re his friend already.”

“Can I not take any side then if I’m his friend too?”

“I never stop you from talking with him.”

Chanyeol smirked evilly. “Maybe I can try to make a move on him? I heard he is not too keen on soulmate system too, right?”

“What makes you think he’ll like you?” Jongdae spatted back.

“Holy, Jongdae.” Chanyeol grinned at him. “Do you think he still likes you?”

“Seriously. You guys are the worst.” Jongdae really had enough. The idea of Baekhyun no longer had any feelings for him, the idea that Baekhyun would really flirt at another person in front of him, the idea that he had absolutely no control anymore on Baekhyun. All of the ideas were too much for him. And now, even to breathe in the same room with Baekhyun felt too much for him. He wiped his mouth and stood, the other three looked at him.

“You’re done? That’s quick.” Jongin asked innocently.

“Going for an air.” Jongdae replied, Jongin was too sweet to receive or feel any of his frustrations now. “I’m not in the mood to send the executives back properly, can you cover for me, Jongin?”

“Consider it done.” Jongin smiled at him reassuringly.

“Turn on your location, Jongdae.” Sehun reminded him.

“Please, I’m just going to walk around this building. “You can finish my food, Yeol. I’m done.”

“Come back soon.” Chanyeol patted Jongdae’s back, knew it was too much in a day for Jongdae.

Jongdae exited the room and quickly went for the elevator. The elevator arrived and he stepped in, punched the button immediately. There was one place that gave him solace, always that place whenever there were too many things on his mind. The elevator arrived on the instructed level, and he stepped out to the wardrobe level.

He went for The Kim’s’ wardrobe room. The room now was crowded with clothes, it felt like stepping into a high class boutique, but Jongdae felt warmth by looking at the various colours, various materials. Each outfit meant a certain memories in his career, and he felt peace in those memories. There was no one there, majority of their crews were already at the stadium since their concert would be held tomorrow.

There was a stair in that room, which built like a duplex, and that upper level was filled with sponsored clothes that weren’t sorted yet. And that was where Baekhyun worked often during their early days as juniors in that agency, sorting clothes according to brand and concept.

Jongdae walked towards a corner, and slowly sat on the floor, hiding behind the rack of long jackets. The members and the managers knew his habit, a habit he formed after his breakup, a place he returned to whenever he couldn’t breathe because of the pain in his heart, or literally when he couldn’t breathe. The place where only air from the AC flew consistently, but Jongdae could feel like a garden with fresh air whenever he sat at this place.

Probably 15 minutes passed with Jongdae literally meditating on the corner when two familiar voices approaching the room from outside, Jongdae literally freeze on his spot. “I’m glad you still remember the map of this building.” Kyungsoo’s voice was calm but clear, and the door was opened.

“This building is my life for 2 years, Kyungsoo. Of course I remember.” Baekhyun’s voice joined and their footsteps around the room could be heard clearly. Kyungsoo was bringing Baekhyun for a tour around the building, apparently, from their conversations.

The room was silent to begin with, and Kyungsoo wasn’t a talkative human to add into the factor, so Baekhyun didn’t really talk. In that silence, Jongdae could trace every breathe that Baekhyun took, every small gasp and awe from Baekhyun’s mouth. It was too much, everything was too much.

“Baekhyun, think you can make it to the makeup room yourself? I need to make a phone call first, sorry.” Kyungsoo asked kindly.

Baekhyun laughed, “Of course, Kyungsoo, it’s okay. You’re kind enough to give me a tour already. After all, I’m officially start working now, here, so it’s for the best that I get to know some people there too. Too bad that I didn’t bring any of my team here, Korea is too foreign for them.”

“It’s okay, you’re a friendly person. People will warm up to you in no time.” Kyungsoo replied, none of it was a lie.

“Thanks, Kyungsoo. I’ll be going to the makeup room then!” Baekhyun excused himself, leaving the room back to its silent state.

If there was something that Jongdae learnt about Kyungsoo all this time, Jongdae learnt that Kyungsoo was quiet. Kyungsoo worked in quiet environment, Kyungsoo ate quietly, Kyungsoo’s furious was quiet but dangerous, Kyungsoo’s smile was quiet but brighter than life, Kyungsoo’s sadness was quiet but more heartbreaking that an hour cries. And Kyungsoo’s affection was quiet but extremely strong in his every micro movement.

So, when Kyungsoo quietly wrapped Jongdae’s shaking body firmly in his arms, Jongdae burst into cries that he tried so hard to deny since he made contact with Baekhyun’s eyes that morning. Kyungsoo was quiet, no words left his mouth as he soothed Jongdae’s back. But Jongdae knew, Kyungsoo was telling him it would be alright, I have your back, you can count on me.

* * *

It felt weird to finally wrap The Kims’ third tour, KIM III, when they knew a new tour was already planned by the higher ups, since The Kims was the sold out artist for the agency. It was the final day of the tour, an encore concert, although felt a little bit melancholic, Jongdae couldn’t help but to feel restless too for their upcoming comeback. The last comeback for their current contract, and Jongdae knew all of the members would renew their contracts, the group was one of their life essence that they couldn’t remove now.

It also marked the second week since Baekhyun’s arrival, officially entering their career lives. Byun Baekhyun, the fashion stylist slash commercial stylist slash their head stylist now, the official stylist supervisor for The Kims. Thankfully Jongdae didn’t meet the guy in that span of two weeks, himself was too busy in the practice room and recording rooms since he had a few collaborations incoming on his plate. Baekhyun himself was probably busy settling down, since apparently he was back for good, with no plan to fly anywhere soon. Jongdae did read about the grand opening of Prive Cosmetics’ branch in Korea last week, so Baekhyun was indeed everywhere in Korea now. And also the hot model, Zhang Yixing, who attended the grand ceremony, might be as Baekhyun’s plus one, but Jongdae already promised himself not to care about Baekhyun anymore, since Baekhyun didn’t seem to care about him too.

They just finished their rehearsal, meant that it was time for makeup and some quick nap if possible, given that they had another six hours before the concert started. Concert would always be thrilling no matter how many times they did it. A nearly 3 hours of adrenaline, just like a full 42km marathon, with the only time to breathe was during outfit changing or VCR screening. But even then they only had one minute at least to calm their breathing, and then would start to run again.

Jongdae was starting to get his makeup done, he preferred to do his makeup early to get in the mood fast, when Chanyeol patted his knees to get his attention. He raised his eyebrows but still closed his eyes. “Can you leave us for a second?” Chanyeol asked the makeup artist politely and she left the two men to talk. “Baekhyun is here.”

That was enough to make Jongdae’s opened his eyes. “Why?”

Chanyeol shrugged. “He came with Mr Lee so Mr Lee probably invited him. And, and. Zhang Yixing came with him. Minseok and Junmyeon entertain them now at the stage.”

Jongdae made a face. “Can you pretend to be my boyfriend then? Must he shows off his boyfriend at MY concert?”

Chanyeol smirked at Jongdae’s annoyance. “Don’t worry, we already act like a couple since day 1 he’s here, it’s not that hard to continue pretend. Have you eaten? The buffet they provided is 5 stars.”

Jongdae shook his head, his appetite somehow lost with the latest update from Chanyeol. “I want bubble tea. Where’s Sehun? Tell him I want bubble tea. I need to double check a choreography with Jongin too, do you know where he is?”

“He went for a massage with the therapist just now, it shouldn’t take too long. Come on, eat with me, I’m starving.” Chanyeol tugged Jongdae’s arm, “Do your makeup later, eat first. I don’t want you to collapse onstage.”

“You’ll catch me if I collapse so I don’t really mind much,” Jongdae joked, elbowing Chanyeol as he finally stood, and walked to exit the preparation room.

It wasn’t a lie tho, he knew Chanyeol would run towards him anytime he fell, anywhere. They had a unique relationship, Chanyeol was there all along since Jongdae was a trainee, but only after Baekhyun left that Chanyeol finally seeped into his life. A Byun Baekhyun for a Park Chanyeol. Chanyeol was everywhere after that breakup, and Chanyeol was now everything for Jongdae. If someone asked who was his best friend now, Jongdae would answer Park Chanyeol immediately. Chanyeol really knew him inside out, and Jongdae truly thankful for that.

They stopped outside of the massaging room, looking for Jongin in case he wanted to eat too. Jongin already finished his massage session, relief was all over his face.

“Food? I’m starving.” Chanyeol asked Jongin who was quick to nod his head. “Come, you can’t shower immediately after a massage too.”

Jongin smiled happily, always the most positive human being in their circle. “I saw Baekhyun! He smiled at me!”

“I think he smiles at everyone except Jongdae.” Chanyeol replied, which earned him a smack on his arm. “Oh, come on Jongdae! Try to smile at him to see if it’s true or not!”

“Uh, uh. I think I saw him headed towards our direction.” Jongin whispered, alerting the other two men. “Okay, this is weird to encounter Zhang Yixing outside of fashion shows.”

Jongdae gulped as he watched Mr Lee, Baekhyun and Yixing steadily approaching them. Chanyeol unconsciously held Jongdae’s arm, as a form of telling him that he was there for Jongdae

“Hey, you guys! Let’s eat together!” Mr Lee shouted from his position, gesturing them to follow him to the buffet room. Chanyeol gave him an okay sign, literally pushed Jongdae to walk forward. The three of them bowed down respectfully at Mr Lee and his guests.

“Ah, you must know him, Jongin. This is Zhang Yixing, Baekhyun’s partner? Business partner?” Mr Lee laughed at his own joke.

“Business partner. Just call me Yixing, nice to meet you guys.” Yixing bowed down, his Korean was perfect.

“We met already early this year at Valentino fashion show,” Jongin smiled at him. “This is Jongdae, my member, and this is Chanyeol, our manager.”

Yixing’s eyes sparked interestingly as he looked at Jongdae, which made Jongdae extremely uncomfortable. Thankfully Mr Lee gestured for them to grab their plates.

They filled their plates with food, and somehow Mr Lee found a table that was enough to accommodate 6 people. Jongdae nearly cursed his luck for that day. Chanyeol cleverly sat in the middle of Jongin and Jongdae, which also meant he sat in front of Baekhyun, while Jongdae sat in front of Mr Lee, the next best option after sitting on the floor which unfortunately he didn’t had the courage to do so.

“I invited the two of them to come to the celebration party too.” Mr Lee started the conversation. “Tomorrow night, right? I gave the crews two days leave too! Where is it again, Chanyeol?”

“Gangnam, Sir. Aloft Hotel, we booked the entire restaurant in that hotel including the bar.” Thank God for Chanyeol’s top class public relations skill.

Mr Lee nodded approvingly. “Might as well make it a joint welcoming party for Baekhyun too. I’m really glad he finally joins us.”

Jongdae really tried his best to be a good employee in front of Mr Lee so he gave a smile at Baekhyun’s direction, finally gave a good look at Baekhyun for that day. Apparently Baekhyun was looking at him too, and Jongdae really had no idea how to react back. Baekhyun looked absolutely peaceful and extremely calm, no bad intentions in his eyes, just like the eyes of the 6 years old kid who greeted him back then.

“You think too much of me, Sir.” Baekhyun replied politely. “I hate to suddenly steal the spotlight too.”

“Nah, the crews love to celebrate. Any reason to drink more alcohol is gladly accepted.” Chanyeol smiled at Baekhyun, quick to warm up with the man in front of him. And that was the thing with Chanyeol. He could be friendly at anyone at anytime.

They continued with easy talks, Mr Lee asked them all sort of questions when he suddenly pointed at Jongdae with his finger. “Your vocal teacher told me that you’re ready for a solo album. Do you want to record one, Jongdae?” The question immediately gained interest from all the other four men including Yixing. It caught Jongdae off guard too, since he hadn’t thought about it seriously yet hence he had no definite answer for that.

“I want to.” He answered honestly. “Maybe not so soon, I still have comeback with the group and some collaborations and OST to record. Next year, maybe? If the agency agree.”

Mr Lee smiled at him, “I don’t think you’ll have any problems to receive green light from all the executives. Your solo songs achieved all kills all the time, even without any promotion from our behalf.”

“I don’t really mind the charting, Sir. I just feel like sharing my music and what I feel through it.” Jongdae replied honestly.

“Ah, sharing your feelings. You always sound like you’re experiencing a thousand heartbreak in every ballad songs for your group, I’m getting the feeling that maybe you’re dating and breaking up silently behind our back.”

That was supposed to be a harmless, pointless joke from the CEO but somehow everyone on that table went silent in that split second.

“He watches too many drama, Sir! That’s why he can sing ballad songs too good! He’s just too immerse in his feelings!” Again, Chanyeol saved the day, as he patted Jongdae’s back a few times, tried not to make Jongdae looked too weird in that situation. Jongdae smiled awkwardly at Mr Lee, silently wishing that his bad luck for that day to end already.

Jongdae quickly excused himself, since he really needed to do his makeup soon. It wasn’t easy to gather his performer persona, Jongdae would always be thankful of the confidence gave by the makeup and the flashy outfits.

“Can I follow you guys to the preparation room? I really want to see how you guys prepare backstage for a concert. It’s been too long for me and I haven’t work for a concert since I left.” Baekhyun suddenly asked when Jongdae already stood from his seat.

“I don’t really mind but—“ Jongin answered, head turned towards Jongdae.

“Sure, I have no problem with that.”

That. That was the first sentence that Jongdae directly gave to Baekhyun and Baekhyun only, after 5 long years, and Jongdae really patted himself on the back since he said it smoothly, no fear and hesitancy in his tone.

Baekhyun looked like he was relieved, as he gave that relief smile towards the already empty plate of his. Was Jongdae that hostile towards him? Baekhyun really couldn’t smile directly at Jongdae just like what Chanyeol said? Jongdae couldn’t help but felt bad at himself, Baekhyun never showed any sign of unfriendliness, it was only Jongdae who seemed like he got a problem with Baekhyun. Which he was. He still couldn’t act normal in front of Baekhyun, but then he realized acting so cold wouldn’t help too, not with the fact that they would need to work together after this, so Jongdae really needed to start accepting Baekhyun’s existence there. He nodded, as he excused himself from the table, followed by Mr Lee himself who announced that he needed to greet more people backstage.

Baekhyun excused himself too, ready to go where Jongdae was going, and Yixing followed him. Jongin told Chanyeol to go ahead first since he really needed to shower, the oil massage started to make him uncomfortable. So Chanyeol quickly walked beside Jongdae, smiled sweetly at Baekhyun and Yixing who were walking behind Jongdae, who made no effort to start any conversation whatsoever.

They arrived back at the preparation room, Minseok and Junmyeon already there, although they were just lounging and playing with their phones. “Have you guys eaten?” Jongdae asked, he sat on the seat in front of vanity table which labeled with his name.

“After this, just want to take a break for a while.” Junmyeon answered cheerfully. “Baekhyun came for a visit?”

“Ah, yes. If you guys don’t mind.” Baekhyun smiled at Junmyeon.

“It’s okay. Both of you, have a seat.” Junmyeon patted on the long back couch where he currently sat on.

Baekhyun and Yixing both sat on the couch, Baekhyun carefully observed the room. There would be another vanity area set up under the stage, and that was where the real adrenaline rush for the stylists happened. “It feels the same, like in a fashion show but the tense is totally heavier.” Yixing said.

“Tense but I love this atmosphere better.” Baekhyun added. Jongdae nearly scoffed at his vanity seat, clearly not impressed with Yixing’s presence and Baekhyun somehow able to understand Jongdae’s annoyance. “Yixing is my business partner in Prive Cosmetics, I forgot to tell you guys. He’s here to manage the new branch for a while.”

“I see. Anything going on with you guys? Not to probe, just afraid that we’ll cross the line somehow.” Chanyeol asked smoothly as he took a seat near to Yixing. Jongdae eyed him before closing his eyes as his makeup artist already started to prep his face.

“Oh no, nothing’s going on. I’m in fact already soulmated, someone from the fashion industry too.” Yixing smiled fondly. “Not sure if you guys know him since he’s active at the western side. Kris Wu?” He said then he showed his phone at Chanyeol, his lock screen was a picture of him with an extremely handsome guy, probably taller than Chanyeol himself.

“Kris Wu? The face of LV, Kris Wu?” Chanyeol said in high pitch as he took Yixing’s phone to look closer at the picture. Minseok who usually didn’t mind other’s business hugged Chanyeol from behind to look at the picture.

“Wow, talk about power couple. This is hard to challenge, you guys look good together.” Minseok smiled at Yixing who was now blushing, proud was evident on his face.

“Hope you guys can keep this secret. I don’t really mind people knowing it but Kris is a little bit sensitive with the reporters.” Yixing bower down his head.

“Oh, don’t you worry. We’re keeping so many secrets for years, adding another one is not a problem for us.” Chanyeol kindly assured him, giving back Yixing’s handphone. It wasn’t hard to like Yixing, he was very polite in his words.

Sehun entered the room with two bubble teas in his hand, and comically halted his movements at the door when he saw Baekhyun and Yixing. “Ah, hello, we meet again. Are you guys working with us today?”

“Hi, Sehun, right? No, I’m just looking around, I’ll only start on next comeback and for the new tour. This is Zhang Yixing, my business partner.” Baekhyun gestured at Yixing, and Sehun politely held his hand for a handshake.

“Ah, the model. I’m Sehun, assistant manager.” Sehun introduced himself.

“Oh, please. Don’t be fooled by his title, he is Jongdae’s personal manager. He rarely manage the other members!” Chanyeol said excitedly.

Sehun sheepishly smiled at them before headed towards Jongdae, nudging him on the shoulder. Jongdae opened his eyes and stared at Sehun who was staring back at him. “Your bubble tea.” Sehun told him, putting the cup on the vanity table. He continued to watch at Jongdae with extreme interest, the makeup artist had to stop her work too since Sehun was staring way too obvious.

“What?” Jongdae asked, uncomfortable with Sehun’s stares.

Sehun cupped one of Jongdae’s cheek with his right hand, and moved his face closer too Jongdae’s. “Are you on talking terms with your ex now because the atmosphere here is very friendly.” He whispered low, low enough that only Jongdae could hear it.

Jongdae laughed at Sehun’s serious face and punched his arm playfully which earned a smile from Sehun. “I’m trying my best to be a good human here, thank you for choosing my side, not like Chanyeol there.” Jongdae whispered back, but truly glad that he could breathe properly now even in the same room with Baekhyun.

* * *

Fifteen minutes left before the concert started, and that was when the total pressure kicked in, everyone was hot on their heels, tried to make sure everything was perfect. Baekhyun stayed with The Kims, joined them at the backstage while Yixing excused himself to sit with the crowds outside. It was weird to finally watch The Kims at their own concert, each member’s persona was so strong, it was new for Baekhyun to watch them like that. And Jongdae. That was a new Jongdae, a Kim Jongdae that he never met before, full of concentration and oozing out with confidence, it was almost impossible for Baekhyun to leave his eyes from Jongdae.

Jongin, who noticed Baekhyun tried to be helpful with his stylists despite not yet officially started as their head stylist, now openly staring at Jongdae, nudged him with a bottle of drinking water. Baekhyun was startled but quickly regained his composure, gladly accepted the bottle.

And Jongin, who was now ready up to toe, smirked at Baekhyun while stretching himself. Baekhyun once was one of the junior stylist appointed for Jongin, so they really had no problem to communicate with each other.

Jongin was close too with Baekhyun before, and extremely supportive of Baekhyun’s relationship with Jongdae, to the point that often times he nearly text Baekhyun to come back or at least contact them back. But Jongin was bonded to Jongdae more, heart and soul, and he couldn’t do it, if Jongdae also often times reminded Jongin not to do it. Baekhyun that stood beside him now didn’t feel like a stranger, still felt like a close friend, except for more confidence and more power in his every words.

The one to order around now, and no longer to be ordered around.

“You only have your eyes on him, my supermodel-self hurts.” Jongin joked, creating small talks to calm down himself too. It was harder to control his nervousness as one of The Kims compared to as a model.

Baekhyun laughed nervously, “He literally shines even by just standing there, Jongin.”

Jongin looked at Jongdae’s direction, “He can easily be a model and sign with more big names than me.”

Baekhyun shook his head, “No, I don’t want big names coming for him.”

Jongin turned at Baekhyun with big eyes. “Wow, is that being possessive?”

Baekhyun hit him lightly on his shoulder. “No! Seriously! How can I be possessive over him when he couldn’t even look at me straight for more than 3 seconds?” Baekhyun said weakly as he stared back at Jongdae’s direction. He was stretching with Minseok, face serious and ready for the concert.

“He can’t avoid you forever, we’ll work together soon.” Jongin said kindly, felt bad for the cold treatment that Jongdae gave at Baekhyun.

Minseok then called for all members to gather, time for their compulsory gathering before any performance started.

Baekhyun looked at them forming a circle, a part of him jealous of the strong bond within The Kims.

Minseok hugged Junmyeon and Jongdae who stood beside him over their shoulders, and the rest followed the same action. One big hug.

“Last day, Kims. Last day. Do our best as usual for the fans, our backbones.” Minseok started. “Whatever happen tomorrow is uncertainty, what will happen tonight is ours and ours only, so let’s give all in us for tonight, Kims! If it hurts, don’t hide it, we always have each other and we only have each other! Don’t let anything distract you today, let’s pour our love and souls for our fans!”

They shouted The Kims, let’s get it! together, and hugged each other tight one last time before finally walked towards their starting position. It was like a spell to watch the four men, all of them emitted such a strong aura.

Jongdae’s position was near to the corner where Baekhyun currently stood, and while arranging his in ear again to make sure it was clipped properly, he took a glance at Baekhyun.

_Fighting!_ Baekhyun mouthed it out, unable to stop himself.

It took Jongdae off guard, but he wasn’t a bad guy to the core too, so he mouthed back _thank you_ before squatting at his position.

Everything wasn’t plan and they totally didn’t foresee it, but those small gestures made both of their hearts thousand times lighter.

It was during the second outfit change that it happened, an hour after the concert started, where the time left for The Kims to finish their outfit changing was a quick 1 minute but Jongdae’s stylists still hadn’t even button his shirt. Baekhyun was antsy just to watch them from the side so he decided to help them too.

“You guys are so slow!” Baekhyun nearly screamed, as he pushed one makeup artist kindly to give space for him to stand in front of Jongdae.

Everyone there knew that Jongdae didn’t have any new stylist, so everyone was alarmed when Baekhyun started to button Jongdae’s shirt really fast, totally a professional hand.

It was a segment for ballad songs soon, and the outfit was a three freaking piece suit, Baekhyun wasted no time and asked for the waistcoat. Jongdae looked at him with surprise, there were so many things to be surprised of. The fact that Baekhyun helped him at that moment itself, the fact that Baekhyun’s order was strong enough that his stylist didn’t even argue with whatever Baekhyun was doing now, and the fact that Jongdae didn’t flinch that Baekhyun was that close in front of him. Yes, he was surprised of that fact the most, and even the others standing there were surprised with that simple fact. Everyone understood not to let any new stylist near Jongdae, or any unfamiliar faces at all near Jongdae, although they never questioned why since Mr Lee made it clear to them not to argue that simple condition. Jongdae didn’t react negatively with Baekhyun that close to him, literally touching him to button whatever buttons he needed to. He just looked at Baekhyun but made no move to push him away.

Jongdae didn’t even realize that Baekhyun already hung the jacket high for him to put his hands inside, only when Chanyeol tugged the wires roughly around his belt that he snapped back into reality, and wore the jacket properly.

“All set! Check your wires and mic, Jongdae!” Baekhyun stepped back to give Jongdae a quick look.

Jongdae rearranged his mic and gave a thumbs up as he heard the sound engineer clearly in his ears. “I’m good.” He replied smoothly, his makeup artist also finished retouching his face.

20 seconds left before The Kims should stand at the platform but Baekhyun still stared at Jongdae’s body, as what a stylist should do. Jongdae really didn’t know what to do, usually he would just left since he didn’t care much about perfecting his outfit as long as he looked presentable. There was something in him whispered to him to stay there, let Baekhyun check until he was satisfied.

Baekhyun then smoothed Jongdae’s shoulders, nodded to himself. “Go get them, tiger.” He patted Jongdae’s butt twice as encouragement before softly pushed Jongdae to move.

“Thanks.” Jongdae replied short without even looking at Baekhyun, for he knew that Baekhyun understood he really meant that one simple word.

On that platform, Jongdae stood beside Minseok who already arrived there earlier. Minseok gave him a worried look but Jongdae just grabbed Minseok’s arm firmly. “I’m okay, I don’t feel any palpitations. I guess my body is still familiar with Baekhyun.” He whispered low.

Minseok frowned, unconvinced so Jongdae grabbed Minseok’s palm and put it on his heart. “Feel it? A little bit fast due to our movements but not at an unhealthy pace.” 5 seconds left before they raise the platform.

“Pinch any one of us if you feel unwell.” Minseok said and steadied himself. Jongdae nodded and regained his focus too.

He could feel Chanyeol’s big hand on his back before the platform was lifted, and the reassuring from his surroundings really made Jongdae felt so relieved.

The live band started playing and Jongdae’s voice smoothly began the ballad song, steady and beautiful as always. All of the people at backstage somehow sighed in relief. “You scared us.” Chanyeol said as he hit Baekhyun’s arm weakly with his walkie-talkie.

“What did I do? The stylists are slow, you can’t expect me to just watch and follow that rules of no new stylist?” Baekhyun asked back, offended.

“Don’t jump on him like that! Seriously Baekhyun, you should be glad that Jongdae knows you for years as Baekhyun and not anyone else. You nearly create havoc to this concert.” Chanyeol said and walked away, leaving an extremely confused Baekhyun.

* * *

“A tour ends and a new one will begin!” Chanyeol shouted loud enough, already intoxicated by a few drinks. The celebration dinner just ended and now that the higher ups already left, the real party for the crews had just started. Most of them now relaxing at the rooftop cocktail lounge, courtesy of the agency itself since they already reserved the whole area for the crews.

The crews were literally everywhere, Minseok and Junmyeon were sitting on lounge chairs inside, with Chanyeol already half asleep, clung onto Junmyeon, where they were chatting happily with the sound engineers, Jongin was sitting at the open air area with the backup dancers, Sehun and Kyungsoo also at different corner of the open air area, were talking with the stylists, eager to hear Baekhyun’s stories from the western world. Yes, Baekhyun was there, together with Yixing, hence the reason now Jongdae was sitting at the bar which located inside, alone, content enough to talk with just the bartender. The inside and outdoor space was divided by a window glass, so those from the inside could still see the view of the outside.

The night was still early, but The Kims tried their best not to get too drunk since they had a personal schedule tomorrow. Jongin had an interview which Chanyeol was supposed to accompany him tomorrow, so he was relieved to see Chanyeol didn’t get wasted and just slept peacefully there. Minseok had a solo photoshoot at Japan so Kyungsoo, who could speak Japanese fluently, would fly with him while Junmyeon had a shooting for his latest drama and Sehun would accompany him tomorrow.

Jongdae had no plan tomorrow, which he truly thankful for that, because he was extremely tired and he needed rest for his vocal too since he would hit the recording studio soon for another OST recording.

It was weird and melancholic for Jongdae to watch how easily Baekhyun bonded with the crews, his members and the managers, and made himself another family member to the already established crews of The Kims. But then Baekhyun was always the social butterfly, knew how to approach people, and knew how to retreat before things get too close. It would be nice if Jongdae could treat Baekhyun the same too, but he still couldn’t get pass that invisible boundary between the two of them.

The group of the stylists now were getting more louder and more merrier, now that someone proposed to play the Truth or Dare game, with the pretense of welcoming a famous stylist into the family, but everyone knew they just wanted to have some wild fun. Sehun and Kyungsoo were quick to excuse themselves, for they had too many secrets up their sleeves and this kind of game was dangerous for them so they just retreated to a corner, sat comfortably overlooking the view of the city.

Everyone who was sitting inside seemed to be unbothered with what was happening outside, the game was literally making the table the center of attention. “Come on, new boss! Truth or dare?” Someone asked Baekhyun, who now contemplating his life decision since that bottle somehow pointed at him despite the large number of people in that circle. He wasn’t that drunk, he still could think properly but he still not that comfortable to share anything so he settled for the easiest. “Dare!”

“Ahhh! You’re no fun!” Someone complained, which Baekhyun wanted to deny since a wrong dare was scary too.

“Then I dare you.....” Taeyong, who was so interested with Baekhyun even before Baekhyun set his foot at the agency said, “Kiss a person on this level!”

If blood dried from his face, only Yixing would notice it since Baekhyun managed to maintain his face from frowning. The crowds cheered excitedly for Baekhyun, who was now glancing around to find his poor victim. Most of them there thought Baekhyun would choose Yixing, including Taeyong himself since they thought those two were an item and they couldn’t miss that opportunity to see two hottest men there kissing.

So when Baekhyun actually stood and walked slowly to the sliding door connecting the inside and outdoor area, some of the crowds stopped cheering to see where Baekhyun actually going.

_You’re crazy, Baekhyun_, Baekhyun told to himself.

_But then I’m always crazy for this guy_, his inside monologue activated like crazy.

_And if this will make him talk to me again then so be it,_ he debated with himself again.

_ Because ever since I saw him at the meeting room, I really, really want to kiss him. _

Baekhyun stopped beside his prey, immediately cupped Jongdae’s face from his side. Jongdae who totally had no idea what happened since he was still talking with the bartender about the latest song from Bruno Mars, Jongdae who couldn’t even register who was grabbing his face because the movement was too quick and the person smelled like fine red wine which Jongdae wasn’t familiar with.

When suddenly a pair of lips met his, warm and needy that Jongdae literally gasped on that lips.

Ten seconds in, a tongue tried to invade his lips and he tried to calm himself but his body now refused to listen. His lung started to get too tight and he literally pushed Baekhyun off, but grabbing Baekhyun’s wrist in the process and held it too tight, Baekhyun was alarmed with Jongdae’s reaction.

The table where the stylists sat together rejoiced with gasps and cheers, too surprised and excited to watch the scene unfolded in front of them since they didn’t think Baekhyun would ever choose Jongdae. Jongin, who still sat with the backup dancers now was too intrigued on what was happening, shouted at his stylist who happened to stand near him. “What’s the occasion?” Jongin asked, face full of interest.

“Byun Baekhyun! He kissed Jongdae!” The innocent stylist answered.

Jongin immediately felt the shiver ran inside of his body as he immediately stood and ran closer towards the glass panel dividing the area, only to watch Jongdae’s face was already in pain.

“Shit! Shit!” Jongin cursed and quickly scanned the outdoor area for his members or managers. “Kyungsoo! Sehun!” He shouted as he saw those two sat together, and those two men quickly turned at Jongin’s direction, quick to notice the panic in Jongin’s voice. “It’s Jongdae! Baekhyun kissed him and he somewhat looks in pain now!” Jongin shouted and now ran towards the sliding door.

Kyungsoo and Sehun quickly ran and followed Jongin too, dread now was clear in both of their faces.

“Chanyeol! Junmyeon! Wake Chanyeol now!” Jongin shouted at their table, now running towards Baekhyun and Jongdae who were standing at another corner from the trio’s table.

Chanyeol seemed to stir from his sleep when he heard Jongin’s stressed voice, manager’s instinct kicked in, and immediately asked in annoyance. “What? Give me a break!”

“Jongdae’s attack is back, you fool!” Sehun who already entered the area immediately answered.

That totally got the attentions of all three of them, with Chanyeol now literally sprinted at wherever Sehun was heading.

Baekhyun was now 100% panicking, since Jongdae grabbed him too tight, and his other hand was hitting his chest non stop, wheezed too often. “Jongdae, Jongdae. What happened?” Baekhyun asked, not knowing what to do, Jongdae’s face was too red. The others now went silent, panic too when they realized somewhere was wrong with Jongdae.

Chanyeol and Jongin approached them, Sehun already stopped midway when he saw Jongdae in that condition, literally panicking. Chanyeol somehow gained super speed and overtook Jongin, immediately snatched Jongdae from Baekhyun.

“Jongdae, Jongdae. Please, it’s me! Chanyeol!” Jongdae’s body now shaking too much, he was wheezing nonstop, Chanyeol had to hold Jongdae’s face to make him focus at Chanyeol’s face.

But Jongdae had no sign of recognizing Chanyeol, couldn’t even say a word, and his face and lips already blue. Jongin nearly teared up seeing Jongdae like that, shaking uncontrollably now in Chanyeol’s arms.

“Chanyeol, inhaler.” Kyungsoo, already arrived at the scene, nudged him with the inhaler, tried to remain calm but his tone totally gave away his panic.

“No, Kyungsoo, he couldn’t inhale anything now.” Chanyeol immediately picked Jongdae up into his arms, firmly, one hand around Jongdae’s shoulders and another hand under Jongdae’s knees. Jongdae gaped like a fish just got caught from the water, Chanyeol couldn’t bear it anymore. “Sehun, go get a car ready now! And call the hospital now, Kyungsoo!” He immediately ran for the elevator, Minseok already pressed the button earlier.

But the elevator seemed like it took forever to climb up when it was just two seconds and Chanyeol had no such patience when Jongdae literally couldn’t breathe anymore. “Kyungsoo, I’m going down the stairs!” Kyungsoo was quick to understand, ran for the emergency door and opened it up for Chanyeol who quickly descended the flight of stairs.

They were on the 20th level, but Chanyeol didn’t care, the others apparently didn’t care too as they followed Chanyeol who managed to climb down quickly even with Jongdae in his arms.

“Minseok, I—“ Baekhyun quickly stopped him, who was the last to descend the stairs, his face was guilty and panic beyond words.

Minseok looked at him for a second, and after a thought he finally spoke. “Follow us.”

* * *

_ It was nearly 3 months since Baekhyun left, and Jongdae still couldn’t move on even a tiny bit. _

_ He just finished the photoshoot for their album jacket, now relaxing at the top of the hotel where they had the shooting done. The summer heat was starting to cool down to welcome autumn, so the night wasn’t that warm and Jongdae appreciated that. _

_ Jongdae scrolled on his phone, rereading his conversations with Baekhyun, the only remedy left from Baekhyun himself. He did try to text and call Baekhyun, but all was left unanswered. Baekhyun probably already had a new number at London and Jongdae would have no way to know it. _

_ He sipped the beer that he brought together with him, his sadness was still too strong. His members already knew about the breakup, Jongdae couldn’t help but to break down in front of his members a week after Baekhyun left since it was too much for him to handle it alone. Their managers didn’t know about them, hence Jongdae just told his managers that he was unwell, whenever Jongdae seemed to unfocus with anything or just in his solemn mood. _

_ He didn’t realize it when a figure approached him slowly from behind, Jongdae always been out of place these few weeks to begin with. _

_ “Here you are.” Their photographer just now, sat beside Jongdae too suddenly, it caught Jongdae off guard. _

_ It wasn’t hard to see that the photographer took extreme interest with Jongdae. He had been touching Jongdae unnecessarily a lot longer compared to the rest of the members, kept giving Jongdae a hard pose just so that he could have Jongdae in front of him longer than usual photoshoots. _

_ And the photographer was the son of one of the minister of Korea, so no one really dare to question his motives, even though it was clear that his actions could be labeled as sexual harassment. _

_ Jongdae tried his best to smile at the guy, whose name he still couldn’t remember, since his head was everywhere. _

_ “Alone? Need a company?” The photographer asked. _

_ Definitely sitting too close to Jongdae’s liking. _

_ “Anything will do.” Jongdae replied short, didn’t want to appear rude. _

_ “Such a good looking guy like you surely need a company.” That guy was now touching his shoulder and Jongdae flinched, tried to create a distance between them. _

_ “You should stay with your crews, they must have been searching for you.” Jongdae wasn’t stupid to read the situation, the situation now was too dangerous for him. He typed SOS in his phone, hoping that he did tap on the right chatroom in his panic. The photographer was a buff guy, surely Jongdae could fight but he knew how to calculate his chances to win too. _

_ He had no chance. _

_ The photographer quickly pinned Jongdae down, Jongdae quickly screamed, “Help! Someone help me!” _

_ The photographer now put a hand on Jongdae’s mouth while his other hand collected both Jongdae’s arms firmly in his grip. _

_ It was too much, the photographer literally pressed on Jongdae’s nose and mouth too strong, Jongdae couldn’t breathe. Tears started to form at the corner of his eyes, he was literally choking by the lack of air. _

_ The sound of the door being kicked too hard caught both men off guard but the photographer didn’t even move his hands from Jongdae. _

_ “I caught you on video, you freak!” Chanyeol’s voice could be heard clearly, a phone in his hand, telling them that he indeed taking a video of what was happening and the photographer quickly released his hands from Jongdae. _

_ His members apparently read the SOS message from Jongdae and managed to tell their crews to find Jongdae. It wasn’t that hard to piece everything together, with the missing of both Jongdae and the photographer, who was supposed to wrap his work with his crews instead of missing somewhere without even telling his crews, who had his eyes ogling over Jongdae ever since he set his eyes on Jongdae. _

_ Chanyeol immediately ran towards Jongdae who was now panicking since he couldn’t breathe, while Kyungsoo was fighting with the photographer, bless his black belt despite his lack of height, he managed to kick the photographer too hard on his kneecap, and the photographer now was on the floor, in pain. _

_ “Jongdae, it’s me, Chanyeol. Jongdae, breathe please, breathe.” Chanyeol was now rocking Jongdae in his arms, but Jongdae didn’t respond, couldn’t respond. _

_ Their members soon came at the rooftop, together with their managers whose face were as pale as the white wall behind them. _

* * *

“Apparently our managers were the one who told the photographer Jongdae’s whereabout after the shooting finished. The photographer told them that he had an offer to give to Jongdae so they easily gave Jongdae’s location to him.” Junmyeon paused. “But it wasn’t easy for Jongdae to trust them back.”

They were sitting outside of a private ward, Jongdae was still being ministered by the doctor inside, with Chanyeol to accompany him.

Baekhyun stared blankly at the wall in front of him, clearly too stunned with the information that he just knew.

“The first month was the hardest. Jongdae lost his voice on the first month. He...” Junmyeon, who sat beside Baekhyun, paused. “He flinched everytime someone try to touch him. Even us. Even us, the members. Except for Chanyeol.” He paused again. “Probably because Chanyeol was the one who saved him, he could only let Chanyeol touch him, stand close to him. When we touch him, he’ll palpitate, sweating heavily and his asthma attack will come when it got too much.”

There was another heavy pause, too heavy that Baekhyun somehow couldn’t breathe. “Jongdae...lost his voice?”

“For the first month, yes. Not even a whisper. The doctor said it was one of the PTSD, and even the doctor had no idea when he could speak again. That’s why our comeback at that time was delayed. Jongdae stayed at his parents home most of the times. We were really in the dark for the first few months. We didn’t know if we should stay as The Kims, or exclude Jongdae, or a hiatus.” Junmyeon took a breath, the memories were painful. Uncertainties were painful. “Then somehow Jongdae managed to whisper after a month. A whisper, then a proper audible sentence. By the third month, he could speak properly again.” Junmyeon paused again, clearly started to get too emotional.

“Jongdae was strong, the doctor said. He came through because his love for singing was strong.” Minseok, who sat on the right side of Baekhyun, continued where Junmyeon left. “But that wasn’t the case with human touch. He only let us, the members, to touch him a few months after that incident. We retook our jacket photoshoot, even our MV and choreography, everything. None involved touches knowing how it will affect Jongdae.”

That made Baekhyun suddenly understood things slowly. That comeback after their breakup was surely different from the rest, Jongdae looked distant and unfocused, which Baekhyun blamed it on the fact that he wasn’t there for Jongdae anymore. Little did he knew a tragedy happened behind that comeback.

“Mr Lee agreed with that sick photographer not to sue him publicly. His father, the minister, even paid something to Mr Lee but Mr Lee didn’t take it, as long as the photographer promised not to cross his way with MS Entertainment again. There is The Kims’ image to take care of too, and Jongdae made it clear that he didn’t want the public to know what happened. Mr Lee also made that condition of no new stylist for Jongdae, since it involves too much skinship.” Minseok continued, eyes now looking at Kyungsoo who stood near the door. “Our managers changed too. Chanyeol was assigned for Jongdae, and Kyungsoo for the rest of us since they were the only people that Jongdae trusts after that incident. You knew how important trust is in this industry. It was messy, but somehow we made it. Somehow we made it until today.”

Silence followed after that last sentence, everyone was in their own thoughts.

“I’ve got to be honest, I’m shock too, again. I know the stories, I experienced it myself how slow he warmed up with me....” Sehun suddenly spoke out. “I just knew about him and Baekhyun recently too, and this is also the first time I saw him that way...I’m so scared. Usually he still can use an inhaler...”

“He’s already getting better when you became our crew. And people seem to understand not to step in his personal space after being reminded in a meeting with the CEO himself, not like a certain someone.” Baekhyun didn’t miss the sarcasm in Kyungsoo’s tone, but was too guilty to even look at Kyungsoo.

“Let’s not make things worse.” Minseok voiced out. “I’m sure Baekhyun meant no harm in whatever action he did tonight.”

They fell into silence once again, and Chanyeol came out from the room some ten minutes after that. Everyone immediately looked at him, waiting for Jongdae’s update.

“He’s fine. He can talk, God, I’m so glad he can talk.” Chanyeol plopped onto the floor. “They already sedated him with some fluids, go talk with him now before he fall asleep. He can be discharged after he wake up later.”

The rest immediately went inside, except for Baekhyun who was hesitating in front of Chanyeol.

“Seriously, I told you not to jump on him...” Chanyeol said as he looked at Baekhyun.

“I’m so sorry...” Baekhyun held his head low, really had no idea what to say more, he felt too guilty.

“Go inside. Show your face to him, he deserves to at least see the face of the person that made him got another attack.” Chanyeol slowly lifted himself up.

Baekhyun now felt another wash of guilt threw at his face, but Chanyeol just grabbed his arm and pulled him together with him to enter the private ward.

The room was silent, except for a few whisperings. Baekhyun braved himself to look at Jongdae and he immediately regretted his existence that night, his heart broke just by the sight of Jongdae. Jongdae looked so weak and tired on the bed, receiving IV but still managed to give his smile to Sehun who was talking with him now. The others stood around his bed, tried their best to look normal when on the inside, they felt just as heart broken as Baekhyun.

“Chanyeol, all three of us are occupied tomorrow.” Sehun asked worriedly. It was already 2 am, and all of them needed to have some rest for their schedules later. “How about Jongdae?”

“I’ll try to ask anyone if they can accompany Jongdae, at least until his discharge tomorrow.” Chanyeol answered as he fished out his phone, now stood beside Jongdae, his other hand rearranged the blanket around Jongdae.

Chanyeol was still scrolling his phone, tried to think of the perfect person to text when suddenly Baekhyun spoke out, although his voice was unsure. “I can accompany Jongdae...if he let me...”

“You? After what happened?” Sehun immediately snapped.

Baekhyun bit his lower lip, he knew his suggestion would get decline anyway but he really wanted to do something for Jongdae. After what he did tonight.

“Hey...no need to be hostile, he’s still a friend...” Jongdae whispered weakly.

“How can we let him to take care of you? What if he did something horrible again?” Sehun asked, his tone was harsh.

“It’s okay, he won’t...I know him, he won’t...” Baekhyun teared up to hear that, Jongdae still gave him the benefit of the doubt after what he made Jongdae went through. “Just do your work tomorrow, guys. I don’t mind...you guys are busy too anyway...” Jongdae replied, fingers quickly reached out for Chanyeol’s, knowing Chanyeol had the final word in this situation. Jongdae didn’t really know what to feel if Baekhyun was the one to accompany him that night after what just happened but he didn’t want to disturb the other’s plan too. And his heart told him that he could rely on Baekhyun.

Chanyeol knew that tone and gestures, when Jongdae didn’t want to bother anyone, and begging him to follow what he said.

“Baekhyun, are you serious about this? He’s hard to handle when he’s in pain, you probably never handle someone as difficult as him.” Chanyeol asked, eyes were serious on him, only to realize that Baekhyun knew Jongdae longer than anyone else in the room. “Who am I kidding. That’s a weird question for you—“

“I’m serious. I want to, really!” Baekhyun answered quickly, now determined to take care of Jongdae, hell to whatever embarrassment and guilt that he felt right now, as long as Jongdae was safe.

Chanyeol nodded to himself, then turned towards Jongdae. “Sure you’re okay with this? Your body okay with him?”

“Chanyeol!” Sehun quickly protested.

“I’m okay, really. My body too. You guys saw it during the concert. I just had no idea he was the one who was ki— was standing there beside me, that’s why I’m ended up like this...” Jongdae now gripped Chanyeol’s fingers tightly, the sedatives now kicking in his body.

Chanyeol sighed again, he had too many things to do in such a short span of time. He had to make up some stories to tell the other crews on what happened to Jongdae, to tell them not to tell a soul that Baekhyun actually kissed Jongdae, needed to spread that false stories before it reach the reporters, needed to brief on the hotel workers who witnessed the incident, needed to contact Mr Lee soon to tell him that Jongdae was in a hospital, needed to meet the doctor and nurses to cooperate with him so that the stories would tally, he needed here and he needed there and more stuffs on his mind that he couldn’t think straight already. It wasn’t the first time the members did something stupid or something stupid happened to them, but each and every time it happened, it was a big headache to sort out the mess.

“Okay. Stay with him, bring him back home safely tomorrow.” Chanyeol handed Baekhyun his phone. Baekhyun took it, confused. “Your phone number. I need it.” Chanyeol said and looked at Jongdae. Jongdae already closed both of his eyes, fingers slowly lost the grip around Chanyeol’s.

Baekhyun quickly typed his number and gave the phone back to Chanyeol. “Dial up my number, I’ll save yours.” He paused, now looked at Jongdae. “I promise I’ll take care of him.” There was something heavy in that tone, almost like a promise, the whole room could feel it but chose not to press on it.

“We’ll get going then, Baekhyun. Don’t hesitate to tell or ask us anything if something happen to Jongdae.” Minseok patted Baekhyun’s back. “Which I hope will never happen.” He exited the room, followed by the rest, didn’t want to disturb Jongdae in his sleep.

Sehun hesitated for a while, gave Baekhyun another stern look. “I should hate you right now but I guess I can’t, yet. Just please take care of him, if you dare to do anything stupid at Jongdae again, I’ll handle you myself.” He left after that threat, Baekhyun knew Sehun meant every word he said.

“Text me tomorrow when he wakes up. Don’t misuse our trust on you.” Chanyeol reminded Baekhyun, took another look at Jongdae before finally leaving the ward.

Finally, Baekhyun could be alone with Jongdae, after wishing for it for so long.

But he didn’t mean it to happen this way.

And he didn’t like it to happen this way, not with Jongdae this weak and fragile in front of him.


	4. Chapter 4

Jongdae woke up with a heavy feeling on his chest, literally, a common effect whenever he had an asthma attack. He blinked for a few times, tried to calm down himself since the environment felt so unfamiliar to him. He looked around for any sign, Chanyeol or Sehun, only to find a figure sitting on a chair beside his bed, slept in such an uncomfortable position. Only then he felt lighter, and finally remembered back everything that happened last night.

Jongdae didn’t find it in him to blame Baekhyun for his current situation. Baekhyun didn’t know, had no idea at all of Jongdae’s situation. He experienced a few asthma attack when he was younger, Baekhyun did witness some of it, but none as terrible as the one after he met that horrible photographer. And Jongdae knew, if Baekhyun knew, Baekhyun would be the last person to harm Jongdae in anyway possible. He breathed deeply, tried his lungs and was relieved that the tight feelings were no longer there, although his whole body still felt weak. It was a shock to him, inside out.

The pink curtain was illuminated from behind, so the sun must had risen high although Jongdae had no idea what time was it already. He continued to lay on the bed, head turned to watch Baekhyun sleeping.

It had been a while since Jongdae saw Baekhyun’s figure while he was sleeping, but it was still the same peace he found just by observing the other man. Black roots already appeared which made Baekhyun more human but still a lot like angel with the platinum hair. The steady rise and fall of Baekhyun’s breathing, the small O formed by Baekhyun’s lips.

That immediately made Jongdae wondered again. Why did Baekhyun kiss him last night? He was too panic to know the truth behind it, and everyone seemed to avoid the issue last night. Jongdae bit his lip, tried to remember again what happened last night. He should have known it was Baekhyun, the lips felt familiar in an instant. Not that Jongdae ever kissed other people, but Baekhyun’s lips last night didn’t feel foreign after all this time. If only Baekhyun made it known to him that he was stepping into Jongdae’s space and not just simply intruding without warning. But then, what would happen if he knew it was Baekhyun? Would he respond back? Jongdae didn’t know, and he really didn’t want to know, somehow glad he got an asthma attack instead of figuring out his own body’s responses.

Jongdae looked around again, the IV drip wasn’t there anymore, the nurse must had examined him again some time in his sleep. His eyes felt back to the person near his bed. They were kind of close, within a hand reach and he could touch Baekhyun. Baekhyun looked too peaceful, Jongdae just stared at him, kind of mesmerized. Probably the only time Jongdae could have to stare at real Baekhyun, not the mocking pose in front of his apartment. But anything peaceful somehow destined to end soon, with Jongdae’s phone vibrating non stop on the table beside his bed. It shook Baekhyun from his sleep, immediately on alert and quickly looked at Jongdae.

“You awake? Are you okay? Are you in pain?” Baekhyun reached for Jongdae, panic.

“Hey, calm down, I’m okay.” Jongdae replied weakly, surprised with how coarse his throat felt like. Baekhyun already stood now, examined Jongdae’s face with concern. “Can you give me some water, I’m so thirsty.”

“Ah, sorry. Sure. Wait a second.” Baekhyun immediately stood to pour some water from the jug into the empty glass.

“And my phone too.” Jongdae gestured for his phone and damn. Even moving his arm felt like doing a weightlifting.

“Here.” Baekhyun wanted to hand him the glass but Jongdae was practically still lying on the bed so he put the glass back on the table. “Wait, let me adjust your bed.” He went for the lever and once Jongdae was sitting comfortably, he asked. “Is this okay?” Jongdae nodded, felt a bit better now that he was sitting. Baekhyun handed him both the glass and the phone, still standing close to wait for Jongdae to finish his glass.

“Thank you.” Jongdae said and handed him the glass back, now scrolling through his phone. It was already 10 am, and his phone had hundreds of notifications to read.

“You want to eat breakfast? I told the nurse to serve it once you are awake. The doctor already gave the green light for you to be discharged this morning, he told me and Chanyeol a few things about your condition.” Jongdae nodded, acknowledging his words while Baekhyun put the glass back on the table. “Chanyeol came around 6 am like that, he brought you some new clothes. And his card, for the payment.” Baekhyun finally sat back on the chair, but eyes still concerned.

“I don’t feel like eating. You can tell me what the doctor said later.” Jongdae now felt more awaken, now that he had a lot to reply to and a CEO to callback. “Let me do a phone call first.” He put the phone on his ear, and Baekhyun understood not to say a word to give Jongdae the silence.

“Hello, Sir.” Jongdae said when the call was connected. “Yes, I’m fine. I just woke up, so sorry that I missed your call.” Jongdae must had been calling the CEO. “Please don’t worry, it’s just like what Chanyeol said. Yes, Byun Baekhyun ate something that probably triggered my asthma and was standing close to me. Maybe something from his clothes too, he didn’t even do anything bad, my body just unfortunately got triggered.”

Baekhyun stiffened as he listened to the conversation, Chanyeol must had told the CEO a false story and now Jongdae had to lie too. His guilt came again, he ducked his head involuntarily. “Yes, I can assure you there’s nothing wrong with Baekhyun. He’s an old friend of mine too, I don’t get triggered just by standing close to him.” Another hit on Baekhyun’s face. Old friend. Jongdae was referring him as old friend instead of best friend or close friend.

“Thank you, Sir. I’ll rest well for today. I’m so sorry again to cause a problem.” He paused for a while, hand quickly tugged at Baekhyun’s arm to get his attention which Baekhyun quickly tilted his head back to look at Jongdae. “Reporters...” _Is there any reporter outside?_ He mouthed to Baekhyun. Baekhyun shook his head, no one was out there as far as he knew. “No reporters outside so I guess it didn’t reach them.” Jongdae sighed in relief too as he said the sentence. “Yes, Sir. I’m so sorry again. Okay, have a nice day too.” He ended the call and sighed again.

“Is there anything I can help with?” Baekhyun asked, guilt was now a permanent tone in his voice.

Jongdae looked at him for a while before answering. “I really just want to go back home soon. Can I ask you to settle the payment and take my medicine for me? Usually Chanyeol or Sehun did this kind of thing for me so I’m not really familiar...” He asked hesitantly.

“Don’t worry. I’ll do it.” Baekhyun quickly cut him, understood that Jongdae’s dependency for other people was due to his idol status.

“Thanks. I’ll have a quick shower while you’re at it and then we can leave the hospital.” Jongdae said and tried to move his leg to stand up. It wasn’t pain, just that he was too weak, probably due to the medication.

“Can you stand up? Do you need help?” Baekhyun quickly stood to help Jongdae, hand already on Jongdae’s arm and shoulder.

Jongdae knew it wasn’t because of Baekhyun that he was palpitated last night, his body didn’t push Baekhyun now, and that was good enough to cheer Jongdae a little bit. “It’s okay, I’ll move slowly.” He put a foot slowly on the floor, and somehow managed to stand steadily with both foot under Baekhyun’s care. “Did Chanyeol gave you an extra mask? Use it, people might recognize you.” Jongdae slowly walk at the heap of clothes that Chanyeol left, found an extra mask and gave it to Baekhyun.

“It’s okay. I don’t mind people seeing me.” Baekhyun refused it kindly. “I’ll leave after you enter the shower room.” Now his whole body refused to leave the ward, afraid something might happen to Jongdae.

“I’m fine, Baekhyun, really. I’m not wounded, just weak. I’ll take it slow.” Jongdae squeezed Baekhyun’s arm lightly before entering the shower room.

That was the thing with Jongdae that made him so easy to love. His every being was full of kindness, despite whatever Baekhyun threw at him all these times, 5 years included, and Jongdae still managed to spread his kindness somehow.

“I’ll pay your fee first then.” Baekhyun said and soon Jongdae locked the shower room.

It took Baekhyun half an hour to settle the payment and took Jongdae’s medicines, and by the time he returned to Jongdae’s ward, Jongdae already finished changing his clothes and readjusting his black soulmate band. Jongdae caught Baekhyun’s eyes who were eyeing the band, but both didn’t say anything about it, the silence was somehow getting thick for no apparent reason.

“I’ll get a taxi and go back home then.” Jongdae said, slowly collecting his belongings.

“I...” Baekhyun hesitated but continued anyway. “I brought a car. I can send you home.”

“You already have a car?” Jongdae mentally slapped himself as fast as he asked that question. Of course Baekhyun could buy a car now, Baekhyun was probably as rich as him now or maybe richer.

“Just arrived from London last week.” Baekhyun smiled fondly. “My first and only car. I can send you home, and I don’t want Chanyeol to murder me if anything happen to you anyway.”

Jongdae gave it a thought for a while. Truthfully he wasn’t afraid of hailing a cab, he often did it whenever Sehun or Chanyeol couldn’t accompany him somewhere else but he was worried of his condition too since he was still weak and would prefer to have a company. But to have Baekhyun as a company was another whole story...

“It’s okay if you don’t want too...”

“Where did you park?” Jongdae asked. Damn reverse psychology.

“Basement parking.” Baekhyun now started to help collecting Jongdae’s items.

“Let’s go then.”

They left after made sure that they didn’t leave anything behind. Jongdae was uncomfortable despite wearing a mask and a beanie, any news of him sighted at a hospital wasn’t going to be a good one. But Jongdae couldn’t walk as fast as usual too due to his weak condition and he was clearly frustrated since even the walk to the elevator from his room took them a while, Baekhyun could see the frustration as clear as day.

“Stay close with me.” Baekhyun, who was wearing a mask too now, said to Jongdae and walked close in front of him.

It was out of habit really, when Jongdae automatically linked his right arm with Baekhyun’s left arm. He did that with Chanyeol, he did that with Sehun. He did that when he sensed a source of comfort.

“Sorry, I—“ Jongdae removed his hand quickly, only to be grabbed back by Baekhyun who linked their arms again.

“It’s okay. Better this way.” Baekhyun replied, short.

The rest of the walk towards Baekhyun’s car was in silence, Jongdae steadily held onto Baekhyun. They finally arrived at a black Audi, Baekhyun grabbed the handle at the driver’s side and it unlocked the whole car.

They were still in silence after they were seated inside the car. There were both a sense of familiarity and a sense of something new in the air, both didn’t know how to act with each other.

“Where should I drop you? Dorm?” Baekhyun finally asked after starting the engine.

“No, I just want to return home.”

“Where is it then?” Baekhyun already tapped on the navigation, ready to put the address.

“.....That studio apartment.”

“Oh.”

That was the only word left from Baekhyun’s mouth whereas in his brain, there were more than ten questions, already discussing with themselves inside.

He didn’t need a navigation for that, he knew the place like the back of his hand, so he stepped on the gas and exited the parking area.

The whole ride was filled with silence, except for the slow ballads that Baekhyun played for their listening. Jongdae didn’t mind tho, he loved ballads and Baekhyun loved ballads too, their common interest with each other.

“Go to the basement parking. You can drop me off there.” Jongdae finally spoke, when they were close to the apartment.

“Okay.” Baekhyun understood, Jongdae didn’t want any strangers to see him entering the building since he was an idol.

Baekhyun entered the basement parking, but he was driving too slow, way too slow, Jongdae started to wonder if anything was wrong.

“You have...an empty parking lot?” Baekhyun finally asked. “I mean, there are some people waiting for elevator there.” He pointed at the elevator area which was see through because of the glass panel. “Don’t think you want to ride it with them, we can wait until the coast is clear...”

For Jongdae, it wasn’t that hard to understand Baekhyun. Even after his absence in these five years, he still could read Baekhyun easily. Baekhyun was hesitating to leave Jongdae, and Jongdae tried his best to hide his smile.

“I don’t have a car.” He answered. “Go at the corner over there. There are two empty lots. That’s mine.”

Baekhyun drove to the direction that Jongdae just showed, and parked his car smoothly. “It’s okay, I don’t mind waiting.”

“I don’t said anything.” Jongdae replied back, now quite amused with Baekhyun’s behaviour.

They waited for the group of people to ride the elevator and now there was no one waiting for the elevator, but Baekhyun still hadn’t unlocked the door.

“Baekhyun...”

“Huh? What? Oh, sorry.” Baekhyun was startled from his thoughts and quickly pressed the button to unlock the door.

“Do you remember the chicken rice shop owns by an extremely talkative aunty with curly hair just around the corner?”

“Huh?”

“I want my usual order, or whatever they have now if you don’t remember my usual anymore. I didn’t change the entrance code and passcode for the house, you can enter freely anytime. I didn’t change my phone number too, if you don’t remember the codes anymore. But if you don’t remember my phone number too, go ask Chanyeol. Exit the car 10 minutes after I left. I’ll be waiting at home.”

Jongdae quickly exited the car and steadily walked towards the elevator. The truth was he himself didn't know where did he find the courage to say those words at Baekhyun, let alone to invite Baekhyun back to his place. Their home. And he didn't really want to sound too petty, but at least he could demand some few things from Baekhyun after Baekhyun made him suffer last night.

The keypad lock of his home did beep some 45 minutes after that, which told him that someone tried to enter his house. And succeed under one attempt. And Baekhyun's head slowly peeked into the apartment.

"Jongdae..." Baekhyun whispered timidly, unsure himself of what should he do now.

Jongdae was laying on the couch, typing something on his phone. The Kims + The Managers chatroom was super active, Jongdae now was too lazy to reassure them again and again that he was fine.

"Hello... Jongdae..." Baekhyun called out again from the front door, and Jongdae now stood, slowly walked towards the door.

"Are you busy today? Did you buy for yourself too?" He asked, one arm already reached out for one of the takeout bag. Baekhyun certainly didn't buy for one person only, but Baekhyun refused to give him the bag anyway.

"No, I already told Yixing to take over for today. Ah, yes. I bought for myself too."

Jongdae looked at Baekhyun for a moment. Baekhyun clearly looked like a mess. "Want to eat with me? Not sure if you already eaten or not."

"It's...okay with you?"

"Yeah, and if it's okay with you too."

"Sure...I'm actually starving."

"Come in then, make yourself at home." Jongdae nearly flinched at his own words. Home. This place was their home.

He walked towards the dining table and placed his phone on the table, tried to disconnect his brain from the past.

"Okay, thank you..." Baekhyun entered hesitantly, removing his shoes slowly.

"Put the food on the table. I'll go get chopsticks and spoons."

Baekhyun nodded, slowly entering the apartment. His movement glitched every second, as he observed the place one by one. The place still looked the same, but different in so many ways. Jongdae already changed the paint, before it was only the plain white walls, now it was a mixture of light maroon and dark grey walls. The coach at the living room area changed into a much more comfier coach, the TV was wider. The new dining table now looked more sturdy. Jongdae changed the bed too, still queen size mattress, but some elegant headpiece now decorated the bed. Jongdae now had a proper wardrobe cabinet, no longer the simple white rack that they shared before.

"I'm asking you what did you buy." Jongdae's voice shook Baekhyun from his thoughts.

"Dak gomtang." Baekhyun finally put the bags on the table. "I ordered two, one for you and one for me." His voice was steady, and Jongdae knew Baekhyun was confident that he didn't order the wrong food.

Baekhyun ordered it right, he loved the chicken soup from that shop the most. And the fact that Baekhyun still remembered the codes warmed his heart, even before the warmth from the food warm his body.

"Let's eat then." Jongdae poured a mineral water into two glasses, and handed one to Baekhyun who already took out the food from the bag.

"There is one pill that you need to eat before meal." Baekhyun nearly whined when he said that, saw the medicine bag on the table and picked it up before waving it in front of Jongdae.

"You sound just like Chanyeol." Jongdae sighed, he took the bag and examined the medicine inside.

"You need to have another checkup on the next 2 weeks. The doctor already told Chanyeol about that." Baekhyun said again, pushed a bowl of dak gomtang towards Jongdae.

"Okay, okay. I will." He read one packet of medicine and took one pill from it. He is really familiar with the pills now but I didn't even know that his asthma is getting worser, Baekhyun thought to himself.

"What?" Jongdae asked after swallowing the pill.

"Nothing, let's eat then." Baekhyun opened the cover lid and started to eat, Jongdae dug in too after took a sip from his glass.

They ate in silence, both were too deep in their own thoughts. Baekhyun slowly chewed a slice of chicken, staring emptily at his soup for a while, and after he gathered all his courage inside of him, he finally looked at Jongdae who was staring at his food too.

"I'm sorry."

Jongdae's eyes met Baekhyun's once Baekhyun said those words. He was searching, racking whatever Baekhyun gave away in his stares.

"For everything. For leaving you just like that. For last night. For every pain I gave you. I'm so sorry."

Baekhyun's eyes were sincere, laced with guilt and regret. Jongdae looked back at his soup. "I can't really say it's okay but then again, you didn't know. For last night. I mean." He paused, both knew about what Jongdae would say next. "If you're talking about years ago, again, I can't say it's okay, but look at what it brings you." Jongdae finally looked back at Baekhyun. "It brings you to a place I can't bring you, it gives you your dream, you successfully achieved your dream, something you can't achieve if you stay with me." Both were silent for a while, before Jongdae continued his words. "I guess it's okay, for both situations. We somehow turned out to be okay."

Jongdae always the calm one in their relationship, the one who less likely to act according to his emotions compared to Baekhyun, and the one with more empathy and consideration. The water to Baekhyun's raging fire, but it was probably still not enough to tame the fire.

Or maybe his water was approaching Baekhyun's fire in a wrong way, 5 years ago.

"I'm sorry I didn't contact you at all, I--"

"Baekhyun, not now. I’m not in the mood to talk about it now." Jongdae cut his words, his heart somehow throbbing with pain. He could accept apologies, but he didn't want to hear any reasons. He didn’t mean to run away but any reasons to him now, when he was on his weakest state, would just look like some lame excuses.

"I'm sorry..." Baekhyun repeated. “For kissing you without your consent too...”

The heavy silence was too awkward for Baekhyun, he contemplated to just run and leave the apartment.

“Why did you do that?”

Baekhyun frowned, almost too embarrassed when he answered, “You’re the only person I ever kissed and I don’t really want to make a fool of myself...”

Jongdae couldn’t believe his ears. Baekhyun never kissed anyone else? While living abroad? “Yixing?”

Baekyun nearly scoffed. “I told you guys I’ve nothing going on with him.”

Jongdae didn’t continue the conversation, his head was in a mess trying to understand what was going on.

"Jongdae...can we...can we--"

"I'm soulmated, Baekhyun. I need to make it clear with you about that." Jongdae cut his words again, this time sharp. Even his stares for Baekhyun was sharp, cutting everything, every hope in Baekhyun's eyes, and accidentally cutting Jongdae's own heart too, bleeding painfully.

"Oh."

Baekhyun still didn't believe in soulmate system, but Jongdae apparently still held strong with the system and now Jongdae was already soulmated? Baekhyun really wanted to laugh at himself out of pity.

"I mean...can we be friends again?" Baekhyun restructured his words, but pain somehow lingered in those words.

Jongdae gave the words a long thought. How could he say yes when his heart wanted more but they couldn't be more? He could turn a blind eye on his soulmate who made it clear that he or she, Jongdae had no idea himself, that they didn't want Jongdae. But he couldn't turn a blind eye on his dating ban. Not when The Kims was now literally his everything, more than Baekhyun himself, and he would do his everything to make sure The Kims was out of scandal. But then, how could he say no when his every being wanted to connect with Baekhyun again?

"Okay." He finally answered. "Slowly, I guess."

"Slow is better than nothing." Baekhyun said, now chewing the tip of his chopstick, out of habit.

The silence was back, engulfing them with their thoughts, but a few minutes later Jongdae was seriously experiencing a brain fog. Must had been the medicine he took before the meal.

"You want to stay here for a while? Chanyeol texted me that he’ll visit me some time on the evening so you can stay until he arrives. I'm sorry but I'm starting to get drowsy." He grabbed the medicine bag, took a few pills and swallowed them altogether. "Wait here, I'll go take some clothes that you can wear." He left the table, head no longer could think properly, and walked slowly towards his wardrobe cabinet located beside the bed to search for comfy clothes.

Baekhyun seriously didn't know how to react, a huge part of him wanted to stay, to watch over Jongdae, but a small part of him told him to have some dignity too and begged him to leave. He was standing now, wanted to say something that would not sound stupid but Jongdae's question after that halted any of Baekhyun's decision making.

"Are tee and sweatpants still okay with you? I don't have anything fancy like those stylists always wear in their social media."

"Anything yours is fine, Jongdae." He wanted to slap himself, he sounded like a pervert. "Stylists are human too. Social media is just for show off, we're using the same thing as other people."

Jongdae didn't reply his words, just quietly took a black tee and black sweatpants. "Here. New towel and extra toothbrush in the bathroom, inside the cabinet. I might have new boxers still inside the box there too, use one if you want too." Jongdae said, face as straight as he could. "Use the toiletries however you like." He handed the clothes at Baekhyun who already walked towards him.

"Thanks." Baekhyun took the clothes, awkwardly standing in front of Jongdae.

"I really just want to sleep again, Baekhyun. Go watch Netflix or whatever, I don’t mind. If you want to leave, it's okay too. Leave the table, I'll clean it up later." Jongdae told him before crashing the bed, somehow he wished they didn't choose a studio apartment before. There was literally no privacy, and for the first time since he owned the apartment, he felt so shy around his own place. Weird.

"Okay." Baekhyun just stared at him, Jongdae still took the right side of the bed, just like before. Did Jongdae really only sleep on one side all this while or Jongdae gave some hidden hint--

He shook himself out of his thoughts, and realized that Jongdae already fell asleep. The amount of trust Jongdae still had with him to the point that he let Baekhyun stayed in the apartment while he was sleeping spoke volume, and Baekhyun truly was grateful for that.

And that was enough for him at that time.

* * *

"Jonggggggggg....in." Chanyeol entered the apartment, initially wanted to shout Jongdae's name since the apartment was dark, the only source of light was the light peeking from the small gap between the curtains, but even that wasn't bright enough since it was near to dusk now.

"What?" Jongin removed his shoes and looked at whatever caught Chanyeol's attention now.

He nearly cooed. Or maybe he already did.

It was already near 6pm, but Jongdae was still sleeping peacefully on his bed. A few metres from him was Baekhyun, also sleeping, on the couch. The scene was so peaceful, both were deep in their sleep, you would doubt those two were actually exes with a terrible breakup.

The apartment was silent, a good, peaceful kind of silent, and Chanyeol hated to disrupt the peace but he needed to wake Jongdae up. They already bought dinner for Jongdae. While parking his car just now, he saw an unfamiliar Audi on another spot for Jongdae's allocated parking spot, which they assumed was Baekhyun's.

But they didn't expect this kind of scene to greet them. They thought those two were fighting and maybe throwing things for hours since both of them stopped replying Chanyeol at almost the same time. Wild imagination.

"Should we wake them up?" Chanyeol asked, turned towards Jongin who really was capturing the scene in front of them.

"For safekeeping." Jongin said, happily zooming the shots that he took. "Ah, please, wake Jongdae up. He needs to eat something. I don't know about Baekhyun tho."

Chanyeol nodded and started to approach the bed. He slowly sat on the empty side of the bed and shook Jongdae's leg slowly. "Jongdae...wake up. It's already 6pm."

Jongdae stirred, annoyed by the sudden disturbance, but then he wheezed due to the sudden sharp intake of breath that he took.

"Hey, breathe. It's me. At your place." Chanyeol quickly reassured Jongdae.

Jongdae inhaled again, confused. "What time is it? Baekhyun?"

Chanyeol really wanted to tease him for searching for Baekhyun right after he woke up but chose to ignore that for the meantime. "Nearly 6. Baekhyun is still sleeping on the couch."

"Oh." There was relief in Jongdae's simple oh. "You just arrived?" He slowly sat up.

"Yes, with Jongin." Jongin waved from the dining table, he sat there since he didn't want to disturb Baekhyun. "We brought you porridge, for your dinner."

"But I just had a meal before I sleep." Jongdae whined, still half asleep.

Chanyeol raised an eyebrow. Jongdae seriously ate with Baekhyun? "Eat it later then. You want to continue sleeping?"

"Can I? I don't feel like doing anything."

Chanyeol's phone chose to ring at that time, loudly, that it startled Baekhyun from his sleep to the point that he immediately sat up on the couch.

“Sorry.” Chanyeol said to the panicked Baekhyun and picked up his phone. “Yes, Kyungsoo. Jongdae is fine.” He walked towards the window and continued his conversation.

Baekhyun, who still couldn’t quite grasp at what was happening, stared at Jongin who was staring back at him. Jongin smiled kindly at him before spoke out. “Nice t-shirt. Looks familiar.”

Baekhyun immediately crossed his arms in front of his chest, suddenly aware of everything, felt like a stranger now in that apartment. “I should get going.” He stood, and found Jongdae’s eyes who were looking at him from his bed. “Your clothes...”

“Return it later. I’ve other clothes that I can use.” Jongdae quickly replied, saw no use in asking Baekhyun to change to his dirty clothes back when he could offer him his clothes.

“Thanks...I should really get going...”

“Go check on yourself first in the mirror, Baekhyun. I don’t think Jongdae will mind.” Jongin gestured at Jongdae’s vanity area, half amused with Baekhyun’s behavior which was so different from the usual confident Baekhyun.

Jongdae just nodded, and Baekhyun slowly walked towards the long standing mirror. He didn’t look so bad, thanks to a shower he took when Jongdae was asleep. He restyled his hair with his fingers, smoothed the t-shirt, and he was back as Byun Baekhyun the renowned stylist.

“Thank you so much for taking care of Jongdae!” Chanyeol shouted from his position before resuming his conversation on the phone.

Baekhyun gave Chanyeol a nervous smile, before finally looked at Jongdae. “Rest well. I’ll bring the clothes with me when I go to the agency.”

“Thank you for your time too.” Jongdae replied, didn’t really know what to say to Baekhyun. He knew actually, but he couldn’t say it anyway.

“No problem...” He collected his dirty clothes which he already folded outside the bathroom. There really was no privacy in that studio apartment and to be watched by three men certainly was too much for him. “Take care then.” Baekhyun bowed his head at three of them, Chanyeol and Jongin were waving at him as he walked towards the door.

“Drive safely, Baekhyun. Thank you for watching Jongdae this whole day.” Jongin said, approaching him from behind.

“It’s alright. I’m the reason for this mess anyway. I’m leaving then, have a good day, Jongin.” Baekhyun opened the front door, took a quick glance inside the apartment, sighed silently as he left the apartment.

Jongin quickly ran towards the bed and jumped on the empty side, Jongdae already laid back and covered himself head to toe with blanket. “Come on, Jongdae!!! You’ve a lot of storytelling to do!!!”

“Go away.” Jongdae replied, a heavy feeling stayed with him after Baekhyun left the apartment.

He almost called out to Baekhyun to never leave the apartment, to never leave him again.

But who was he to say so now that Baekhyun had a life without Jongdae.

* * *

"You want to get back with him, right?"

Baekhyun was deep in his thoughts when Yixing made that statement. He was currently observing the Spring and Summer past collections catalogue from Gucci and Balenciaga, which already agreed to sponsor The Kims' latest comeback. The Kims already underwent songs selection meeting last week, and based from the tracks chosen, they concluded that they would sing heavily influenced with R&B songs with a moderately hard choreography in mind.

Baekhyun stopped looking at the clothes cut outs in front of him. "I always want him."

"Ever since I know you, I've never heard you want another person." Yifan voiced out. He was in Korea for a photoshoot, and chose to linger for a few days to spend time with Yixing, and Baekhyun too.

Baekhyun sighed, he tried so hard not to think about the problem of his feelings after what he did to Jongdae the last 2 weeks. "I already made a fool of myself when I can't even manage to get more than 100 words from his mouth." Jongdae changed, and that was Baekhyun's fault.

"At least he isn't mad at you. Based on what you said obviously." Yixing said as he crossed his legs, eyes fixed on Baekhyun who was sitting in front of him.

They were inside of Baekhyun's personal office, also acted as the office for Korean branch for Prive Cosmetics. Baekhyun had his own office inside of MS Entertainment, given by the agency, but he still had no courage to stay under on roof with Jongdae after the incident.

"I don't know. He didn't look like he wanted to talk much with me." Baekhyun commented short. "I need opinions, all those guys can flaunt red hues perfectly, right?" He asked, immersed back on his work.

MS Entertainment already sent Baekhyun the demo of the 7 chosen tracks and the proposed schedule for The Kims, soon the meeting for the album's art directing would be held and he needed to have a solid material for the meeting.

"What kind of red are you talking about?" Yifan, who was sitting beside Yixing, leaned forward to look at the catalogue and papers on the table.

"Spring kind of red. Their comeback is scheduled on early March. September is approaching soon, I need to have the suits ready by at least by early January." Baekhyun replied. He mixed and matched the cut outs, his usual way to create a style. Yixing and Yifan just watched him work, they knew better not to disturb Baekhyun.

"Wine kind of red, brown mixed with red, soft pink mixed with red, warm red. You know better the specific name of those red." Yixing said as he looked at the 4 completed cut outs that Baekhyun managed to create. "Funny I can imagine who get which color now that you created those styles."

"Merlot for Jongin." Baekhyun labeled Jongin under cut outs of long merlot jacket with white shirt. "Biking red for Minseok, he suited leather trouser the most." He proceeded to label Minseok under cut outs of black turtleneck and biking red leather trouser. "Junmyeon can flaunt cranberry color, his skin tone is perfect for it." Junmyeon was labeled for cut outs of velvet fitted jacket in cranberry color with black pants. "And...summer fig color for Jongdae. He is...the warmest." Cut outs of a warm red sweater and black satin pants was labeled as Jongdae.

"Your mind is something else, not everyone can imagine and style as easy as what you just did." Yifan spoke, he always in awe with the way Baekhyun created a style.

"It's not only the skin color, we have to think from head to toe, the face, the body figure. I'm still not satisfied with these. We need to put some accessories on them too." Baekhyun replied, eyebrows frowned. He was totally in his element.

"Pink hues, yellow hues, green hues, cream hues. You still have a lot of color to play with if we're playing with spring and summer collections." Yixing reminded him.

"Yeah, but their art director told me that the album might emphasized on red color this time." Baekhyun replied, still frowning.

"Who is the art director? Someone we know?" Yixing asked.

"Kibum. That mighty Kibum." Baekhyun sighed. Kibum wasn't an easy person to please but his creativity was endless.

"Wow, seriously? So this album's art will be a birthchild of Kibum and you? Holy, now I really can't wait!" Yixing said, clearly excited.

"He worked as stage director for Charms' runway a few times, his style is quite abstract." Yifan commented too, he was Charms' permanent runway model.

"I know, that's why I'm under a lot of stress and now I'm hungry. Let's go for a lunch?" Baekhyun asked and the other two quickly nodded.

The summer air was clearly getting a lot colder and dryer, as they were now approaching autumn. Jongdae's birthday would soon come, but it had been a while since he celebrated Jongdae’s birthday. 4 years to be exact, 4 times he wasn't there to celebrate Jongdae’s birthday together. He launched Prive Cosmetics on Jongdae’s birthday last 2 years, but nothing could replace Jongdae’s own presence on Jongdae’s birthday. And now the fifth year, he was closer to Jongdae physically, but Jongdae still felt too far from him. He sighed silently as he cut the steak in front of him, he always thought of Jongdae everywhere now.

The restaurant that they were eating at then played a hit song from The Kims, a wonderful ballad about searching the whole universe just to meet the person that they loved again. Baekhyun stopped chewing as he listened to the song. He remembered a viral story on the social media of how Jongdae once couldn't sing his part during their tour because he was crying so bad when The Kims sang the song, and Baekhyun couldn't help but to hope that Jongdae was probably thinking of him when he sang the song, just like how Baekhyun thought of Jongdae whenever he listened to the song. He was still strongly attached to Jongdae.

"Baekhyun?" Yixing called out his name, concern was clear on his face.

Baekhyun just shook his head weakly and continued to eat his steak. His thoughts were still full of Jongdae. Sure he could act professional when they were talking about work, but suddenly the thought of looking into Jongdae's eyes made Baekhyun restless again.

Baekhyun excused himself after the lunch, decided to go to MS Entertainment's building, too longing to see Jongdae again. He had no idea where was Jongdae, only tried his luck as he parked and exited his car, quickly ran inside the building. Everything happened so fast, everything seemed to blur due to the speed from his run, when finally he reached the recording studios area. He had no idea which booth, he had no idea if Jongdae was even in the building or not, but his instinct told him to open that recording booth situated farthest from the entrance.

"Baekhyun?" Jongdae said, startled when he saw Baekhyun entered the booth.

"Jongdae." That was all Baekhyun could say.

Jongdae was now confused. "Baekhyun, what's happening?"

"Jongdae." Baekhyun tried, honestly, he tried to say other word besides Jongdae.

"What is it?" Jongdae's face turned into worried.

Baekhyun quickly shook his head. "Jongdae."

Jongdae slowly approached him. "What? I'm here, what is it you want to say?"

"Jongdae. You. Jongdae." Baekhyun's brain was in major error.

Jongdae started to think maybe Baekhyun was drunk. "Baekhyun, say it."

"Universe. I love that song."

If Jongdae only knew Baekhyun for one day, he might drag Baekhyun to a hospital now for a mental checkup. "And why're you telling me that now?"

"Do you know how we the non believers think of our soulmate? We don't really chose our own soulmates too, just like you guys the believers. I've never said this out loud to you because I only understand it myself recently, but my heart, my body, my brain, my whole universe are pointing me to my soulmate. It's not me and my own choice alone, it's the whole universe telling me this person is my soulmate. That's how the non-believers know they met their soulmates. When the universe help them to go to that one person, only that one person. That's how we know."

Jongdae was speechless. He was training his vocal and revising the songs he needed to record soon peacefully, alone, in this booth when suddenly this person barged in and gave him a talk about soulmate out of the blue. He looked at Baekhyun, Baekhyun was serious, his tone was serious, his face was serious, and Jongdae had no words to reply to this person who was so serious with his words.

They continued to just stare at each other. Jongdae was breathing deeply, tried his best not to kick Baekhyun out of the room for disturbing him. Instead, he tried to process whatever Baekhyun was trying to tell him. Baekhyun rarely talked straight to the point when it was about something serious, always laced his words with something else, and it had been a while since Jongdae did the task of revealing Byun Baekhyun's true thoughts.

"I guess, yeah, acceptable too." Jongdae finally replied. But he still couldn't get what Baekhyun tried to tell him. "Instinct, they said."

Baekhyun's face fell, and Jongdae knew he needed to try harder since he just gave Baekhyun a wrong answer. As if Baekhyun needed an answer from the first place. "It's not instinct."

Jongdae stared again, tried to look deeper inside Baekhyun's eyes, tried to at least reach the idea that Baekhyun wanted to convey. But Jongdae was quick to close his eyes; when his heart seemed to found it, when his body reacted to it, when his brain told him that was it, when his whole universe was pointing to it. It was so simple, it was in the air.

Baekhyun wanted him back, Baekhyun believed that Jongdae was his soulmate, in the alternate soulmate's belief that Baekhyun trusted in.

Jongdae took another breath. Not now. Not when he would start recording the final album before they could sign off the dating ban. Not when he needed to keep The Kims' record clean from any scandals. He could date, but that was unfair to the other members who worked so hard to keep the good name of their group too. Less than a year, they could restart this talk again, and he could answer Baekhyun differently.

But not now, he couldn't be selfish, not when his members were sacrificing too.

He looked at Baekhyun again.

Baekhyun flinched.

And he knew Baekhyun probably got his answer.

_No soulmate talk for the time being._

Baekhyun himself broke off their equivalent-to-soulmate relationship before, so Jongdae wanted to have a say this time.

_Not now, Baekhyun. Not now._

* * *

Kim Jongin was soulmated. With Oh Sehun.

The incident was equivalent to a black comedy, since it happened without warning, right in front of Mr Lee himself.

It happened 3 years ago, when Jongin received a lot of offers to be in photoshoot, to walk in runway, and more interviews to attend. So Mr Lee decided to assign a personal manager for Jongin since his schedule differed greatly with the rest of The Kims.

Sehun at that time was still an assistant, but he did his work so well and efficiently, Mr Lee promoted him to be Jongin's personal manager since Jongin mixed well with Sehun and Sehun mixed well with The Kims.

They were in a private meeting with only Mr Lee and the managers, which were Chanyeol, Kyungsoo and Sehun, for The Kims' album sales when Mr Lee handed Sehun the official offer letter to be a manager, specifically as Jongin's manager. Just as Sehun touched the letter, both Jongin and Sehun winced in extreme pain that it caught everyone's attention. Both of them experienced the pain at the same place, the left wrist.

And to Sehun's horror, Mr Lee noticed the name that was just freshly carved on his left wrist since he took the letter using his left hand.

Kim Jongin was written neatly on his left wrist.

Mr Lee quickly looked at Jongin, who was clearly panicked too, hiding his wrist quickly from anyone to see.

"You know I actually have nothing with you guys dating..." Mr Lee leaned back on his chair, sighing weakly. "It's more for your own good. 7 years are enough to have a steady fandom of your own. And 7 years are enough to make the young fans gain the maturity to accept that you guys would have your own love life too." Mr Lee's tone was serious, and now everyone was paying attention to him. "I'll not ask you to think of me as your second parents, I admit that I'm lacking in so many aspects too. But the dating ban is mostly to protect you guys from the outsiders, those who have bad intentions with you guys, by attacking your personal lives. And I, as the leader of this agency, have to make sure you guys safe from those kind of people, hence the need for the dating ban. It’s not to deny you guys a love life, it’s more to protect you guys from becoming a victim of gossips and scandals.” He paused, tried to make sure everyone in the room to understand his word. “And for your popularity, of course. Young fans love the idea of a guy similar to the idol that they love, and they love the idea of owning their idols even though they actually didn’t have the slightest idea of who you are behind the camera. I still believe that an attached or married idol will still be popular no matter what happen, but then the fans’ attachment is something we need to consider too. That’s why I believe 7 years will be enough for them to accept any dating or soulmate news from you guys.”

The people in the meeting room understood, The Kims understood, the managers understood. It was for everyone’s sake that the ban was there in the first place. It was a disguise, more like a barrier for the media to never ask anything about their love lives and soulmates matter in interviews, since everyone in the agency was supposed to be in a dating ban in their first 7 years as an idol. And a subtle warning for the idols that did date secretly, to make it a secret until the ban expired.

“I’m not going to make Jongin quit The Kims just because he’s soulmated now, nor do I’ll fire Sehun from this agency. That didn’t make any sense.” Mr Lee looked at both of them as he said it. “But I’ve to take back the offer letter, I couldn’t risk the two of you always together. Soulmates always react strongly with each other, we can’t risk the possibility of fans knowing that.”

“I...can suggest something?” Minseok asked, a little bit hesitant.

“Sure. Go ahead.” Mr Lee replied.

“All of the members can use a soulmate band after this, including the managers. Jongin and Sehun obviously have to use it but to only let both of them using it will create a curiosity from other people too. I’ve no problem to use it until the 7 years term ended. How about you guys?”

Everyone shook their heads as a sign that they too had no problem wearing the band. Jongin and Sehun looked relief, but worried were still on their faces.

“After all, there are lots of trendy band in the market now, the luxury brand even made their own soulmate bands too.” Chanyeol added in. “Don’t worry, I think that’s a brilliant idea, Minseok.”

Mr Lee nodded in agreement, soulmate band was certainly needed for The Kims now. “As for Jongin’s personal manager, I believe we can change it into Chanyeol. Let Sehun help Kyungsoo to manage the other three. Can you do it, Chanyeol?” Mr Lee stole a quick glance at Jongdae, who just smiled back at him.

Jongdae had no problem now to touch The Kims and the managers, Sehun included. He was fine with Sehun, he didn’t react badly with him anymore.

“I’m okay if Sehun is okay with it.” Chanyeol said as he looked at Sehun.

Sehun was still looked surprise and out of words, but then it was normal for anyone who just found out that they were soulmated. And the fact that Sehun was soulmated to Jongin was another surprise for him, for they only interacted platonically all this time.

“I— yes, of course, yes, I’m okay with it.” Sehun finally said after a few moment of silence.

“Sort out the soulmate thing between you two as soon as possible.” Mr Lee spoke again. “I’ll appreciate it if you guys chose not to date, but then again, if you’re going to date, at least don’t let me know.” His voice was firm, served as a warning, not to just Jongin and Sehun but to everyone else in that room.

Jongin and Sehun did agree a few things after that meeting. They agreed to stay as friends until the dating ban ended. Initially, the others were doubting if they would really just stay friends even after the confirmation as each other’s soulmate.

But they indeed stayed true to their words. They were still friends, the touches were friendly, they didn’t go to any dates, their jokes were still harsh. The only thing that would sell them away was their fond stares for each other, and the bright smile whenever they were together.

And the other members really respected Jongin for that. Jongin was the youngest among them but he didn’t use that title to do whatever he wanted to do. Jongin put The Kims above all, and the other members were determined to put The Kims above all too.

And Jongdae couldn’t show a bad example when Jongin was disciplined enough to follow the dating ban.

No, he really shouldn’t think about dating or love now, even with the return of Byun Baekhyun.

* * *

Jongdae was invited to sing at the Asia Film Awards in Macau on a day before his birthday, not that he cared much about his birthday, since the song that he sang for the movie Lights Out was nominated in the Best Original Song category. It was truly an honor for him to have a song that he provided his voice with and penned the song himself to be nominated in an award, in Asian level too. It wasn’t easy, since the winners were judge by professionals and not by votings from the public. Jongdae arrived three days prior before the award ceremony was held, since he needed to meet Jeon PD again, who happened to be invited to attend the award ceremony too. He came with Chanyeol, since Jongin hadn’t personal schedule in that one week, and because Chanyeol could speak Cantonese better than Sehun. They needed to re-record some few stuffs, and since it was extremely hard for them to meet at Korea, they decided to do it at Macau. With the help of a local Macau producer which happened to be Jeon PD’s friend, who was kind enough to rent his whole studio for them, they managed to settle the re-recording before the day of the ceremony.

They stayed at Venetian Hotel throughout their trip in Macau, which was also where the award would be held. Only the two of them were there, the other staffs were scheduled to arrive in Macau at the afternoon before the ceremony began. The ceremony would only began on the evening, so they thought they would have some time to prepare on the afternoon.

“Oh God, Jongdae. Wake up!” Chanyeol immediately rushed to the bed, where Jongdae was blinking his eyes, confused. He glanced at the clock on the bedside table, 7 am. That was too early for Chanyeol to wake him up.

“What is it?” Jongdae asked, still half asleep but from Chanyeol’s tone it must be something serious.

“The crews. They can’t come here on time.” Chanyeol sat on the bed, at the empty spot beside Jongdae, face totally in trouble. “The typhoon hit the Korean Peninsula earlier than they expected. All of the flights are cancelled now because of the typhoon!”

Jongdae immediately sat up, finally understood the situation. “God, I thought the typhoon will hit the peninsula tomorrow?”

“I’m not a forecaster too, Jongdae, this sucks.”

“What should we do now? My clothes for tonight are with them. My stylists are supposed to be on that flight too.”

“I can buy the clothes here, we still have time. But, makeup...” Chanyeol stopped, in thoughts.

“We...I mean, I, I can do makeup myself. Just, just foundation and concealer, right?” Jongdae said, but he himself in hesitation. He couldn’t let other people that he wasn’t familiar with to do his makeup. He tried it before, not once but many times. But to no avail. He would sweat so much, another PTSD whenever someone he wasn’t unfamiliar with touched him, the sweat wouldn’t stop producing to the point that even retouching the makeup was useless.

“Are you crazy?” Chanyeol looked at me with big eyes. “You’re attending an international event here, only a few Koreans was chosen to attend and you tell me you want to do your own makeup? You’re an artist! Not a makeup artist! Please Jongdae, you’re not some Byun Baekhyun!” That last two words made both of them stunned, something struck in both of their brains and Jongdae dreaded the consequences. “Of course Park Chanyeol is a genius! Kyungsoo always told me that I’m a genius! Why I didn’t think of it earlier?” Chanyeol said happily, fingers active scrolling his phone.

“No Chanyeol, no. Stop. He’s here for his own event, not mine. Don’t contact him, please.” Jongdae pleaded, immediately pulled out from his comforter to beg at Chanyeol.

“But he’s The Kims’ head stylist! It’s in his contract. And your body didn’t react badly with him, I’m sure putting makeup on your face by this Byun Baekhyun wouldn’t bring you some harm.” Chanyeol said, found the name that he wanted and immediately pressed call before Jongdae could snatch his phone away.

The thing was, Baekhyun was currently in Macau too, which was completely coincidence since it was already scheduled since last year. Baekhyun would launch another flagship store of Prive Cosmetics in Macau tomorrow, in conjunction of the third anniversary for Prive Cosmetics too. No, no one really pointed out why did Baekhyun choose that date to launche Prive Cosmetics. Baekhyun was already in Macau now, Chanyeol was certain of it since he saw Baekhyun’s Instagram while scrolling his account yesterday and saw that Baekhyun posted some Macau’s food.

“Hello, Baekhyun, good morning. Am I disturbing you right now?” Chanyeol might be an ass but with other people except Jongdae, his attitude was excellent. “Oh, you’re at your store now? Actually, I want to ask for your help since you’re at Macau now. Me and Jongdae are currently in Macau too if you read The Kims’ schedule given to you. He should be attending the Asian Film Awards tonight.”

Jongdae was now sitting beside Chanyeol, face frowning. He really didn’t want to disturb Baekhyun from his event.

“You see. There’s a typhoon hitting Korea right now, and our staffs who are supposed to fly this morning didn’t get to fly now since all flights are being cancelled. Jongdae’s stylists should’ve boarded the flight and Jongdae’s clothes are with them too since me and Jongdae arrived earlier for his personal schedule.” Chanyeol paused for a while. “So I want to ask if you’ve some free time today just to make sure Jongdae is presentable enough tonight and maybe check if his makeup is good enough since he’s planning to do makeup himself.”

That earned a punch on Chanyeol’s stomach. Everyone knew Jongdae couldn’t do makeup. The most makeup that Jongdae could do was putting a lipbalm for himself. He was the member who loved raw face the most. Chanyeol winced silently, he still needed to explain to Baekhyun on the phone.

“I have some time to buy clothes and makeup stuffs for Jongdae, I just need maybe half an hour from you to check his appearance.” Chanyeol lied, but if he already understood the dynamics between Jongdae and Baekhyun now, his trick would work anyway.

Chanyeol was silence for a while, listening to what Baekhyun said and that few seconds was enough to make Jongdae so restless.

“Seriously? Yes, sure! I’ll get the pass for you, don’t worry. We’re at the Venetian Hotel, just inform me back once you’ve arrive! We’re not going anywhere too.” Chanyeol’s face now brightened up with so much relief, Jongdae now tugging his arm to tell him what Baekhyun just told him. “Thank you so much Baekhyun! Again, sorry to disturb you without a warning like this! Thank you! Take your time at your store, we’ll wait for you here! Yes, bye!”

Chanyeol ended the call and immediately turned towards Jongdae, a big grin on his face.

“Your Baekhyun is an angel! He’ll help buy new clothes for you and he’ll do the makeup for you! Wow, finally Byun Baekhyun is doing makeup for someone else besides himself again!” Chanyeol now was so happy, he stood and danced randomly in front of Jongdae.

Jongdae was truly speechless, he didn’t really know how to react. “Shouldn’t he stay at his store now since tomorrow is the grand opening?” That was the only concern for Jongdae now.

“He said he’ll finish everything in his store before noon and after that he’ll find the suitable clothes for you. And he said Yixing is here too, so Yixing can help double checking everything during his absence. Come on Jongdae! Be happy! Our problem is settled!” Chanyeol said then quickly typed on his phone. Probably to the stranded staffs and the agency to inform that they’re holding fine here now that Baekhyun was willing to help. “I’ll meet with the organizer for a while, I need a pass for Baekhyun. You can go to sleep again, I’ll come back around 10 or 11 like that. Don’t worry, okay?”

Chanyeol patted Jongdae’s shoulder, he knew Jongdae was still conflicted but that was the only way possible right now. Jongdae nodded back at him, gave him an OK sign with his fingers. “I’ll be waiting then.”

“Alright!” Chanyeol replied and left the room, leaving Jongdae with his thoughts alone.

Byun Baekhyun was really everywhere now, even when Jongdae was alone.

* * *

“I don’t remember watching you perform Lights Out anywhere else before so I don’t have any reference on what outfits I should’ve bought and Chanyeol isn’t giving much help too since he said to just buy anything white and pure so I used the movie as the reference, hope that it didn’t divert much from the original outfits that you wanted.” Baekhyun immediately explained himself once he entered Jongdae’s room that afternoon, both of his hands were full with clothes in plastic transparent cover and trolley bag which probably served as makeup bag. “Your shoes are with Chanyeol, he said he wanted to drop by the hall for a minute, rechecking the time for you to get ready for the red carpet.” 

It was weird to see Byun Baekhyun the famous fashion stylist in action. Not that he never saw one, he did once during their concert, but to gain full attention of the stylist, where every frowns and concern on Baekhyun’s face now was for him, made Jongdae kind of speechless. Baekhyun really looked like he was there as Jongdae’s stylist, completely different from the awkward Baekhyun who entered his house last month. Their house. Whatever. It was complicated. 

“If you think it fits me then I guess I’ve no problem with it.” Jongdae said, wanted to help carrying the trolley bag but Baekhyun refused to hand him. 

“Bathroom. Now. Go wash your face and brush your teeth. I’ll start doing your makeup after that.” Baekhyun said firmly, gestured to the bathroom even with the heaps of clothes on his arm. 

Jongdae really wanted to whine back, he always challenged this bossy Baekhyun but he held his tongue and changed his words last minute. “You didn’t even ask if I’ve already eaten.” 

“You haven’t got your lunch yet?” Baekhyun nearly screamed his words. It was already 3 pm, Baekhyun, by his own definition, was already late since Jongdae probably needed to get ready for red carpet on 6 pm. It would take 40 minutes for makeup, maybe 20 minutes to set Jongdae’s hair, another 20 minutes to change Jongdae’s clothes and pray to God the clothes didn’t have any wrinkles now or he might need another 20 minutes to iron the clothes. And additional one hour to make sure everything was perfect— 

“Baekhyun.” Jongdae’s voice interrupted Baekhyun from his thoughts. “I’ve already eaten, don’t worry. Give me 5 minutes. Go settle down your things.” Jongdae gave him a polite smile before entering the bathroom. 

Honestly, Baekhyun was so nervous to style Jongdae at that moment. He already styled various kinds of VIP, artists and big names, but none could compare with how nervous he was right now. 

Baekhyun hung the clothes inside the wardrobe, noticed how neatly Jongdae organized his clothes. Jongdae didn’t change much he finally decided, his habit were still there, and most importantly he started to open up again with Baekhyun. 

“I’m done.” 

Jongdae’s freshly cleaned face was one of Baekhyun’s most favorite Jongdae’s face. It smelled of mint and warm water, the fair tone was supple with no sebum could be seen, and Jongdae looked just like a baby. His only baby. Baekhyun was in awe, only lucky people could ever watch this beautiful sight. 

Baekhyun himself witnessed it thousands time and he still fell for this face. 

“Go sit in front of the dressing table, I’ll go grab my stuffs first.” Baekhyun said as he opened the trolley bag, where lots of makeup bag could be seen inside. He grabbed a few bags and placed it on the table in front of Jongdae who already sat comfortably. 

What was the definition of comfortable? Both of them suddenly deleted the word from their dictionaries when Baekhyun sat himself beside Jongdae, way too close, prepared to check Jongdae’s skin to see the best way to doll him up. 

“Sorry, it’s been a while since I do makeup for other people.” Baekhyun almost whispered, somehow forgetting the steps to do a makeup when he actually did it everyday for himself. “Is this okay? I’m not...triggering you? Our proximity like this, I mean.” 

Jongdae nodded, didn’t seem to trust his voice. It was the truth, he didn’t sweat. In fact his fingers were getting cold, and yes, his heartbeat increased. Not due to trauma. But due to Baekhyun himself. 

“I’m going to put primer first.” Baekhyun sanitized his hands quickly with a sanitizer, then glanced briefly at Jongdae who nodded again. He noticed that all those products were from Prive Cosmetics. Baekhyun would color him with his own brand. 

“Close your eyes.” Baekhyun instructed and Jongdae followed. Baekhyun sprayed the primer on Jongdae’s face evenly and let it dry for a few seconds. Baekhyun really wanted to cry, he couldn’t believe his dream to do this for Jongdae himself really came true. 

Baekhyun grabbed a bottle of hydrating oil, now moved closer towards Jongdae as he dropped the oil on Jongdae’s face carefully. “Tell me if you’re uncomfortable.” He reminded Jongdae, slowly touched both sides of Jongdae’s cheeks with his fingers. 

This is too much, Jongdae wanted to say it, but he kept his mouth shut, and continued to close his eyes to save himself from doing anything stupid. 

Baekhyun slowly spreaded the oil all over Jongdae’s face using his fingers, his heart ached and swelled both in the same time. It had been too long since he could touch Jongdae like this. 

Jongdae opened his eyes after he felt the oil was now all over his face, and he locked eyes with Baekhyun. They were conversing with voice and with eyes now, both were in two different topics. 

“I’ll fill your eyebrows first.” Baekhyun said, browsed through his pencils and chose a black eyebrow pencil. 

Jongdae closed his eyes again, and he could feel Baekhyun leaned closer to him, Baekhyun’s breaths were all over his face. He cursed the typhoon, this was too much but he tried to relax himself. 

It was perfectly normal for a makeup artist to work in silence, but this kind of silence was dangerous. This silence provoked so many things inside of Baekhyun, and he was a victim to this kind of silence. 

“Do you know why I stopped doing makeup for other people?” Baekhyun asked out of the blue. 

Jongdae contemplated for a while. Seemed like a safe topic so he answered it. “I don’t know, in magazines they only wrote that you stopped accepting requests and will only do makeup and makeup tutorial for yourself only after you launched Prive.” 

Baekhyun felt some sort of relief in that, knowing Jongdae did follow his updates somehow. He finished filling in the left eyebrow, and moved on to the right one. 

“Because everytime I’m this close with them, touch them this close, breathing this close, they’ll open their eyes slowly and suddenly invite me to go back home with them.” 

Jongdae immediately opened his eyes when he heard that, tried to find the truth in Baekhyun’s eyes. Yes, Baekhyun was telling the truth. 

“It’s tiring there, really. I couldn’t get used with the culture, but thankfully each time I refused they didn’t really push further.” Baekhyun continued, fingers still skillfully coloring Jongdae’s eyebrow. “I’m not looking for a one night stand, I’ve never been that kind of guy. They asked me to return to their home, how can I? How can I say yes when I already have my own home? When you’re my home?” 

Baekhyun halted his movements, eyes now focused on Jongdae’s, who were searching for more through his eyes. Jongdae was holding his breath, frowning when he found that Baekhyun didn’t lie. He closed his eyes back, conflicted on how to continue this topic. “You’re crazy.” Jongdae said, really wanted to end the topic because he was afraid he would let his emotions get the best of him too. 

“I’m crazy for you. You know I always do.” Baekhyun said it so effortlessly. He straightened his body, to see Jongdae’s face properly. “I want you back, Jongdae.” 

Jongdae blinked for a few times, Baekhyun certainly wasn’t playing with his words. His heartbeat increased ridiculously, as ridiculous as Baekhyun now, but then his heart always reacted this way with Baekhyun. They were a pair of combined ridiculousness. It was crazy how strongly he wanted to say yes, I want you back too but it was crazy too how fast his member’s faces flashed before his eyes. Now was not a good time, he really wanted to ask Baekhyun to be patient for a few months more but Baekhyun wasn’t a man of patience when he saw an opportunity right in front of his eyes. That was how they broke up, that was what made Baekhyun came up with those words right now too, Baekhyun reacted faster than his brain and that behavior was dangerous in this idol world that Jongdae lived in. 

“I’m soulmated, Baekhyun.” Jongdae couldn’t believe he would use his soulmate card to Baekhyun, of all people. 

“I’ll make you stop believing in your soulmate.” Baekhyun replied fast. 

Jongdae unconsciously bit his lower lip, Baekhyun was certainly crazy. “Good luck trying then.” He closed his eyes again, a sign that he wanted to end this conversation. 

“I’ll never stop trying. I’ll make you remember how wonderful we’re together.” 

Jongdae didn’t reply, really, what should he say at this moment? While battling his thoughts, a few dabs on his eyebrow told him that Baekhyun was back to his work. And when he could smell the liquid foundation was being dabbed all around his face, he finally decided to say it. “I still have a dating ban.” 

Baekhyun scoffed. “We survived that dating ban before.” 

Jongdae snapped open his eyes again. “Survive? I’m going to be honest with you now, dating secretly sucks. I don’t want to do it again, it’s low key toxic.” 

Baekhyun frowned, stared deep into Jongdae’s eyes. Jongdae rarely talked in double meaning like him, so this new piece of information from Jongdae was very surprising to Baekhyun. “I thought you’re happy at that time.” 

“I’m happy. When I’m at home, alone with you. In front of others it was straining, I feel like a fake person, acting like an unattached person when all I want is for people to respect my love life. And you.” Jongdae could feel his anger bubbling up. He never said it to other people before, but he really loathed dating in secret. 

“I’m sorry...I didn’t know.” Baekhyun apologized, guilt all over his face. 

“I’m the one with the ban baggage, you’re not at fault.” 

“But, I should’ve known.” 

“No, I dragged you into all that stress.” Jongdae sighed, and closed his eyes again. “I acted like everything was fine when there were so many things weren’t fine. It made sense in the end when you left me just like that.” 

It was a heavy sentence to say but Jongdae said it anyway. Baekhyun was dying to contradict his words, but the buzz of the phone reminded him that he was here for a job, not to have a heavy talk that would require time and peace. But time and peace were two things they didn’t have that afternoon. “Let’s talk more when we’re not at work like this. I really want to explain everything with you.” 

Jongdae didn’t react, just sat there unmoved with his eyes closed. Truthfully he wanted to drag Baekhyun and go somewhere, far from those media and cameras, so they could talk, probably mend back. He wanted to tell Baekhyun that he wanted him back too. Forget all those dating ban, his stupid soulmate. But this was the life of an idol. Cameras would follow him everywhere, waiting for him to make a single mistake so that they would have the scoop of the year. He didn’t have a choice, he mustn’t waver. 

Baekhyun just silently brushed the concealer under Jongdae’s eyes. He knew Jongdae’s silence, it meant he was considering it. He dabbed the concealer slowly, Jongdae had quite terrible eyebags, he really wanted Jongdae to have some rest. 

“You want eyeshadows?” Baekhyun asked, although he was dying to create it anyway. Jongdae had pretty eyes, to put eyeshadows would enhance his eyes more. 

Jongdae nodded, wanted to be painted more by Baekhyun. Baekhyun’s fingers were delicate, every touch healed his already too long broken heart. But then Jongdae was probably just craving for more of Baekhyun’s touch. 

Doing eyeshadow really required focus, but how could Baekhyun stay focus when Jongdae was so close and pretty in front of him like this? This was a torture, seeing Jongdae just an inch away from him was a torture, Baekhyun had to pause for a while to take a deep breath, fighting all his urge of just tilting Jongdae’s head for his own benefit. 

Jongdae noticed the absence of Baekhyun’s fingers and opened his eyes, tried to find out what was going on. But instead he looked at Baekhyun who was staring at his lips, and Jongdae nearly a lost cause. 

“I swear to God, I really want to kiss you now, Jongdae.” Baekhyun whispered, his voice was in total defeat, and he chose to close his eyes and rested his forehead on Jongdae’s instead. 

“Last time you kissed me, you really gave me the kiss of life and sent me hospitalized for a night.” He needed to answer it that way, he couldn’t fall for his lust. 

“Way to kill a mood.” Baekhyun licked his own lips, removed his forehead and sat up straight again. He stared at Jongdae for a while, Jongdae didn’t even show a tiny bit of resistance at him but Jongdae didn’t even pull him too. “Can you return back to me?” He was pleading, helplessness was clear on his face, Jongdae nearly lost his determination. 

“I don’t know. Can you wait until I sign a new and better contract?” Better be truthful now. 

Baekhyun kept on staring at Jongdae, he knew there must be a reason for Jongdae to ask the question. How long would it be? Ten months? He could wait forever, if that meant Jongdae would choose him in the end. He leaned forward again, determined to finish creating this eyeshadow. He shouldn’t lost his focus easily like this. 

Jongdae immediately closed his eyes, felt the warmth radiated from Baekhyun. It was soothing. “Do you mind if I take a nap?” He asked, not to avoid talking, but he really just wanted to rest. 

“Sure, 30 minutes and I’ll finish this.” 

Jongdae relaxed himself and let his senses drifted away. Baekhyun’s touches were comforting enough around his face, the sound of Baekhyun took his every breath was very familiar, something he knew from a part of his memories. Baekhyun smelled very woodsy, just like the old Baekhyun, probably his own pheromones. But what Jongdae loved the most was Baekhyun himself. Baekhyun was there, and he thanked God that Baekhyun was there, close with him. 

Heart, body and soul. 

* * *

Chanyeol was purely conflicted. A part of him wanted Jongdae to spend more time with Baekhyun, another part of him told him that was a wrong thing to do now. But he never saw Jongdae as happy as he was currently. Sure, Jongdae was still the same Chanyeol’s bickering partner, complained non stop and pointed his every mistakes for the last few weeks. But Jongdae also smiled fondly when he thought no one was looking at him, for no particular reason, as if he wasn’t just discharged from hospital because of a terrible asthma. Jongdae would suddenly sang happy love songs, something totally contradicted from his usual angsty ballads. 

Kyungsoo was right. Jongdae in love was far more complicated than whiny Jongdae. 

He was standing near Jongdae and Baekhyun now, at backstage, in 5 minutes Jongdae would perform Lights Out. 

Chanyeol felt weird to watch the two of them like this, extremely in need of each other. Jongdae didn’t even react this way with him, needy. Jongdae needed Baekhyun’s reassurance now, and that was extremely cute. 

Baekhyun double checked Jongdae head to toe. Chanyeol had to give 5 stars to Baekhyun, Jongdae totally looked like an angel now. Slightly sheer white dress shirt, with black pants. Three silver necklaces, one of the necklaces was Baekhyun’s, Chanyeol was sure of it since he did see Baekhyun wore that one of often. And another two silver bracelets to join the soulmate band. Jongdae’s hair was styled up to show a bit of his forehead, contrary to the usual bang that Jongdae preferred. Certainly better than the style that Jongdae proposed himself. Jongdae rarely followed other people’s advice regarding fashion, but he followed Baekhyun’s from A to Z. 

Whatever Baekhyun spelled on Jongdae, Chanyeol wanted some of it. 

Chanyeol managed to get all-access pass for Baekhyun, apparently Baekhyun’s name was big enough to make the organizer gave him the pass. Baekhyun was one of the biggest Asian social influencer now, of course anyone would love to be seen in his Instagram or Twitter. 

They were now standing at backstage, when one of the staff ordered Jongdae to get ready in 30 seconds. 

“All the best, Dae.” Baekhyun patted Jongdae’s back for the last time and Chanyeol also gave him thumbs up. Jongdae rarely performed alone and this was his first time to perform alone outside of Korea so Jongdae must had been feeling terrified. 

They watched Jongdae from the monitor placed at the backstage area, and seriously, they were blown away. 

Both of them already watched Jongdae sang live more than they could ever count but both of them had never see Jongdae this calm in a live performance. His voice was steady, his tone was beautiful, and Jongdae himself looked ethereal on the stage, belting his voice effortlessly and truly much better than the recording. The message of the song truly delivered, it was comforting, as if Jongdae was whispering to each person on the hall that everything would be okay. It suddenly felt like a mini solo concert, no longer an award ceremony. 

If this was the effect of love on Jongdae, Chanyeol wanted Baekhyun 25 hours with Jongdae. 

Jongdae bowed down after he finished his song and walked calmly towards the backstage. He removed his in-ear quickly, bowed down towards the staffs there too before searching for Chanyeol and Baekhyun. He was sweating due to the heat from the spotlight and lack of healthy air on stage, but that was normal for every performer. He saw both of them stood near a wall, smiling proudly at him, and Jongdae couldn’t be more happier than this moment. 

* * *

It was almost midnight when Jongdae excused himself from the after party. He wasn’t exactly the type to mingle around, not without his members to accompany him, and not with his condition that was so quick to jump on any foreign touches. He did try his best to leave a good impression on other guests, he was one of the representatives from Korea after all. 

Chanyeol made sure that they really wrapped up everything that night and finally gave Jongdae the green light to rest. He asked Jongdae to return back to his room first since Jongdae clearly looked too tired and uncomfortable. Chanyeol still needed to double check the videos and answers taken by the interviewers just now to avoid any mishaps when it would be published later, his usual manager duties. 

Jongdae retreated to his room, after he made sure he already greeted all people that he should meet and thank. Lights Out won the Best Original Song category, and Jongdae had a hard time to control his emotions when he received the award on stage. It felt different compared to when he received an award with The Kims, this time it was extremely personal, the song was too personal for him. 

He still remembered the moment the music producer explained to Jongdae what was the movie Lights Out was all about, and it kept on reminding Jongdae of all the hard times he felt after that incident with the photographer. When he thought he couldn’t breathe and talk anymore, the people closest to him would always be there for him. 

Everyone except Baekhyun. 

He didn’t hold any grudges with Baekhyun, he was sure of that, it was just that he knew he could recover better if Baekhyun was there with him. He wrote Lights Out as a reminder to his fans and the movie’s fans that someone would always be there for them through their hard times, but it was also what he yearned from Baekhyun all these times. 

When the light was out, he wanted Baekhyun to be there for him. 

When he opened the door to his room and slowly walked further inside, he saw Baekhyun, peacefully sleeping on the bed. 

Baekhyun excused himself earlier after he finished retouching Jongdae’s makeup when Jongdae finished performing Lights Out, stating that he needed to pack his stuffs and return back to his store to make sure that everything was ready for tomorrow. So he borrowed one room card from Jongdae to gather his belongings. But he never return the card, so they concluded that Baekhyun was probably still in Jongdae’s room. 

Yeah, still. In adverb and adjective. 

Jongdae quietly walked around the room, careful not to disturb Baekhyun from his sleep. He removed all his accessories and slowly put in on the dressing table. He sat on the chair and turned it slowly to face the bed, to look at Baekhyun. 

He should pass the phase of extreme fondness for Baekhyun, he already felt it during his teenager phase. But right now, at that moment, he knew he was falling in love again, ridiculously deeper, ridiculously with the same person. Jongdae’s heart was overwhelmed with so much love. 

He texted Chanyeol, telling him that Baekhyun was with him and to not worry about them. He ended it with thanks for today, Chanyeol really worked so hard today, alone in fact, without the other staffs. 

It was already 12 am at Korea and Jongdae already received a lot of birthday wishes and congratulatory for his win through Lights Out. A few hashtags for him were already trended on the social media, it truly made him happy to know that the fans loved him so much. His parents already texted him, and his members also already wished on their group chat, and Jongdae already replied and thanked all of them during a few moment alone at the after party. 

All that was left was for the fans. Jongdae positioned himself for a selfie so that only the wall could be seen, one hand holding his award trophy and smiled his best before clicking the capture button. 

It turned out okay and smiled to himself, took another selfie and then carefully typing his words and feelings within those limited numbers that the Twitter provided. 

Jongdae tweeted two pictures, once again so overwhelmed with emotions, and extremely thankful of what he already achieved in his age. He finally put his phone on do not disturb mode, as he looked at the clock. 

23:52 

Jongdae heard a vibrating sound and quickly searched for the source since it wasn’t from his phone, only to find it on the pillow beside the one that Baekhyun was currently using. Jongdae stood and grabbed the phone, Yixing was calling Baekhyun. Even though conflicted, Jongdae picked it up in case it was something urgent, while walking further from Baekhyun, to avoid waking him up. 

“Hello—“ 

“Baekhyun! I’m glad you’re still alive!” Yixing sounded so relieved. 

“Ah, I’m sorry. I’m Jongdae, Baekhyun is currently sleeping now.” Jongdae immediately felt something wrong in his choices of words. “I mean, Baekhyun—“ 

“It’s okay, Jongdae! I’m glad that he’s finally sleeping actually! He didn’t get any sleep last night since he keeps on working with the preparation!” Yixing quickly cut him off. 

Jongdae frowned, he didn’t know. Baekhyun should have tell him, he would easily let Baekhyun rest for a while and not running here and there doing the job that those absent staffs should be doing. “Do you have any messages for him? Or do you want me to wake him up?” 

“It’s okay, Jongdae. I believe the store is ready for the opening tomorrow. Can you just help wake him up at 7 am tomorrow morning? The event starts at 10 so he should have enough time to prepare himself.” Yixing asked politely. 

Jongdae himself had no idea when Baekhyun would wake up but judging by how loud Baekhyun’s snores were and how he didn’t wake up by the phone vibrations before, he was certainly already in deep sleep. “Okay, Yixing. I’m so sorry to take him away from you guys at this crucial moment.” 

Yixing just chuckled on the line. “Don’t worry, Jongdae. Baekhyun already made sure everything will be perfect for tomorrow before he went to buy your outfits. Thanks again, Jongdae! I need to have a rest too.” Yixing paused for a while. “Baekhyun said tomorrow is your birthday? Happy birthday, bro!” 

Jongdae smiled, Yixing was certainly a good person and he felt guilty for harboring any negative feelings towards this person when he actually didn’t even know him personally before. “Thank you, Yixing. Have a good rest. Thank you again for today.” 

“No problem! Bye Jongdae!” Yixing cheerfully ended the call. 

Jongdae lowered down the phone and looked at it. It was locked, full of notifications but Jongdae didn’t want to fall to his temptations so he quickly turned off the screen. He did see the wallpaper, it was just the default wallpaper given by iPhone. Since when did Baekhyun become so basic? 

He put the phone on the nightstand near to where Baekhyun was currently sleeping and looked at the clock again. 

23:58 

Jongdae had so many wishes. For his family, for The Kims, for his fans. And for himself. But it was the same wish for himself. The same one ever since he was in kindergarten. And for the past 4 years were the moment where he really wanted his wish to come true. 

He wished the same thing this year for himself, and he really wished it more than any wishes he wanted to pray for. 

He only wished to have Baekhyun close with him for the rest of his life, every year. 

00:00 

Jongdae slowly leaned in closer to Baekhyun’s face, held his breathe for a moment, before placing his lips on Baekhyun’s.

_ You're my best present ever. _

* * *

Baekhyun was awake now, but he still didn’t want to open up his eyes. There was something in the air that felt so serene, he had never sleep as peacefully as this, so content that he thought he might actually dreaming to have this kind of peaceful sleep. Could someone dream that they were sleeping in their sleep? Baekhyun had no idea. There was that constant sound of breathing now that he could pick up now, familiar to his memories, but he couldn’t grasp where and what so he slowly opened his eyes to try and see if he was indeed sleeping in his dream. 

Definitely in a dream. 

Jongdae was sleeping peacefully beside him so he must had been dreaming. Jongdae would never sleep beside him. 

Or not? 

Baekhyun refocused his mind, and tried to think harder. He was sorting his brushes last night and while replying to Yixing, he felt asleep. 

On Jongdae’s bed. 

Baekhyun’s heartbeat increased unhealthily as he panicked by the sudden realization. Jongdae was sleeping beside him. Peacefully. Baekhyun calmed himself down and observed the sleeping figure. Jongdae didn’t remove his makeup entirely, there was still a faint lining on his eyebrows, a few glitters on his skin. He wanted to trace Jongdae’s face, and remapped his memories. Not that he ever forget Jongdae’s every contour. Jongdae looked like a child in his sleep, not the usual frown when he was whining, and definitely didn’t look a year older. Ah yes, today was Jongdae’s birthday but Baekhyun had no time to prepare for it because he was busy— 

With the grand opening of Prive Cosmetics’ main branch in Macau that he totally forgotten now thanks to a certain Kim. 

Baekhyun quickly sat upright, he might have to check his spine later, to look at the clock, or his phone. Whatever, he needed to know the current time. The sudden movement woke Jongdae from his sleep, as he blinked to look with confusion at the panic Baekhyun. 

06:28 

“The hell.” Baekhyun muttered silently, as he grabbed his phone on the nightstand and unlocked it. 

“Yixing did call you last night. He said the store is ready and to wake you up at 7 am.” Jongdae said groggily, as he summarized his words. 

Baekhyun didn’t reply him, just continued to read the messages on his phone, afraid that there was something wrong happened while he was sleeping. 

“Baekhyun.” Jongdae turned his body to face Baekhyun’s sitting figure, and placed a comforting hand on Baekhyun’s thigh. “Yixing said everything is fine at the store.” 

It was new, really. Probably the first time too for Jongdae to reassure him positively about Prive Cosmetics. Baekhyun’s dream that forced them to be apart. Baekhyun’s dream that now shared the same birthday with Jongdae. 

The tone that Jongdae used and the small gesture on his thigh made Baekhyun put down his phone back on the nightstand, to give his full attention at Jongdae. 

“I’m sorry I fell asleep here.” Baekhyun apologized because he should be. Jongdae didn’t even invite him in his room. 

“It’s okay. You’re tired too because of me.” Jongdae slowly sat up, no longer wanted to fall back to sleep. “You should go prepare yourself for your event, I already took too much of your time.” 

Baekhyun thought for a while, and finally decided to just say it. “Want to have breakfast with me? Just at the hotel’s restaurant, I don’t want to freak Chanyeol out. And my treat, since it’s your birthday today. Or you want to accompany me to the opening?” Baekhyun was now blabbering. 

“Breakfast. Just here, in the room.” Jongdae answered immediately. “I can’t accompany you since I need to go back soon, I need to finish recording the songs. My flight was rescheduled to late night later, and Chanyeol is still waiting for any open seats in any of the earliest flights. Let’s call for breakfast then. I don’t want you to arrive late for your event too.” 

Truth was Jongdae wanted to accompany Baekhyun. But he was an idol, appearing in a public event like that would surely rise the curiosity of people with bad intentions. Furthermore, people would notice that Jongdae’s birthday and Prive Cosmetics’ anniversary were on the same date. He didn’t want to cause scandal, even if it was just a rumor. 

Baekhyun immediately grabbed the menu on the nightstand and flipped through it. “They don’t have any cakes serve for the room service.” He pouted. “I really want to celebrate it properly with you.” 

Jongdae stared at Baekhyun for a while. They really looked domestic like this, sitting on bed, hair still tousled and with morning breath, but still comfortable with each other like they were meant to do it daily. The feeling stirred something in Jongdae, and Jongdae wanted to settle it now. “Baekhyun.” 

Baekhyun turned his head to look at Jongdae, there was something urgent in those words. “Hmm?” 

“Can I ask for a birthday present from you?” 

Baekhyun immediately straightened his posture, eyes lit up. “Of course, anything. What do you want, Jongdae?” 

“I...” Jongdae paused, took another breath and looked straight into Baekhyun’s eyes. Their usual way whenever a heavy topic was addressed. “I want you back in my life. Not as a lover, I don’t meant anything specific like that. I want you back in my life. Not as strangers or as awkward human beings like we acted for the past few weeks. I want you, your presence, back in my life. If you want me to label it, we as best friends again, that’s the closest that I can label it with. Where you can be there for me, and I can be there for you. Where I don’t have to think twice to call you, and I don’t have to think too much what should I text you. Just like us before, minus the lovers attachment. I want that for my birthday present. Can I?” Baekhyun was near to tears, but Jongdae still felt like he didn’t spill everything yet from his heart. “Because last night made me realized that I’m the best person to myself, to the world, when I have your support with me, by my side.” 

Baekhyun quickly pulled him into a tight hug, there were too many emotions inside of him, but the one that he felt the most was happiness and relieved. Jongdae wanted to enter back into his life despite whatever he did to Jongdae all this time, and Jongdae still needed him, still wanted him, as friends or lover was not important here. The most important thing was Jongdae finally wanted his presence again. It was a big step for Jongdae, and Baekhyun didn’t want to waste it. 

“Of course, silly. I’ll give that as your birthday present and bother you every minute to the point that you regret asking for it today.” 

And with that simple sentence, Jongdae knew his Baekhyun was back, to him. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> No, I don't know the true meaning behind EXO's Lights Out. The meaning that I typed is purely for this work only.


	5. Chapter 5

Jongdae and Chanyeol did get seats on early flight that afternoon, and they were now on a plane to Seoul. Jongdae was feeling happy, it had been a while since he felt this euphoric and on his birthday too, it was all thanks to Baekhyun. True to his words, Baekhyun kept on texting his every movements, and Jongdae couldn’t control his smiles whenever he received a message. Chanyeol often caught him smiling to himself, and kept on rolling his eyes. But he knew better than to tease Jongdae about it, Jongdae had been waiting for Baekhyun for years already.

“I want a birthday present.” Jongdae finally said after he finished scrolling Baekhyun’s texts. Re-scrolling so many times actually.

“Please, I’m sure Baekhyun already gave you a birthday present. You are smiling non stop since I met you today and don’t tell me it’s because today is your birthday. I don’t remember seeing you this smiley in any of your birthdays.” Chanyeol answered, but with no bite in his words. “What did he give you? Come on, share some with me.”

“It can’t be share.” Jongdae replied cheekily, Chanyeol totally didn’t expect that.

“Oh my God, did Baekhyun switch you with someone else?” Chanyeol exaggeratedly made his eyes bigger. “What should I do now? Return back to Macau?”

Jongdae just laughed at him, didn’t even planning to hide his happiness from Chanyeol. If there was a person that he knew would understand what he truly felt for Baekhyun, it must be Chanyeol. And Chanyeol didn’t judge his actions whenever Baekhyun was involved, and he was truly grateful for that.

Sehun didn’t meet Baekhyun in a good terms, and as much as he wanted Sehun to accept Baekhyun’s roles in his life, he knew that Baekhyun needed to prove himself in front of Sehun himself that he was trustworthy enough for Sehun to accept him. Jongdae could only help to give good words about Baekhyun, the rest was up to Sehun to judge Baekhyun. Jongdae himself wanted them to be friends, he knew they could click easily. If only they met under a better circumstances.

“The sexual tension.” Jongdae said suddenly.

Chanyeol’s eyes nearly popped out from its sockets. “I’m sorry but are you talking dirty with me?”

“It’s been years since I’ve ever felt any sexual tension, I’m seriously considering celibacy early this year.”

Chanyeol even released his seatbelt to properly turned to look at Jongdae, his eyes were so wide. He grabbed both of Jongdae’s shoulders. “What do you want me to do? I can’t send you to celibacy, but I’m already soulmated too and my soulmate is scarier than death itself. I’m sorry but I can’t help you to feel any of that, Jongdae!”

“I feel it again, with him. It’s always him, Chanyeol, to the point that I’m afraid for my soulmate.” Jongdae said seriously.

“Oh God, you scared me for a while there.” Chanyeol said in relief. “Well, you want him back, I guess?”

Jongdae stared at Chanyeol without any emotions on his face, but his heart was in turmoil.

He could only share this Chanyeol, only Chanyeol could answer him honestly, despite his playful behavior. He thought for a while, he knew the answer and he knew Chanyeol too knew the answer. Jongdae only needed to word it out loud to finally let the reality sink into his every cells.

“I want him, but by saying that I’m challenging my own belief in the soulmate system.”

There were relief and worried in the same time in Jongdae’s tone. He never talk in depth about his soulmate to anyone else, only briefly and in a glance.

“You said your soulmate is doing fine without any interactions until your ban ended, right?”

“Yes. Maybe. Don’t really mind I’m out here as a free soul.” Jongdae tried not to give out too much about his soulmate.

Chanyeol wanted to probe but he knew soulmate was a very sensitive issue for Jongdae, a hard believer. “Try ask again?”

“Should I? I mean, less than a year now, right?” Jongdae asked, honestly asking for opinion.

“You should. Maybe. You know I’m suck in this topic too.”

Jongdae smiled at Chanyeol and patted his arm. “You know I really envy those who already knew their soulmates personally. Makes life so much more easier. Mystery solved.”

Chanyeol scoffed at him. “I still can date someone else, you know. We never had a proper discussion about this soulmate thing.”

Jongdae shrugged. “I don’t think you’ll date anyone else.”

Chanyeol sighed. “I don’t know. My whole attention is for you guys.”

Jongdae went silent, slowly rephrasing those words in his head. Even Chanyeol who already soulmated still chose The Kims over his soulmate. But here he was, so tempted to run away with Baekhyun, when there were so many people worked so hard for him. Jongdae tried to recalibrate his mind. And heart, his heart, the most important. “Can you humor me and my thoughts about Baekhyun just for today? I promise by tomorrow I’ll focus back on The Kims.” Jongdae said, Chanyeol just raised his left eyebrow. “I’m always fighting with myself about Baekhyun. I want him so bad, but I can’t be selfish. If you get what I meant.”

“Just a few months left. If you can control yourself then it’s fine. But after last night, I must admit that Baekhyun have a very strong hold on you.”

“Help me to control myself.” Jongdae pleaded with his eyes. “You’re the only one who can help me in this.”

Chanyeol sighed again. “What should I do, Jongdae? If there’s a bond stronger than the soulmate bond, it must have been the bond between you and Baekhyun. You guys click in so many levels, it’s scary to look at.”

“Maybe we’re meant to have that stronger than soulmate bond.”

Chanyeol openly gaped at him.

“I’m this close to challenge the soulmate bond, you, as the non believer should be proud of me.”

“I’m not a non believer. I just have no strong opinion about the bond.” Chanyeol defended himself.

“I know you love your soulmate.” Jongdae smiled at him, which made Chanyeol blushed. Chanyeol also had that soft spot in him despite his strong words.

“I don’t know. Don’t really want to think about it.”

“Just a few months left, Yeol. We can make it somehow.” Jongdae said, worded it more to himself rather than to Chanyeol. He was lucky enough to have Baekhyun back here with him, and the fact that they could befriended each other again without so much drama was good enough for him. Baekhyun blended so easily in his life, and now Jongdae wanted to know more about Baekhyun’s life.

The phase of Baekhyun’s life which started without Jongdae, he wanted to blend in it now.

* * *

Time went in a flash and now the cold air already greeted the land of Seoul. Baekhyun was one of the busiest human being in Seoul, end of the year meant that there would be a lot of end year shows for The Kims to attend, and a lot of style to coordinate for the four handsome men. He just finished another meeting with a fashion designer for The Kims, in November alone there were 3 awards ceremony that The Kims had to attend and perform at.

Baekhyun rarely had the time for Prive Cosmetics now, most of his time was spent on meetings with fashion designers, the stylists that worked under him, and The Kims themselves. He loved it anyway despite the extreme pressure, it was something that he loved to do, for someone that he loved so much. Now he could talk with Jongdae just like how Chanyeol talked with Jongdae, best friends. The rest of The Kims also treated him normally like before, Kyungsoo too. It was still hard to win Sehun’s heart, but it just proved that Sehun truly cared about Jongdae, and Baekhyun was glad that Jongdae was surrounded with extremely good people.

Baekhyun wrapped up his work for that day some time after 9 pm, when he decided to drop by at Jongdae’s apartment. Their apartment, again, it was complicated.

_ You’re at home? Baekhyun sent the words to Jongdae. _

_ Yes, just finished a practice. Why? _

Baekhyun didn’t reply, instead he just drove to a restaurant and bought two sets of galbijjim.

Jongdae lately texted him saying he often had dinner around 10 pm, so Baekhyun was positive that Jongdae hadn’t eat his dinner yet.

So, when the passcode to the apartment beeped, telling Jongdae that someone was entering the apartment at 9.40 pm, he was surprised, as panic started to consume him. Only when he saw Baekhyun’s features emerged from the door that he felt relieved. But confused. “Baekhyun?”

Baekhyun smiled at him, as he waved the takeaway bag high, “Galbijjim.” He hadn’t meet Jongdae for 3 days, and he was stressed due to work, he really needed to hang out with Jongdae.

Jongdae just smiled back at him, tried to sort his feelings properly. This was the first time Baekhyun went to the apartment since Jongdae returned from the hospital. He did tell Baekhyun that it was okay to come to the apartment just to hang out, but he never expected Baekhyun to really consider the suggestion. Truth was he wanted to meet Baekhyun too, they often missed each other even though they were on the same building. Jongdae was busy with practices for end of year shows, while Baekhyun would spend hours in the sea of outfits.

They somehow found the middle ground in their interactions, close as best friends, with just the right amount of flirting, nothing too much to handle. The others quickly accepted the new dynamics between them, realized that there was no use to stop them, Jongdae and Baekhyun’s relationships were already established longer than The Kims itself.

And the way Baekhyun easily moved around the kitchen like he lived in the apartment was proof enough of their strong relationships.

“There’s a rumor about you online.” Jongdae said, slowly walked towards the dining table.

Baekhyun stared at Jongdae for a while to see if he was joking or not, and apparently Jongdae wasn’t joking. But Baekhyun was too busy today to even read any news.

“A friend of Yixing, I guess? Luhan?” Jongdae calmly sat down, but his heart was restless. What if Baekhyun really went to someone else now that he made himself clear that he wanted no romantic relationship with Baekhyun?

Baekhyun put two bowls of galbijjim on the table. “You, of all people should know by now how the media works.”

“You look happy with him on the photos tho. Can’t help but to think about the possibility.”

Baekhyun snapped the chopsticks apart while looking at Jongdae. His heart swelled, he really wanted to believe that Jongdae was jealous of Luhan, although he knew Jongdae would never admit it if he asked him directly. Jongdae’s eyes had that hidden uncertainties, and he hated that. “Of course I’m happy around my friends. Next day there will be another rumors of me and Yixing, the headline would be similar too.”

Jongdae frowned, he would never get used to the rumors about Baekhyun on the internet. “How does it feels like to have rumors about yourself out there for people to read?”

“Honestly? Funny. Because all of them are false. Just another media play, when the truth is I’m happily sitting here in front of you.” Baekhyun said, while gesturing at Jongdae to take the chopsticks that he already put in front of Jongdae.

Jongdae picked it up and snapped it. “Thank you for the meal.”

They ate in silence for the first few minutes, but Jongdae’s thoughts were so loud, Baekhyun really wanted to reassure him.

“I don’t have a dating ban, and I’m free to date anyone, Jongdae.” Baekhyun said, not to tease Jongdae, but he needed Jongdae to see from his point of view too. Jongdae had so many insecurities, and Baekhyun hated it. Jongdae was a perfect person, he didn’t deserve anything bad in his life.

Jongdae stopped chewing and looked at Baekhyun. “You’re really dating...?”

“No. Luhan is just another fashion designer that I often work it.” Baekhyun answered honestly, and somehow glad Jongdae was brave enough to open this topic.

Jongdae nodded, but didn’t comment any further.

“There will be numerous rumors about me, Jongdae, since people know I can date anyone, compared to you guys, the idols. But if you really want to know something about me, just ask me directly. Don’t trust those media.”

The air felt familiar, it felt like the times they were still a couple, but Jongdae didn’t hate the air. He hated himself for being jealous of this Luhan, and he hated the fact that he had the idea of that jealousy when he was the one who determined to stay as friends.

“Can I stay here tonight?”

Honestly, Baekhyun was too tired to drive back to his house. And to see Jongdae this restless due to his rumors made him felt so bad, he hated it so much. Too many things to hate right now, from both of them.

“No funny business.” Jongdae replied short, continued to eat from his bowl.

“I promise.”

“Cool.”

“Jongdae.”

“What?”

“Collaborate with me for my new collection pallette.”

Jongdae nearly dropped his chopsticks inside the bowl. “Excuse me?”

“Collaborate with Prive Cosmetics.” Baekhyun’s eyes were honest, and determined. He hated that there were no rumors of him and Jongdae. He hated that people didn’t know of him and Jongdae. And he finally understood what Jongdae meant when he said their hidden relationship before was toxic.

It was indeed eating them inside out.

“Best friends collection, idols collection, anything. As long as it is about us. A collaboration between the two of us. Let the world know that we’re best friends. Just say yes, then I’ll send a proposal to your agency.” Baekhyun was determined. Prive was originally for them, for Baekhyun’s dream to be a good makeup artist, for Baekhyun to have a brand to support the two of them, for Baekhyun to have a product so he could be Jongdae’s personal makeup artist.

Jongdae was still out of words. Makeup wasn’t his thing, it would look funny and out of the world for him to collaborate for a makeup product.

But this was for Baekhyun, for them. He wanted to support Baekhyun with all his might, and if Baekhyun wanted this shouldn’t he say yes?

“Let’s discuss more about it, right now.” Jongdae finally replied.

And Baekhyun knew Jongdae agreed, right at that moment.

* * *

“I can’t believe myself,” Jongdae complained, flipped the lyrics on the table, he couldn’t focus. “I actually agreed to collaborate with Byun Baekhyun when I can’t even differentiate salmon pink and coral pink?” Jongdae coughed, and reached for the mineral bottle on the table. “And Mr Lee actually accepted the collaboration proposal with such an ease? No further questions? He didn’t probe more about me and Baekhyun? He didn’t even ask Baekhyun why he chose me? What’s going on?” He took a gulp while looking at Chanyeol who was looking back at him, uninterested.

“I want to say Mr Lee maybe knew about the two of you.” Chanyeol replied. “But that didn’t make any sense either so I guess Mr Lee really likes Baekhyun to work with MS. And this is a golden opportunity since Prive Cosmetics never collaborate with any names officially before.”

Jongdae frowned. “You should stop me from signing that agreement. This is a total plot twist.”

Chanyeol sighed. “Sehun was the one accompanied you at that time, that poor guy was probably dying to stop you but you’re unstoppable, Jongdae. Not when it’s involving Baekhyun.”

Jongdae sighed, took another gulp from the bottle, still couldn’t believe himself.

“Be professional.” Chanyeol added, he should ask additional salary as Jongdae’s consultant. “Everything is about work. And be careful.”

“Best friends. It’s just a collaboration between best friends.” Seokjin phrased it, but somehow he said it just to convince himself. Chanyeol didn’t need that, and there was no use to hide anything from Chanyeol.

“If it’s really for best friends, why are you doubting yourself here? You’re such a bad best friend, I pity Baekhyun now.”

“I’m not— I— Forget it.”

Chanyeol laughed at him, Jongdae was unbelievable when it came to Baekhyun. “Want me to replace Sehun while you’re visiting Prive’s lab next week? He never did this kind of thing too.”

“It’s okay,” Jongdae answered. “I want him to really accept Baekhyun anyway.”

“Baekhyun sent his artist to a hospital, of course he is traumatized.”

“Bad luck, bad timing.” Jongdae said, eyes back on the paper filled with lyrics. “How busy are we next month?”

“Fully booked on weekend, and don’t dream to rest on 29, 30 and 31. You aren’t supposed to even visit the cosmetics lab next week.”

“By January we need to finish recording and settle the choreography. February for photoshoot and March for comeback. I need one free date some time after the comeback to launch the collaboration with Prive.”

Chanyeol frowned. “I’ll discuss with Sehun later about that.”

Jongdae snorted. “I’m sorry that this thing is totally unpredicted. Even me myself still trying to believe it.”

“Seriously, Baekhyun should collaborate with Minseok if it’s about makeup. You’re a weird choice.” Chanyeol chuckled.

“I did ask him if he can collaborate with the whole The Kims. He said he will just keep that in mind for the time being.”

“He’s whipped for you,” Chanyeol said. “You’re his muse, why the need to collaborate with someone else if his muse already said yes?”

Jongdae felt overwhelmed to hear that he was Baekhyun’s muse, quickly looked away to hide his already reddened cheeks. “Best friends. I’m as the best friend needs to support him and I will. And I can learn what he’s being doing all this time, that thought excites me.”

_These fools in love_, Chanyeol told himself. “Again, be careful.”

“I don’t think there’s any problem?”

“This makeup artist world is new to us. When I started to handle Jongin through his first few modeling photoshoots, you’ve no idea how many snakes were trying to get on Jongin’s bad sides. If you think Sehun can’t handle it, you know you have me. You can always ask for Kyungsoo’s help too, people easily get scared of him.”

Jongdae thought for a while, but he just shrugged it off. He trusted Sehun, and the most important thing was he trusted Baekhyun. Baekhyun would never let anything bad happen to him. And Jongdae himself wasn’t an easy character.

It would be fine.

* * *

Jongdae and Sehun were lost.

Well, thank God Sehun looked like a top model and Jongdae was a well known idol, people didn’t look at them like some sort of strangers. But both of them felt like they were entering a new world. Sehun even asked him multiple times if they were at the right place, and not some hospital or clinics. The thing was that place was so white, and smelled like Sehun’s toner just spilled all over the whole building, it was totally different from the bright and colorful vibes they could see from Prive Cosmetics’ ads or the main shop itself.

A staff from the lab was currently briefing them about the safety measures inside the lab, the do’s and dont’s of the lab. Both Jongdae and Sehun tried their best to understand the scientific terms the staff uttered. And they signed the paper which served as a proof that they already listened to the safety briefing, and as disclaimer from Prive Cosmetics should anything bad happened to them while they were inside the lab.

The staff then gave them two white coats to wear, which was a requirement for anyone to enter any labs inside the building. They wore it silently, since the staff wasn’t the type to joke around too. Once the staff was satisfied with both Jongdae and Sehun, and deemed that they were properly clothed to enter, she gave them two key passes which were required to move inside the building. She finally guided them further more inside the building, where Baekhyun was supposed to meet them.

The staff finally stopped in front of a huge door, and from the mirror glass, Jongdae could see Baekhyun’s head. He was alone there, no other people could be seen. The staff gestured them to touch their cards on the door, which Sehun immediately did so, and the door beeped twice before it slided to let them enter.

Baekhyun immediately turned towards the door, also wearing the white coat and somehow he looked like a scientist. He shook hands with Sehun who accepted it nicely, and proceeded to hug Jongdae who gladly hugged him back. “I’m sorry I can’t welcome you guys myself. This place is strict with their protocols.” Baekhyun apologized.

Jongdae released the hug and smiled at Baekhyun. “It’s okay. But I have to admit that this place is scary. Are you sure they didn’t create any illegal drugs here?” Jongdae jokingly asked. Baekhyun laughed at that, and motioned for them to walk towards one of the table. There were various items there, and truthfully, Sehun could use them better compared to Jongdae since Sehun knew a lot about cosmetics. Lipsticks, lip glosses, blushes and eye shadows. And lots and lots of colorful powder in bottles.

Baekhyun looked at Jongdae, his eyes totally focused. “I know you don’t care much about makeup.” He said, hands now sorting the items on the table nervously. “So I’m just going to see your preferences in makeup, like your personal favorite, your favorite swatches too, and we’ll include them in the collection. And I’ll let you the design the art for the collection too, if you want to.”

“Jongdae loves eyeshadows the most.” Sehun said.

Jongdae smiled at that sentence. “Yes, I love eyeshadows the most. I think my eyes didn’t stand out much so I love the effect of strong eyeshadows.”

“Sure, we can start with that.” Baekhyun opened up a notebook, and started to write things on it. “I aim for a collection that is not too limited, but not too wide in choices too. I’m going to suggest two different palettes for eyeshadows if it’s okay with you? Each palette will have six kind of colors.”

Jongdae took a moment to observe this Baekhyun. This was a new Baekhyun, that he had never seen before. A confident creator. “Sure. Can I get to choose the colors for the palettes?”

“Of course, it’s up to your taste.” Baekhyun answered. “I’ll just guide you and give my opinions, in case I think the swatches aren’t suitable with each other.”

Jongdae looked back at Baekhyun, starting to get the mood for this, their collection together. “Mind explaining me more the eyeshadows that you created for Prive?”

“I often created 3 types of eyeshadows; glitters, shimmers and matte type. Makeup artists for idols often use all types, then blend it together.”

Baekhyun pushed a sample for each type towards Jongdae, and Jongdae opened one of it, labeled as glitters. “I love brownish and purplish eyebrows the most. They’re pretty.”

Baekhyun silently observed Jongdae, it was weird to talk about cosmetics with Jongdae like this. Jongdae was supportive from day 1, since Baekhyun told him that he wanted to be a makeup artist. But they never discussed makeup things like this, and Baekhyun had to admit that he actually didn’t know much about Jongdae’s personal preference in makeup now.

“Can we? One palette for brownish hue, another for purplish hue? Or is purple a rare choice color for eyeshadows?” Jongdae’s concerned voice startled Baekhyun from his thoughts.

Baekhyun smiled at him, “Any color is fine, Jongdae. It’s actually up to the makeup artists’ skill to determine if they can blend it beautifully or not.” He went in front of a line of bottles. “Here, these are the new pigments for our eyeshadows, we haven’t launch anything with these colors. You can pick 12 swatches, 4 swatches for each type. Everything already been labeled. Take your time to pick them, I’m not in a rush.”

“Okay.” Jongdae walked towards Baekhyun, and he was totally in awe with all those colors. Sehun followed closely behind him, and he was speechless too. This experience was new to them, it was different from any recording or photoshoot. Jongdae carefully looked at each of the pigment’s bottle, it was hard to choose even one color when everything was so beautiful.

It took Jongdae 30 minutes to finally had the final 12 swatches, with help from Baekhyun and even Sehun. “I’m confident, these are the colors that I love the most.”

Baekhyun smiled widely, he didn’t even hide his excitement. “Brilliant. I’ll send this to my team and we’ll come up with the names for this color. I’ll email everything to both of you too, and only when Jongdae agree then we’ll produce the first few testers.”

“I see, this is very interesting.” Jongdae replied.

“And Jongdae needs to do this steps for all the other items?” Sehun asked.

Jongdae looked at the other tables. Only three tables were occupied with items, but the pigment bottles were numerous, it gave some sort of excitement to him.

“Yeah, I’ve already prepared only the new pigments for this collection.” Baekhyun looked at the other tables too. “And only the best formula we ever created.”

“That’s a big move for a collaboration, Baekhyun.” Jongdae said.

Baekhyun looked at him, tried to say something, but then Sehun was here too so he rephrased the words on his mind. “I want the best for this collection, this collaboration. I want the best for every product that I created for my brand. This is not just some collaboration. This is a very important step in telling the world that I’m up for anything, and I’ll begin it with Jongdae, a person that is the closest to me.”

Baekhyun’s words were honest and full of determination, both Jongdae and Sehun knew not to play with this Baekhyun.

“I got what you’re saying, Baekhyun. I’ll give my best too. I already gave my best for those eyeshadows, and I’ve no problem to do it for the other items.” Jongdae said, putting a reassuring hand on Baekhyun’s shoulder.

“Thank you so much, Jongdae. I knew you’ll never disappoint me.”

Jongdae gave Baekhyun a smile. “Let’s continue our work, I’m starting to love playing with these colors.”

* * *

“Well, The Kims.”

They were sitting opposite of Mr Lee, and one of the company’s lawyer, inside of Mr Lee’s huge room. It was unexpected, they just entered a new year, and all of them were worried about this sudden meeting on a very cold morning.

“I’m not a person that loves to play around with my words so I’m going to say it straight to the point.” Mr Lee leaned his body forward, his arms firm on the table. “You guys gave a huge profit to the company for the past 6 years, and you guys did so well in every aspect that you do, as The Kims or as a solo artist. We have counted every profit that you guys brought to the company, and I must said that all shareholders and stakeholders are very satisfied with your performance.” He paused, smiling at all those four nervous faces in front of him. Cute. “So we have our meeting last week, and all of the shareholders, myself included agreed to this conclusion. We agreed to let you sign a new contract, earlier than we’ve agreed before. We’ll let you sign a new contract 5 months earlier, which is a week before your next comeback, and shall you guys agree to sign a new contract with us, which I really hope you guys will agree, we’ll discuss the new contract personally with each one of you, some time on early February, and all four of you will sign it together on March. What do you guys think about it? You guys need some time to think?”

Again, it was unexpected, really. This was the first time it ever happened in MS Entertainment, and it meant that The Kims was really an important asset to the company, that they wanted to secure again, quickly. All of them had their surprise faces, too lost for words. Too many things crossed their minds, no one really had a word to say at that time.

“Sir, thank you so much for the good words you have for us.” Minseok finally said. “Truthfully, I want to sign a new contract with MS Entertainment. There are other companies who met us personally during our free time, trying to lure us from this agency with their offers. But I believe I am sharing the same sentiments with my members, all of us want to renew their contracts here.” He looked at the other three, and all of them gave him a nod and a smile. Minseok was a very calm person, and that was what all of them needed. “From my side, I’ll say I’m agree to sign a new contract on March, and I don’t need more time to think about it.” He ended confidently.

It was useless to ask for more time actually, when all of them already agreed to stay together, for as long as forever could take them.

“Me too. I want to sign a new contract here.” Junmyeon said, held a firm shake with Minseok, who was so relief with those simple sentence.

“Count me in too.” Jongdae commented, and now the other two was now quick to stand and hugged Jongdae together.

“Come on, this is not fair! Of course I’ll follow wherever you guys will go!” Jongin whined, and all of them were now in a group hug.

Mr Lee smiled widely at them, he truly didn’t foresee such a strong group would form under his care, strong in so many aspects. They were strong with their voices and dance, they were strong on stage, they were strong physically, they were strong emotionally, and they were extremely strong in their bonds.

They were The Kims, by name and by fate, together.


	6. Chapter 6

Jongdae quickly typed to Baekhyun after the meeting ended, too happy and too eager to share it with him, that he just dismissed the numerous texts from their managers, which unfortunately wasn’t allow to accompany them throughout the meeting.

Jongdae couldn’t believe it, 2 more months and he could sign a new contract. A better contract, a better division of the profit between him and the agency, a better condition, a better freedom for his work and his life and of course, no more dating ban. He was so excited that he typed non stop, every details that he could share to Baekhyun.

Baekhyun, who was currently in another meeting with Kibum for The Kims’ comeback, eagerly replied Jongdae’s messages. He sounded so happy for the news, Jongdae couldn’t help to smile non stop.

“Let’s celebrate over a lunch!” Junmyeon shouted happily, as they approached the elevator. Jongin already typed the news on their group chat, to end their managers’ misery, and they already excitedly heading towards their car, asked The Kims to meet them at the basement parking. Jongdae couldn’t stop smiling when he saw his members, and he quickly typed to Baekhyun that he wanted to meet Baekhyun tonight, at his apartment. Their apartment.

Baekhyun quickly replied to him that he would be there later at night.

And Jongdae couldn’t get more excited than this. 

* * *

“Baekhyun.” Jongdae already waiting near the door when he heard the passcode beeping. “I’ve just finished cooking. Did you eat already?”

“Nope.” Baekhyun replied, dying to hug Jongdae but knew better to restraint himself.

“You want to eat now? Or you want to sit first?”

Baekhyun pointed to the couch and Jongdae quickly understood. “Kim Kibum is a menace. A word from me and he’ll reply with a hundred.”

“You survived.” Jongdae walked towards the couch and sit on the three seater. Baekhyun joined him on the couch, but suddenly lowered down his body and placed his head on Jongdae’s thigh. Jongdae was surprised with the move, but Baekhyun was clingy since birth so he didn’t say anything about it. “I know you can do it. Kibum didn’t say anything bad about you while he was in a meeting with us, that’s a very good sign.”

Baekhyun closed his eyes. “I tried my best to fulfill his every demands, I think I should try to be a concept director after this.”

Jongdae just stared at Baekhyun, at his long lashes. So pretty, and he hadn’t observe them for such a long time.

“You.” Baekhyun suddenly said, eyes on Jongdae’s. “Congratulations! I knew Mr Lee loves you guys so much, he couldn’t wait to sign a new contract soon! I’m so excited for you guys!”

Jongdae nodded. “Now that the fact settled in me, I’m somewhat nervous.”

“You’re like that when you wanted to sign the current contract too.”

Jongdae bit his lower lip. “I need to think of my terms for them.”

Baekhyun stared at him for a while, then gave him a smile. “Ask them if you can date a certain Byun Baekhyun.”

“In your dreams.” Jongdae laughed, weakly flicking Baekhyun’s forehead.

“I’m a very eligible bachelor!”

“I can date whoever I want to.”

Baekhyun just stared at him, and Jongdae fought back with his own stares. There were so many emotions in those stares, Jongdae was dying to untangle each and every emotion that Baekhyun just bared to him. But there were too many of them, and Jongdae just wanted to know everything urgently.

“Baekhyun, why did you leave like that?” Jongdae whispered, but he knew Baekhyun could hear it, and he understood what was Jongdae talking about.

Baekhyun locked his eyes with Jongdae’s. “I’m a coward and I’m not good enough for you.”

Jongdae blinked once, twice, and yet Baekhyun didn’t continue his words. “Do you have no intention at all to tell me that you’re leaving, and you really wanted to leave like that?”

“If you wasn’t in Japan at that time, I would probably tell you.”

Jongdae blinked again. “So you’ve the intention to tell me?”

“In every breath that I take,” Baekhyun paused. “But I’m a coward, I chose to run away instead.”

“And you immediately ran away to London?” Jongdae asked calmly, he needed to stay calm despite an ache suddenly engulfing his heart.

Baekhyun took a deep breath, he didn’t want to lie. “No, I’m still at Korea when you returned.”

Jongdae stopped breathing for a second, he knew it, deep in him, he knew it. “And you didn’t want to say it to my face? You preferred to run away?”

Baekhyun now looked at the ceiling, guilt all over his face. “I thought, if I see you, I can never bring myself to leave.” He paused. “But I really want it, Jongdae. I can’t stay here as the stylist for MS forever. I always wanted to do something bigger, I don’t want to be chained so early in my life. I’m not that obedient. Is it called as running away? Yeah, maybe. I’m running away from me, who wasn’t good enough for you.”

“Did you regret it?” Jongdae kept on asking, he had so many questions in his head.

“Always. I just wished I can say it properly to you. But if you ask me will I stay after telling you everything, I have to say no. I’ll still be going, Jongdae. And that fact alone made me chose to not meet you until the end. I can’t have two things in the same time. I want you with me, but I want to go to London. And I’ll still choose London, with a wishful thinking that you’re still mine when I return back to Korea.”

“But we can try to do a long distance relationship?”

Baekhyun scoffed weakly. “That isn’t our style, Dae. That isn’t my style. I love physical touches, I crave for you 24 hours. You have no idea how hard it was for me there, there’s only Boa to teach me everything. Every time I saw you in the news, I cried, I want to be there for you so bad. You have no idea how often I went to the airport, to return back to Korea. But I held it in every single time, I’ve to do this for me, for us. I want to be someone that is compatible with you, someone you can be proud of, someone that would not give you shame when you introduce me to your fans later, someone that will not give you trouble and bad rumors, someone that is good enough for you.”

Baekhyun never removed his gaze from Jongdae, still looked up at him from his position, head still firm on Jongdae’s thigh, voice was serious and honest. There were no lies in his words, Jongdae could see it, and he was terribly emotional.

“Prive, is indeed for you. I launched it on your birthday, I wanted to tell you that’s my birthday present for you. It literally means private. You’re the private part of me, something so delicate to me, the backbone of my everything, the private life of me that those people didn’t know. That’s you.” Baekhyun took Jongdae’s hand and held his every fingers. “I’ve no idea you’re already soulmated. If I knew, I would return earlier...”

Jongdae just let Baekhyun did whatever he want to with his fingers, he was too much in pain to even react. This anticlimactic closure was still needed, but he guessed that it took them too long, hence what made the overwhelming feeling of disappointment lingered in the air.

“Mind sharing about your soulmate?” Baekhyun asked shyly, he knew it wasn’t his place to ask about it.

“No, too personal.” Jongdae replied weakly, surprised that he even still managed to talk.

“Met him, her already?”

“No, but I want to meet the person at least once. I just want to ask face to face what is our future that the person wanted.”

Baekhyun interlaced his fingers with Jongdae’s, and a very heavy feeling settled in his heart. He missed this feeling, the security that Jongdae’s little fingers gave him when he held it tight like this. He wanted it to be his again.

“What do you want for your future, Jongdae?”

_ You. _

“Peace. My heart isn’t in peace lately. Constantly searching for something, restless.”

Baekhyun hummed, he knew Jongdae was hiding something, but he didn’t probe any further. Jongdae wasn’t the type to spill anything unnecessarily, a habit he got after he became an idol. Secretive.

“Be mine again, Jongdae.”

That was out of blue, but it wasn’t out of place. Jongdae could read the situation, but then Baekhyun’s every whole being kept screaming at Jongdae that he wanted Jongdae again. Always.

“You have a chance, I’m not going to lie. But let me talk with my soulmate first.”

“When?”

“I don’t know. After I sign the contract?”

“Why do we have to wait if we really have a chance?”

“I’m a person with a belief, Baekhyun. I believe in soulmate, I truly do. I want to discuss it properly with my soulmate, I don’t want another half ass closure like us again. Agreeing another relationship with you right now is like asking me to convert to another belief blindly.”

“What if your soulmate want you too?”

“I...I’ll see how it goes from there? But people always bonded so strong with their soulmates.”

Baekhyun pouted. “I hate your strong stand sometimes. I couldn’t even get pass that.”

“It’s okay, we can always be friends. You’re lovely even as a friend.” Jongdae patted Baekhyun’s head using his another free hand. His own words hurted him, he wanted Baekhyun, but his soulmate was another story.

“I don’t want to be friends.”

“Convert me.”

Baekhyun looked up at Jongdae. Jongdae was smiling, but his eyes were serious, challenging in fact.

“Try me. I’m Byun Baekhyun, and you’re mine.”

* * *

It happened on February, again, unintentionally, when The Kims was getting ready for the MV for their latest comeback. They shoot it inside a theme park which was closed that day, disguised under the word maintenance when it was actually closed specially for them.

The Kims already met Mr Lee and the lawyers last week to discuss the new terms and conditions for their latest contract. Each member asked for a different thing, but it all meant the same thing. The Kims would perform for another 5 years with MS Entertainment once they sign the new contract, which would be ready 2 weeks from now.

The situation in the dressing room, built specifically for the MV, was a little bit tense but all of them were excited for this new comeback. It was fun to have a little acting in the MV, and The Kims had Junmyeon, who was now one of the most wanted actor in the country, to act in their MV. Their fans would be delighted, this type of MV was one of their favorite.

The members were in the middle of makeup process, tried their best to stay calm despite the adrenaline rush which they felt in every comeback. The portable heater in the room was too weak for the chilly air, and Jongdae already had three heat packs to hold to, he was nearly freezing. Silently thanked that he didn’t have to wear the revealing clothes like Jongin, but then Jongin looked unbothered by the winter air. He glanced at Baekhyun who was standing at the back of the room, in front of multiple luggage bags, with a frown on Baekhyun’s face.

Baekhyun was there too on set, since The Kims had three outfits for the MV, and all outfits had delicate accessories to wear with, thanks to multiple sponsors for The Kims. But it gave Baekhyun a headache now, with everything was messed up due to the intern’s carelessness while transferring the luggage which contained all the accessories. All of the accessories were no longer in their original boxes which Baekhyun already labeled carefully on each one of them, and he had to manually pick them up because only Baekhyun knew which one was for which outfit. Baekhyun wasn’t in the mood to argue with Kibum anytime soon if he didn’t follow the original concept, so he needed to do this tedious work himself.

“Do you have a pen? I need to write down something but I’m still charging my phone.” Baekhyun asked Chanyeol who was now taking a rest on a chair near Baekhyun, eyes so sleepy, after helping with the staffs to setup the equipment on set since early morning.

“Here.” Chanyeol fished out a pen from his pocket and gave it to Baekhyun. “Need a paper? You can tear it from my notebook. It’s on the table, black one.” He pointed out at the table in the middle of the room.

“Awesome. Thanks, Chanyeol.” He walked towards the table and looked for the notebook. But there were two identical notebooks there, and Baekhyun had no idea which one was Chanyeol’s. Chanyeol somehow fell asleep in a blink and Baekhyun didn’t want to disturb him so he just went to the dressing table to observe the outfits that The Kims already wearing now, he had no time to waste. Baekhyun started to write on his left palm. “Junmyeon, black ring.” He worded out his thoughts while writing those words. He chose to write the statement accessory only, he could find the same accessories set if he knew the main one.

Jongdae, who just silently observed him for a long time already while his makeup artist was focused on working magic on his face, went nostalgic when he saw Baekhyun wrote on his palm.

It had been a while since his soulmate wrote anything to him. 2 years maybe? The last time his soulmate wrote something, it was a nonsense combination of words in English. Brown, vanilla, sand, orange, gold, chocolate. Jongdae remembered it because the words were so random, that Jongdae didn’t even write back to his soulmate.

Should he write to his soulmate now? He would renew his contract soon and the dating ban would soon be lifted too, it should be okay to contact his soulmate now, right? He opened up his left palm which was holding a heat pack, battling his own thoughts.

But his mind suddenly went blank when he saw his palm.

“Jongin, red necklace.”

_ ** Junmyeon - black ring ** _

_ ** Jongin - red necklace ** _

_What the hell._

“Minseok, white pearl earrings.”

_ ** Junmyeon - black ring ** _

_ ** Jongin - red necklace ** _

_ ** Minseok - white pearl earrings ** _

“Jongdae...”

Jongdae immediately looked at Baekhyun, tears already flowed down his cheeks.

Baekhyun caught his eyes after writing something on his palm, and he panicked when he saw Jongdae was crying.

“Jongdae?” His makeup artist was calling him, and Jongdae went back to reality.

He immediately closed his left palm, too scared. Too scared if it was a sick joke, too scared if it was just his imaginations, too scared if the words would disappear and crush his thoughts.

“Jongdae, why are you crying?” Minseok who was sitting beside him, asked. He was extremely worried.

“My soulmate...” That was all Jongdae could say because that was all the words left in his brain. Everyone now seemed like they were talking to him but Jongdae couldn’t focus to anything.

“Your soulmate why?” Chanyeol who was asleep just now suddenly woke up when he heard everyone’s concern for Jongdae.

“Chanyeol, my soulmate...” Jongdae quickly stood and turned towards Chanyeol’s direction, he was lost and he didn’t know what to do.

“Hey, Jongdae. Calm down.” Chanyeol quickly walked towards Jongdae, his brain tried to process why did Jongdae suddenly cry. “Do you...do you attach with him emotionally? Emotional soulmate mark?” That was the only possible reason, with how Jongdae suddenly in tears and kept uttering the word soulmate.

Jongdae just shook his head, tears now streaming non stop down his face. “Inhaler...” He asked from Chanyeol as he hid his face. Everything was too much for him now.

Chanyeol quickly searched for the inhaler from his bag and gave it to Jongdae. Everyone in the room now looked concernly at Jongdae, but they didn’t know what to say since they were surprised too.

“30 minutes. Let me be alone for 30 minutes. I’ll be right back. I’m sorry.” Jongdae said it fast, voice muffled as he tried to talk through his broken sobs.

He walked quickly passed by everyone towards the door, passed by his members, passed by Baekhyun, and most importantly passed by his own life, since the joke of his life was on himself now.

Baekhyun could only looked at Jongdae, although he was dying to follow him. There was something in Jongdae’s face, helplessness, that made Baekhyun felt helpless too. Emotional soulmate mark was one of the mark that people was afraid to gain, it meant complete emotional attachment with your soulmate. Anything strong that you felt would be felt by your soulmate too. If they didn’t discuss their grounds properly, it was going to be hard for both sides. Whatever happened to Jongdae just now could happen again.

Baekhyun could only stared at his palm. He was soulmated too, but he didn’t say it to anyone, there was no purpose to tell anyone about it when he himself didn’t believe in it.

So he just wrote another words, out of disappointment.

* * *

Jongdae was sitting on a bench, somewhere that couldn’t be seen by the crews, hidden by a big tree and a big signboard showing the map of the theme park.

He really didn’t want to talk with anyone, if he could he didn’t even want to talk with himself. He kept looking back at his palm, just to make sure with himself, with his eyes, with his brain, with his heart.

_ ** Junmyeon - black ring ** _

_ ** Jongin - red necklace ** _

_ ** Minseok - white pearl earrings ** _

_ ** Jongdae - soulmated ** _

Jongdae’s tears didn’t stop, had no sign of stopping, to the point that he could feel his lungs started to weaken due to the intensity of his cry, and he started to wheeze.

He should know it from the beginning. It was just like what Baekhyun had said before. His heart, body and brain all reacted to Baekhyun and Baekhyun only. The whole universe was telling him clearly that it was Baekhyun all this time but Jongdae was stupid.

The thought of having Baekhyun as his soulmate was something so sacred to him that he was willing to trade anything for it. But it was also something that he was afraid of the most, in case it wasn’t going to be a reality, because soulmated to Baekhyun was the only thing that Jongdae wanted, more than everything, more than The Kims itself, for his life.

How could he know it was Baekhyun when the first few words that he saw were foreign words? It wasn’t even Korean or English. Baekhyun never speak Turkish. Did he learn it while learning fashion? Jongdae’s head was spinning.

He should know it was Baekhyun when the words I’m sorry, but I don’t believe in soulmate appeared. Only Baekhyun would dare enough to say it right away after knowing he was soulmated. He should write at that time immediately, silly, this is Baekhyun, right?

Baekhyun did give another hint it was him, he said he painted. Why it didn’t occur to Jongdae that time? Baekhyun was a painter, he painted on people’s faces, on his own face. That was why Baekhyun wanted to make sure where else their marks would appear, because as someone who loved makeup so much, Baekhyun would surely colored his faces often.

Jongdae could only cry harder as he held his inhaler tighter. He needed to calm down, but how could he right now? Nearly 4 years he was living in despair, thinking that he was one of those unlucky ones who ended up soulmated with the person that wasn’t going to care about him.

Turned out his soulmate was exactly what all people had said all this time.

A person so strongly bonded to you, that in just one look, one word, one breath and one touch he made to you, you would knew he was yours.

And Jongdae was indeed Baekhyun’s.

* * *

Jongdae avoided Baekhyun like a plague after that crying incident, to the point that Baekhyun was extremely disappointed. Beyond words. Every text that Baekhyun sent him, Jongdae would just reply less than 5 words. When he asked if everything was okay, Jongdae would only reply I’m okay, don’t worry. Whenever they met face to face, Jongdae would somehow find a way to escape from him, usually by pretending to sleep or listening to his earphones.

But then Jongdae was indeed less talkative towards everyone these last two weeks, often just gave a smile and a nod when he needed too. Baekhyun shared his worries with Sehun, who now was quite close with Baekhyun after that day in the lab. But even Sehun said that Jongdae didn’t talk much lately. Sehun dismissed it as nervousness due to the comeback and contract renewal, but Baekhyun knew it was something bigger than that. Jongdae looked weirdly calm and reserved, and that wasn’t the Jongdae that he knew.

How could Jongdae say a word when all his mind tried to supply to his mouth was _Baekhyun_, _I’m_ _your_ _soulmate_; _Baekhyun_, _I’m_ _your_ _soulmate_; _Baekhyun_, _I’m_ _your_ _soulmate_? He held it in, God knew how hard he tried to hold it to himself for these two weeks, when finally this day came when all of them were signing their respective contracts.

He couldn’t say it immediately to Baekhyun, dating ban was still a dating ban even it was only 2 weeks left. Baekhyun always acted first before thinking, still was after 5 years, and Jongdae didn’t want to make a mistake when all was left was 2 weeks. Both of them were extremely passionate human beings. Baekhyun would savor all of Jongdae the moment he told Baekhyun that he was Baekhyun’s, and Jongdae would never stop him. No, he must be patient.

Baekhyun was right, Jongdae was a very determined person. He was determined to tell Baekhyun after he signed the new contract, after he was sure he was no longer under a dating ban. He couldn’t leave loopholes for people to attack him and Baekhyun, didn’t want to jeopardize The Kims just because of his want and desperation. And he somewhat survived the 2 weeks.

Their managers were waiting for The Kims to finish signing their new contracts at the practice room, Baekhyun included. The outfits for The Kims’ comeback would arrive anytime soon today, so Baekhyun needed to wait at the agency to sign some forms regarding the outfits. There were a few people there too, the Blue Lemonade were practicing their choreography at the one corner of that huge practice room, and there were a few staffs hanging out there, just to relax and eat their late breakfasts.

It was around 11 am when The Kims finally entered the practice room, all with bright faces and bright smiles.

“Let me hug you guys!” Chanyeol immediately ran towards the four of them, and they were pulled together in a tight big hug. Kyungsoo and Sehun smiled at them, it was nice to see, knowing that they were one big family and they had each other’s back.

“Oh God, guys! You’re not going to believe it!” Jongin excitedly said.

“What, what? More good news?” Chanyeol sat on the floor, tugging Jongin with him.

“Minseok and Junmyeon are soulmated with each other!” He shouted happily while looking at both of the said guys who were now blushing red. “The scene was as epic as mine and Sehun!”

“What???” Chanyeol quickly turned towards the two of them too, the other staffs there also looked at Minseok and Junmyeon, tried to notice anything new. “Holy, your irises! You have matching irises! Vision soulmates!” Chanyeol shouted, and scooted to sit closer at them, too awed with the discovery. “Do you guys really can see what the others see?”

It was beautiful to see, with Minseok’s left iris now was bluish in color, matching with Junmyeon’s right one.

“I don’t know, we’re practically seeing the same thing right now.” Junmyeon answered, chuckling. Both of them looked so fond, but then it wasn’t a surprise to know that they did end up as soulmates, Minseok and Junmyeon always clicked with each other in every level.

“We were signing those contracts when suddenly the pain hit my eye. His eye too. Itchy. Next thing I knew Jongin was shouting that we’re soulmates.” Minseok told them, happiness was clear on his face.

“Do I need to research for contact lenses now for the the four of you?” Baekhyun joined the conversation. “Congratulations guys.” He patted both of them on their shoulders, it was nice to have such a great amount of happiness in the air.

Minseok patted Baekhyun‘s back, “Everyone close with The Kims is soulmated, Baekhyun. Maybe you should be a believer too.”

Baekhyun’s eyes went wide. “What? Chanyeol and Kyungsoo too?”

“Baekhyun! They are soulmated with each other!” Jongin excitedly grabbed Baekhyun’s arm.

Chanyeol was shy, but he immediately countered. “I’m dating his palate for years already, I want a breakup with his palate everytime he ate something weird.”

It was funny to think back about how they knew about it. It happened during one of The Kims’ comeback, while waiting for their turn to shoot in a music show, so early in the morning.

Chanyeol was having a nap when suddenly he woke up, stood too fast and shouting, “Who the hell ate mint choc ice cream 4 am in the morning, it tastes like toothpaste and I don’t even eat toothpaste!”

Kyungsoo went rigid in a corner, holding his mint choc ice cream in one hand and his handphone on another. The others, who were doing their own thing, looked at them with big eyes, wondering how did Chanyeol know Kyungsoo was eating mint choc ice cream in his sleep.

“Well, the mapo tofu you ate this morning was too oily, I nearly puke in front of Mr Lee.” Kyungsoo replied back.

And that was how they knew those two were soulmates, as polar opposites as possible, but they complimented each other perfectly. Soulmates who could taste what the other was eating, their tastes differed greatly, but somehow they didn’t really mind.

Baekhyun smiled when Jongin told him the story, everyone was truly connected in The Kims, one way or another. He wished he could be connected to them, these people were the true definition of friendships and he would love to be with them for a long time. Baekhyun secretly gazed at Jongdae who was sitting in front of the big mirror installed in the practice room, a bit far from where the others were gathering. Jongdae was quietly scrolling his phone, his face was serene.

“Jongdae, you didn’t want to call your soulmate here? Everyone is gathering with their soulmates now.” Chanyeol teased. He didn’t knew about Jongdae already found out about Baekhyun as his soulmate, but for Chanyeol, Baekhyun and Jongdae were bonded more than any pairing of soulmate could ever imagine.

“I will. Let me introduce you guys with my soulmate today.” Jongdae slyly replied.

“Seriously?” Sehun gaped at him.

“Yes. I want to call my mother first.” Jongdae smiled at those gaping faces, he couldn’t wait any longer but he needed to tell his mother first.

Jongdae pressed the call button and put the phone on his ear, the others quickly returned back to their own discussions as one big group.

“Mom.” He smiled when the call was connected.

“Hello Jongdae. Did you sign your contract already?” His mother asked lovingly.

“Yes, just now.”

“Congratulations, honey. I know you’ll continue to do great in the future.”

Forever the love of his life, Jongdae was truly grateful for his mother. “Mom, I’m soulmated.”

“Seriously? Jongdae, congratulations! May I know who is the lucky person? Do I know the person?”

“Mom, it’s...It’s Baekhyun.” Jongdae said shyly. His mother knew Baekhyun and Jongdae already became friends again, since Baekhyun lived with his parents now and often visited the house of Jongdae’s parents to drop some foods.

“Wow, Jongdae. You guys really are meant for each other.” His mother said fondly.

“But he doesn’t know about it yet, mom. How should I tell him? He’s not a believer.” Jongdae asked, he worried for days already on how to tell Baekhyun about this extremely important fact.

“You know him better, Jongdae. Whatever you’re planning to do, I know he’ll receive the news fine. It’s you after all.”

Jongdae went silent, stared at the wooden floor. “Thank you, mom. Please pray for us.”

“Always, honey. Take care, send my love to Baekhyun.”

“I will. Bye mom.”

Jongdae ended the call after his mother replied his goodbye, now trying to decide on how to tell Baekhyun.

The others were now talking about the contract, everyone was so eager to tell their stories.

“Jongdae is the craziest one here! He agreed for 60-40 with MS when all of us are settling for 70-30! He’s willing to trade that 10% for one more term from his side, he wants complete control over his personal life!” Jongin told the others excitedly.

That was actually a new term Jongdae proposed to Mr Lee, right after he knew that Baekhyun was his soulmate. He didn’t want anyone or anything to control his personal life anymore, not when he wanted Baekhyun, whole being of Baekhyun. Dating secretly was not something he wanted to do again, and he didn’t want his agency to have any words regarding his personal life anymore.

“Now I really want to know who is your soulmate now, Jongdae. You really risk it all for this person, huh?” Sehun commented but Jongdae just gave him a smile.

“Mr Lee said he’ll give you a better contract too, Baekhyun? What was that about?” Junmyeon asked.

“I...Actually we just agreed for me to be your stylist for a year. Just a simple agreement. But now he wanted me to sign a proper contract with MS as your head stylist for 5 years.” Baekhyun explained, he only shared this with Jongdae so it came as a surprise to the others. “Some big agency wanted me to be their stylist too, so, yeah. I don’t know. I’m still considering the best one.”

Jongdae’s heart was beating wild, his palm was now sweating even though it was cold in the practice room. He wanted Baekhyun to stay here with him and he wanted it bad. Jongdae decided to do it now, and started to grab a pen from his bag.

* * *

The others were still talking excitedly about the contract and now they were talking about where to eat their lunch to celebrate the event, and this was when Baekhyun realized that Jongdae was just sitting silently on his place, alone, doing absolutely nothing. Jongdae just hugging his knees, placed his chin on the middle of his knees and staring at them but without any focus.

He wanted to talk with Jongdae, about anything, everything, but it was hard when Jongdae kept on detaching himself like this.

Baekhyun sighed, scooted over to the plug located behind the whiteboard stand, where he was charging his handphone. When he wanted to reach for his handphone using his left hand, he saw writings on his palm.

** _Stay here_ **

** _ Sign contract with MS _ **

Baekhyun quickly glanced around the room once he finished reading the writings, in extreme panic. Only those people in this room knew about the contract.

He saw the others were still discussing about foods and restaurants, while Blue Lemonade was still dancing to their song.

Weird.

He looked at his right palm, just in case there were more writings.

His heart pounded crazily when he read the writings on his right palm.

_ ** Baekhyun ** _

_ ** I love you ** _

This was crazy, Baekhyun looked up to observe each person in the room. The Blue Lemonade was practicing so hard he couldn’t judge their faces now, in case these writings were written before they started their practice. He then looked at The Kims and the managers. No, all of them were already soulmated.

That left him with the staffs who were sitting on another corner, sitting a bit far from them. His eyes saw Jongdae in his vision towards the staffs.

Jongdae is already soulmated, of course not—

Baekhyun stopped the movement of his eyes. Literally stopped, even his breathing was halted. He looked back at Jongdae, who was now looking back at him.

Those stares were sharp, sharper than anything, with millions of meaning, and it was solely for Baekhyun.

_ You’ve got to be kidding me. _

Baekhyun locked on their stares, hand reached for a marker that he saw before on the floor, right below the whiteboard stand.

He observed Jongdae, who just silently stared at him. He looked at Jongdae’s exposed arm that he could see from his place.

Left arm.

Baekhyun immediately opened the marker’s cap using the fingers of his right hand, and folded the left sleeves of his sweater. Their eyes were still locked with each other.

Baekhyun slowly drew a line on his left arm, starting from his elbow, downwards.

A black line appeared on Jongdae’s arm.

Baekhyun continued to draw zigzags after the straight line.

A zigzag appeared on Jongdae’s arm, continuously after the straight line.

Baekhyun was gaping now, couldn’t believe what was happening, so he continued to draw wavy lines up until his wrist.

A wavy lines appeared on Jongdae’s arm, identical with the one on Baekhyun’s arm.

“You piece of shit.” Baekhyun said angrily, threw the marker so hard on the floor, it startled the others. “You knew. You knew all this time yet you didn’t say it, why? You—” Baekhyun was standing now, started to walk towards Jongdae.

“Hey, what’s happening?” Someone said in the background, but Baekhyun didn’t pay any attention to them.

“You think I care about your dating ban? News flash, Kim Jongdae! I’m willing to pay the ban penalty to MS every single day of my life, until my death and you know I’ll do it!”

Baekhyun was now standing in front of Jongdae, but Jongdae didn’t move. He just continued to stare back at Baekhyun.

“The hell! I’m so mad at you yet you didn’t say anything! Say something, you fool!” Baekhyun bended both of his knees in front of Jongdae, grabbing the collar of Jongdae’s sweater with both of his hands, he couldn’t control his anger anymore.

But Jongdae didn’t say anything. Instead he just put his arms around Baekhyun’s neck and pulled Baekhyun towards him, searching for Baekhyun’s lips immediately.

It was crazy, but then both of them were crazy, and they were definitely crazy for each other.

The kiss wasn’t subtle, they didn’t do subtle. It was needy, probably dirty, if it wasn’t for the silent tears that were now ran down on Jongdae’s face.

Baekhyun’s hands now were cupping both sides of Jongdae’s cheeks, tilting it better for him. Because he wanted more, he needed more, he craved for Jongdae so much. Baekhyun kissed him deeper, searched for Jongdae’s tongue and sucked it harder. He didn’t care about the others, really he didn’t—

“Why the hell are you crying like crazy there?” Baekhyun shouted at Chanyeol who was now sobbing so hard somewhere behind them. He turned around and grabbed the empty bottle lying on the floor near him and threw it at Chanyeol’s direction.

“I’m sorry, I’m so sorry...” Chanyeol said between his sobs, dodging the bottle. “I’m praying so hard for both of you everyday, this is too emotional for me...” He cried again, so hard, it started to look ugly but he didn’t mind. His friends were happy, and he was too happy for them.

Jongdae smiled through his tears, hands now tugging Baekhyun’s sweater, pulled him for a back hug, which Baekhyun easily melt in Jongdae’s arms. Jongdae hid his face on Baekhyun’s neck, and muttered it softly.

“I love you, Baekhyun. I love you so much.”

It was easy to see it when they were sitting like that, their arms exposed. There was a random line on both of their left arms, almost chaotic, but too identical to call it as coincidence.

Jongdae and Baekhyun, each other’s soulmate.

* * *

The Kims had a crazy comeback, they were so busy, but it truly worth it with all the wins that they got while promoting their latest album. Even after the promotion period ended, The Kims still managed to grab a win here and there. And now they were planning to start another tour, and Baekhyun was officially the head stylist for their tour.

Baekhyun was laying on the bed silently, the curtains were tied up so he could see the billboard outside of the apartment.

It was now filled with Jongdae’s image, promoting their latest collaboration, Prive x Jongdae, the Soulmate Collection.

Baekhyun smiled at the billboard. He still couldn’t believe that they managed to launch that collection this morning despite Jongdae’s full schedule. And everything already sold out today too, that Baekhyun had to tell the production lab to create more and he had to announce on his Twitter that the products would be restocked as soon as possible.

It was hectic, but it totally worth it.

“Why are you looking at the billboard with extreme interest when you can look at the real thing here?” Jongdae hovered on top of him, trapping Baekhyun with both of his arms around Baekhyun’s head.

Jongdae just finished showering and already wore his pyjamas, ready to get some sleep when he saw Baekhyun there, probably daydreaming on the bed.

“You look handsome on that billboard.” Baekhyun looped his arms around Jongdae’s small waist. “Even more handsome when you’re so close like this.”

Jongdae kissed Baekhyun’s temple softly, “Thanks to the makeup artist, I guess.”

“Thanks to me?” Baekhyun met Jongdae’s eyes.

And he saw his whole universe.

“Thank you, love.” Jongdae whispered, carded his fingers on Baekhyun’s hair which already dry while waiting for Jongdae to finish showering. Baekhyun pulled Jongdae closer, chest to chest, wanted more warmth. He weaved his fingers on Jongdae’s nape, pulled him again, until their lips touched. A simple kiss, but it was easy to drown in it.

“Jongdae.” Baekhyun sucked Jongdae’s lower lip, and Jongdae hummed, gripped a handful of Baekhyun’s hair softly to angle Baekhyun’s face, didn’t even stop kissing Baekhyun.

“Let’s go to the soulmate registry.” He put his legs around Jongdae’s thighs, locked him tight, still kissing him.

But Jongdae stopped kissing him, to look at Baekhyun properly. “Seriously?”

Couples went to the soulmates registry to register themselves as soulmates officially under the law, also served as proof that they now acknowledged each other as family. It wasn’t really required, but couples did it anyway since the statement was strong enough to tell the world that they were bonded, emotionally and legally.

“Serious. Whenever you’re ready. I’m in this soulmate shit with you for life.” Baekhyun kissed Jongdae’s exposed neck, wished he could mark it, but then he couldn’t. The one that had to hide and touch up the mark later would be Baekhyun himself and he hated to hide the mark.

“Cool. I’ll check my schedule for free time.” Jongdae kissed Baekhyun again.

“I hate your schedule.” Baekhyun said between kisses.

“You love me.” Jongdae gave him a peck before slowly raised his body to move. But Baekhyun really trapped him good.

“I love you. It’s crazy. I really love you.” Baekhyun pulled him for another kiss.

“I want to turn off the light, Baekhyun.” Jongdae whined, but he responded towards the kiss anyway.

“Hug me and kiss me and drag me with you towards the switch, I don’t care. I still want to kiss you and today hasn’t ended yet. It’s still my birthday, humor me.”

“You’re helpless.”

“Helplessly in love with you.”

It was a normal night in their studio apartment, sometimes would become too heated, sometimes would calm down with a few more make out sessions. But it would always end the same way. They would cuddle each other to sleep, and that was enough for them.

Because at the end of the day they would always had each other, soulmated forever.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh wow, you really finished reading this mess. Thank you so much for reading :)


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